I can't change my past - only my future.

11 days - easy when you have nothing.

12 days without gambling - easy when you have nothing.

13 days without gambling - easy when you have nothing.

14 days without gambling - easy when you have nothing.

15 days.

15.5 days - time for a bit of detail.

So I was on here a few months ago full of confidence about overcoming the demon, and I didn't get very far. Cue 3 months of dodging about, gathering up some more debt, and now I find myself struggling from one payday to the next.

I'm trying again, and as you can see from my previous posts, it's easy not to gamble when you have nothing to do so. Why should this time be different? Well,

I've told a very close friend about my problems. It was a great relief to let it out to someone that wasn't family that I know i can trust, and I was hoping that he would understand - he did. I'm going to speak with him soon again, he has said he will help me, I don't know what that means, but any help is appreciated just now.

I've stated in the past that drink is the trigger for me, and so a conscious effort to avoid that is also being made. I had a few on Thursday this week, but no rush of feelings experienced, and no gambling that night or the following day.

I'm also prescribing to the healthy body = healthy mind mantra, i've been pounding (walking) almost every night for over an hour or so, especially seeing as the weather's been decent recently. I feel better for it, getting some fresh air into the lungs, instead of moping about the house feeling sorry for myself.

Also, if and when I get my finances sorted, i'm going to look to turning a penny in other ways. I've got an interest in vintage watches, and I fancy trying auctions for a bit of buying selling. Plenty of potential positives here, I might earn a small bit every now and then, I can indulge my interest, and it occupies my time - time that in the past I may have chosen to go to the pub, or worse....

So that's where I find myself just now. As I type this, I can honestly say that I have no want to gamble, and I know there's no need to. I hope this lasts, as life is too short to live it as I have for the last few years. Time to turn things around once and for all, on many fronts. Time to grow. Time to live.

Hi Steven

Thanks for the post , it's great to see u back on here it's goin to help u so much in ur own recovery , also supporting others will help u knowing ur helping others

Well done for confiding in ur friend that will help too , like u I relapsed after 3 months and also thought I had it beat , its a real learning curb and u will av learned from ur relapse it will make u stronger and go on to lead a better life

Stay strong

Castle2

Thanks for the comment Castle, I was beginning to think I was the only one that could read this!! 🙂

I have started to address the recent debt that I have got myself into. 1 company wishes the funds on the agreed date or I have to pay the interest to extend the loan, however another company has agreed to accept installments and freeze interest. I'm aware of services such as CCCS, but I must sort this myself.

16 days without gambling - easy when you have nothing.... 16 days not wanting to gamble either.

Hi Ste ven,

Thanks for posting on my diary. Feeling a bit better about things today.

Well done on your continuing recovery. Regarding the debts, If you go with CCCS or Payplan they will get the companies to agree to freeze interest so you won't have to even speak to them. It costs nothing for a debt management plan.

Stay strong, keep busy.

A>N.

Hi Ste ven,

THanks for posting on my diary.

I agree with A>N, CCCS will help sort your debts out with you. It's hard coping with an addiction and having serious debt problems but if someone can take control of one then you can put more energy into controlling the other. I went onto a DMP after running up huge debts, but now feel that side of my life is in control. I still owe money and it will take a few years to pay off what I owe, but I can now contentrate on dealing with the demon instead of both.

Fantastic that you are staying strong and positive.

Keep up the good work.

Best wishes

Kathy x

AN + Kathy

Thank you for your posts, most appreciated. I understand your advice, but unfortunately CCCS is not an option I can pursue, and must leave that conversation at that i'm afraid.

I have had a good degree of success regarding negotiating with my newly gained creditors. The vast majority have agreed to freeze interest, and are willing to accept payments over the next 3-5 months. This makes things slightly easier in the immediate term, but i still have a lot to sort out before the end of the month. I will get there though, I am being proactive and seeing the results.

I would also encourage anyone who feels at a loss to think about physical exercise. I have been walking a lot in the late afternoon/early evenings recently, and not only do I feel better physically, but mentally as well.

19 days and no gambling, and no desire to either.

Hi Steven

good to talk to you on chat and you should be proud of yourself for being so positive. It was alos good to hear you are sorting your debts out and like we said they will all sort themselves out eventually if you don't gamble!

Keep strong and stay positive

Jewels

Hi Steven,

Thank u 4 ur post on my diary, U r rite 🙂

It was nice 2 speak 2 u in chat.... U r doing brilliant. Ur determination shines thru 🙂

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

I am in control of my own destiny.

I am in control of the choices I make.

20 days and no gambling, and no desire to either.

I am in control.

21 days - yep, that's 3 weeks... no gambling, no desire to gamble.

I am in control.