If I don’t stop I am going to lose everything

Dear alliwonton1,

I am so sorry to read your story. First and foremost, get some help for how you are feeling. Whether that be through tour GP or treatment through GamCare or both.

You don’t say how you beam me but there are many self exclusion options that a GamCare advisor can talk you through. Please give them a call or contact them on live chat. Get all of the blocks that you can in place as soon as possible. Don’t let the moment pass. It is really hard to stop gambling without support. I know that only too well. The good news is that you can beat this. I have recently passed my 100 day gamble free milestone after living in hell for a few years. I had to hit rock bottom to get where I am now but life is so much better. There is a chat room for an hour a 1pm and 8pm each day. Join if you can. You will get plenty of advice and support from people going through similar experiences and it is a safe space with no judgement.

I wish you all the best. Please access the support available. It has been a genuine lifeline for me. 

Hi aliwonton1,

Overcoming problem gambling is a challenge, however, it's one that many people do go on to overcome. Perhaps we could discuss some coping strategies that may help you? It's great that you're reaching out for support from your peers by posting on the forum. Please continue to do this, you're welcome to join our live group chat too which opens twice a day from 1pm until 2pm and then again from 8pm until 9pm.

Please remember that you're not alone in this, we're here for you. If you would like to discuss things on a one to one basis, please call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline via our website. We can also make free referrals to a Treatment Partner local to you for further help and support.

Best Wishes

Forum Admin

Lots of here who have beaten and others, like I, striving to every day.  There is the before, that led you to gambling - that still needs to be fixed otherwise you will relapse, and there is the tomorrow which is putting up barriers so you dont/cant relapse.

Lots of helpful advice to be found here, so look forward to joining you on your path.

Hi guys thanks very much for you words of support. One day 1. yesterday was a hard day. That dreaded feeling of a loss. Yesterday was a real low point in my life. Been here so many times and end up back here all the time. I am a compulsive gambler and don’t know when to stop, therefore I should not gamble in anyway. I don’t even know why I am gambling as I am not gambling towards an amount cause When I get to that amount and can’t stop. Just so low just now and so angry with myself how i end up back here. If I don’t stop this demon is going to cause Myself harm. I never honestly thought this would make me feel the way I do. I am really thinking compulsive gambling massively affects your mental health and mind set it’s when gambling it’s like it’s all that matters. I love the bones of my wife and she would do anything for me and I do this it, makes it all harder. I am a strong person but gambling makes me weak and destroys my mind. The feeling right now is hurting so bad. I am sure it will get easier but right now I can’t cope with all the thoughts. Any support is much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Morning Aliwonton1,

I am sorry that you are feeling so low.  You don’t need to try to deal with how you are feeling alone. It may be a good idea to make an urgent appointment with your GP? If you haven’t already, please think about contacting a GamCare advisor today. I can recognise how you are feeling and just by way of encouragement, I can say that your mental health can and will get better with the right support. Just a few months on after hitting rock bottom I feel like a completely different person. 

Wishing you all the best x

Hi, I've beaten it..  took 3 years of my life but I haven't been on an online gambling site since November 2018. My partner had a heart attack so we had to stop getting drunk every weekend! Since then my life is absolutely fantastic. I have teeny little urges now and again after a few wines but I can't imagine ever going back to how I used to be. It makes me feel ill. You can do it if you really want. Feel free to message me.

Day 4 GF,  still gutted I have found myself in this mess. Trying to get my head round it all. I never in my life when I started gambling think  I would find myself in this mess due to gambling. During my lapses I would go to all sort of money lenders just to get money to gamble. I would keep saying when winning one more bet and I am done or get my money back and I am done. I would never walk away. I am a compulsive gambler and must not gamble in anyway. I never realised in my life how much it would mess with your head. Inside right now my brain if fried due to gambling. I need to stop for my health and for my future. I know right now I knew I was on the verge of losing everything but I still continued to gamble. I am sure this feeling will pass at some point but right now it’s raw and hurts. Right now I hate who I have become. I am lost in the headlights. Take day by day and become the better person I used to be and stop being a weak person and gambler that I used to be.

