I can't keep living like this!

Hey

I'm new and I'm on day 1. I was gamble free for 3years, then started again 2years ago.

Good Luck, keep positive, I'm taking it from hour to hour at the moment.

Hi

I'm new to all this too, hope this is the start to getting my life back on track I have been on a downward spiral for almost 3 years getting worse.I managed to stop for 4 months this year and was really happy and finally felt life was back on track with sorting out finances etc.Shamefully I relapsed and lost way too much money , I can't do this anymore it's wasting my life. Good luck to everyone on this journey, wishing your strength and gentler days ahead x

Hey Annie,

Good luck to you too. I wholeheartedly agree with you. We are not just wasting money we are wasting our lives. Slots dominate my thoughts from morning to night. Time to gain back control.

Thanks for the support guys and wish you both the best on your journeys. I feel this addiction and the damage it causes gets progressively worse and the relapses hit harder than ever before.

This week has been so difficult trying to put it all to one side and focus on my job feels like there is just a great big fog clouding all my thoughts.

Today is day three and I am beginning to wonder what I can do differently this time and what changes I can make to my life to keep myself safe.

I have managed to set up a new pay plan with stepchange which is one positive of this week but feel I need to find the motivation to get some more fulfilment from life and enjoy my own company again. Easier said than done I guess.

One day at a time, in fact I am taking an hour at a time. Sounds pathetic but I've been awake 2hours and not searched for free bets! That's an achievement for me!

Keep chatting, you can get over this. We all can. Day 2 for me and like I said, instead of searching free bets, I've came here!

Everytime I feel the urge, I'm checking in, and hopefully replacing it with updating my diary and helping other people beat there's.

Stay strong!

Day 2 for me too I feel determined this time , really feel at rock bottom.Just bought Allen Carr the easy way to stop gambling, it's got great reviews so thought I would give it a try. Keep strong everyone we can do this!

Hope you have both managed to stay gamble free!

Off to work this morning so least I am keeping busy. Feel like there are lots of little things that I need to sort but guess there is always time and patience to achieve this.

Gambling has unfortuantely been a huge part of my life I think I have gambled for the best part of 12 years and realised its been a big problem for about 7 years. Where does the time go!

I have gambled when I am feeling okay and sometimes when the feelings you have blocked out from gambling overwhelm you so you run back to it because you dont feel comfortable.
I have lied, been crafty and hidden this for so long and much more.

I have gambled when im anxious, when im sad, after a fall out with the mrs, when im tired, stressed for a buzz and to escape. I need to fill my time with things I enjoy and address the problems I struggle with so its not the same old vicious circle.

But I am here today to try replace that evil habit and writing things down has helped a little. I'd like to get myself back and be care free again as I realise one spin will set me back and start that destruction again.

Feel like ive waffled a little but today is day 4 and im making steady progress not really had thoughts to gamble but have been upset and very anxious after my last bet and worry about money.

I have too much to lose and life is too much of a struggle to carry on down that path any longer.

Typicalme

Waffle on buddy. I completely relate to it all. But you know what, Day 3 today and I've probably saved over £300! That's keeping me going!

I'm actually for the first time in a long time looking forward, and seeing a brighter future!

Life is what we make it!! Let's make it GF!!

Stay strong

Hi

still GF day 3 ...

took the dog on a really long walk and have 2 baskets of ironing to keep me busy.My best friend just called me he checks in on me everyday to make sure everything is ok, he's the only one that knows about this and has been so supportive, I'm actually meeting with him tomorrow to go through my finances, I'm in a lot of debt due to blackjack .ive self excluded all my accounts and determined never to go near it again.I think we always think the next big win is around the corner and it will solve all our problems , the reality is it digs a bigger hole and we feel even worse.the Allen Carr book is really helping too.

Stay strong everyone and be kind to yourself

Well done Annie!

The key is certainly to keep busy, keep the mind off it.

Glad you have a friend supporting you. I'm very lucky in the way, I've not gotten us into debt, as such. Any money I borrowed to hide what I spent was paid back the next payday. Always with the promise I would never do it again.

Been there years back and promised myself I would never get that bad again. This is why I'm here now. I could see it begin to spiral again. Needed nipped in the bud now.

Keep going Annie..keep strong and proud GF!

Morning

Day 4 and checking in , hope you have found the strength to stay gf.

i have just passed all my cards over to my friend he's helping me plan my finances to pay off This crippling gambling debt, feel so ashamed all this debt and with nothing to show but I have to deal with it the money is never coming back.also I managed to find a way on the iPhone that the internet can be disabled -you do need someone else to put in a pin code for you, disabled it on my android phone already with a free app called app lock you add the app to app lock that you do not want to access so the internet and also play store so another browser can't be downloaded, again someone will need to put a pin in for you but another useful way of restricting access.

Taking away the means and method to gamble can only be a positive step, I'm waffling now so sorry.

Wishing you all a gentle day and strength to continue your GF journey

Good afternoon diary been a couple of days since I last posted! Was busy with the new job saturday and monday also nursing a hangover on sunday!

Decided I am going to look at my recovery and life in a positive light as despite battling this addiction I have had a good year so far got an exciting new job to get stuck into, a steady long term relationship, been on holiday and to plenty of gigs and live with two of my good friends. Yes ive let my parents down at times but they still support me so all in all its not all bad and there is no point dwelling on the past only looking to it to learn from it.

Enjoying the first of two days off today trying to keep myself busy.

7 days gamble free feel a lot better than this time last week!

Checking in! Still gamble free had a good day with the family yesterday and spent every evening of the week with the mrs which has been enjoyable! Busy day at work today. Looking forward to being off tomorrow lazy day watching the cricket and the tennis

Quite tired this morning up early working today and tomorrow but at least that keeps me being productive, busy and safe.

One positive of my new job is I am learning a lot compared to previous years and I am working 4 days in 3 off so its giving me a better work/life balance. Previously I had to work sleep-in shifts and the boredom at times, stress, lack of time to enjoy things, lack of a routine and the general unhappiness at not fulfilling my potential took its toll mostly in the form of gambling binges I feel anyway.

One thing that has always bugged me when ive tried to recover in the past and currently is my mind is like a human calculator working out how much money I have left, forecasting what I will spend for the rest of the month, how much I can save this month and long term and what I have spent on a daily basis. Also find it difficult buying everyday things. Anyone any advice to shake that off?

Another addiction I want to address is smoking its costing me a fortune even if I worked on the premise that I gambled just 100 a month in the previous year alongside smoking if the two were truly knocked on the head that would save about 3000 a year. That would halve my debts. (I know I mentioned the human calculator bit above but guess this is important haha)

Today is day 11 taking things one day at a time really. Just for today I will not gamble.