Hi
It took me along time to be honest with my self.
It took me along time to understand that my addictions and obsessions were fear based due to the pains of my hurt inner child having not been healed.
My addictions and obsessions were very unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I could not cope with in how I felt.
Even last night I heard the saying, I loved gambling.
I questioned that simple statment.
For me today love is about having close intimate realtionships with living people creatures.
Today I understand that when I say I love addictions obsessions money or material things is not true.
For me my gambling was a way of me escaping in my fears from how I felt and due to pains not being healed, fears nto being reduced, and due to my unreasonabale expectations of people life and situations.
What I wanted and needed from my parents was not possible.
My parents lived in fears long before I was born.
Was I a victim, yes for sure yet that helped me understand that I was not weak evil or bad, I was simply emotionally vulnerable.
Once I stuck with the recovery program I got to understand that the recovery was not going to fix or heal me.
Yet the recovery program was going to hel me and other to join together in finding ways of me healing my self.
It was important for me to understand when I was emotionally vulnerable I would get to understand my emotional triggers.
Just because I abstained from unhealthy habits did not mean my hurt inner child was being healed.
I often abstained yet would find other ways of escaping emotionally to television computer games etc.
In time I got to give so many unhealthy habits.
Yet food today is still a thing I need to take care of today.
Yesterday I had stitches taking out of my eyes and my fear were not that bad.
Each unhealthy habit I would recognize I would find a way of making unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
The recovery program is very simular to mountain climbers, we are ted and linked together in safe ways to finding much healthier paths in our life.
The mountain climbers are tied to each other with rope, we are tied to each other with honesty and strength and our fears are reduced.
I like so many people did not abstain from day one walking in to the recovery program.
Yet no matter when my last bet was the important thing is today is to keep attending meetings.
By investing time in the recovery program we are the beneficeries of our time and efforts.
I no longer want to be the loner, I no longer want to live in any kind of fear today.
I no longer want to cause my self or others pains again.
I no longer want to be my own worst enemy.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
Dave of Beckenham
Hi
It is very sad that I wasted so much time in my life gambling I finished up working for nothing.
Any money I worked for I simply gave it away.
So in effect I worked for nothing.
I lost value in my self.
I could not trust my self.
I use to beat my self up time and time again.
There is no limit in my life today.
I over come my fears and I and my wife achieve so much in my life.
Hi
I am a non religious person, if I can find a healthy recovery any one can.
For me the recovery program is about healing my pains and becoming healthy.
I needed to learn and understand each of my emotional triggers.
The pains of my child hood were not healed which caused fears in me that I did not understand.
Fear of emotional intimacy.
Fear of being honest.
Fear of being accountable to myself.
Fear of emotional intimacy meant I could not open up to healthy realtionships.
Fear of using the telphone list.
Fear of letting people know I could nto articulate my feelings and emotions.
Fear of being asked personal questions.
Lots of people think that humbling your self is belittling your self.
It is the exact opposite humbling your self is making your self an equal to all people.
Each time I gambled I was in effect working for nothing.
Working hards for weeks moths years and giving it away while I went with out, how healthy is that.
Each time I gambled it was very important to understand my last emotional trigger.
Learn to heal your pains.
Learn to reduce your fears.
Learn to reduce your reduce your expectations lof life people and situations.
Learn to use your telephone list.
Learn to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
Learn to write down your needs your wants and your goals daily.
Cross out even item your acomplish from your list.
Learn to respect your self.
Learn to Love your self.
Learn to be aptienta dn tolerant with your self.
Once you are committed to your recovery you stop working for nothing.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
Dave of Beckenham
Hi
I understand more about my self now.
Yet I know and understand that I can achieve so much more in my life today.
My unhealthy reactions reduce and my healthy interactions improve.
There is less fear in my life today.
How much fear I want to reduce is up to me today.
How much more time I place in achieving more goals is all up to me today.
I left school back in 1962 with no quailifications at all. Zip none.
After spending a year away on the coast doing nothing I understood that I did not want to do nothing with my life.
In time I took up technical drawing, later I went to college and learned electronics and radio and TV servicing.
In later years I was on the road as a service engineer.
The thing is untill I found my recovery I did things with unhealthy motives.
The addictions and obsessions just indicated how emotionally vulnerable I was.
Just because I abstained did not indicate that I was healing my hurt inner child.
By abstaing from unhealthy pains self destructive habits it was only then that healing could start.
So we heal out pains, we face our fears, we exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
Sticking with recovery we gin more clarity more focus more understanding.
Once I got counselling my awareness improved, less leg twitching happened.
I am able to live my life to the full today.
To become more aware and more self sufficient in my self.
Dave L
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