Day 6 GF. Been keeping busy and checking the football scores thinking that god I haven’t had a bet today. Everyday I am GF I feel I am winning as it’s another day GF and clearing my mind and flushing this demon out my mind. I will always be a compulsive gambler. I think In in the past I have given up for 60 odd days and then I start again thinking I can control my gambling. It’s that first bet it’s not the amount that I lose as I know I  a compulsive gambler. I never thought this addiction would affect me so bad and give me the feelings it has done. Feeling down and hating myself cause I have been here before. Plan to keep busy and focused on not gambling today.

Not been on in a few days. Been really struggling to come to terms with how I have wasted 20 years of my life. I never knew compulsive gambling could be so bad for you and your health. I can’t stop. I would gamble all day every day. I am sick lying for money. Lying all my life to hide all the loses. I can’t hide anymore. No more from me. I need to be honest with myself thar under no circumstances can I gamble. I am a compulsive gambler. If I don’t stop I am going to lose my life as I can’t life with this demon any morez

17 days GF. Really down just now regarding what gambling has done to me. I only have myself to blame. I never thought I would go to the measures I have done to keep gambling. Even when I win a good bit. I don’t know when to stop. Under no circumstances can I gamble anymore. Having stopped I am scared I have to live for the rest of my life trying to beat this demon. My mood is so low I hate myself. I could have so much more in life for myself. I am crippled with debt and not sure I have a way out. Coming up on 3 weeks now and my mood has not changed. 

Dear @aliwonton1,

I'm sorry to hear you're still really down and that you feel so low that you hate yourself. As severe as this feels for you now, please know there is always a way out of this and there is always people to help you with the problem gambling and all the negative impacts it creates.

Have you spoken to your GP recently about how low you feel? If not, would you be able to make an urgent appointment please so they can support you? If you can't get an appointment in the near future, you can call the NHS 111 for urgent medical advice and they have the ability to make out of hours appointments if needed at a local GP Surgery.

You can also access mental health websites with helplines on the below links:-

https://www.thecalmzone.net/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/

https://www.supportline.org.uk/

https://www.samaritans.org/

Do you have a support network around you that you could also reach out to? To open up about the full extent of how you're feeling and about the damage the problem gambling has caused to your self worth and self esteem?

There are other organisations that you can contact for support with debt and the Citizens Advice can give help with debt, essential living cost options if you're struggling, financial matters and legal if needed.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

https://www.stepchange.org/

https://www.nationaldebtline.org/

https://www.payplan.com/

Many people find it beneficial to self exclude from gambling, have you put this in place? If not, you can contact one of the self exclusion schemes to do this. We can give you more details if you would like to contact us to discuss things further and advise us which methods you use to gamble?

You can call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) via our GamCare website. We're open day and night.

We're always here for you, please remember you don't have to go through this alone.

Kindest Regards

Joanne

Forum Admin

Good evening 

I rarely post on other threads but I feel compelled to write on yours, why??

because I have walked in your shoes I have experienced the feelings you express and I will say this, you’re 17 days without the self destruction, that alone is something to be proud of, from that I will tell you this, put everything you can in place to make the next punt impossible, self exclude, give control of your finances to another person, break the triangle at all times 

time-money-location 

take one away and that punt is impossible 

seek professional help, why did you gamble, for me it was pure escapism, the stakes irrelevant it was about staying in action nothing more.

most of all I will give to you the advice I got on my first day here eight years ago 

be kind to yourself 

breathe and slow down, yes you will have to arrest that next bet for life, yes you will have to accept that whatever you have lost it’s gone and you will never see it again 

but take your time, enjoy the fact that you have given yourself a 100% pay rise as a result of the actions of 17 days ago 

just for today 

Duncs 

Hey duncs, thanks for your kind words. I have blocks in place and my wife takes too do with the bills for one reason, I can’t be trusted with bill money. It breaks my heart too think why I have put myself in this position. Under no circumstances can I gamble ever again.