Today I start my attempt at breaking this terrible addiction that has affected my life for to long!..
started gambling heavily in 2014 after my marriage broke down..I am.unsure whether the heart ache of the breakdown or the fact I no longer had the other half watching over our money caused me to turn to online betting sites...
over the past 3-4 years I've gone from one online site to the next... having the odd big win... (they always get it back) to having massive losses.. then excluding from that site only to open up a new one. with a new company once I recover from that horrible feeling of a big loss...
I am ashamed at the amount of money ive lost.in gambling.. i earn a very good wage and I should be living very comfortably.As it stands im going to be struggling for some.time.to recover from my latest loss.
I always have set rules in my head before I deposit.. and always convince. myself that I have learned from mistakes..but once I deposit and start betting all.my rules go.out the window and I gamble.recklessly chasing losses until all.my monthly wage is gone.I now realise I don't have the discipline or.self. control to gamble.What's good.is im.now self. excluded from all the main online sports sites apart from one where I have an open bet until the end of the football.season.I am.unable.to.place further bets with them though as they put restrictions on my account after i had a lot.of.good.wins with them lol they will happily allow.someone to lose thousands. ut dont want you winning to much.
it's going to be very hard as I am a sports fan and watch it alot but rarely watch it these days without putting a bet on ... or.thinking what bet I would.place if i had the money..but i am.determined to do this to get my life back on track and also to provide a better life for my daughters who deserve better than the current me
so day 1 starts now! 10/9/17
Hi Liam - good to see you take trhe first step, what else can you commit to at the moment?
i.e. there is a list of all contacts for the majority of online sites on the overcoming problem gambling tab of this website... might be an optipn for you to look at?
hello, thanks.for taking the time to.comment.
I'm willing to.commit to anything really as this needs to.stop.i will look for the tab you mentioned now . thanks
onto day 2..
still feeling the after affects of losing most my wages. filled with anxiety and tension... but i have been here before somehow struggles through to next payday and then deposited again.not really thought much about gambling but that is a normal reaction for a few days after losing.
going to go to the gym today before work to try and lift my mood. thanks for reading
liam
Welcome to the diaries Liam . Your not on your own here , we're all compulsive gamblers trying to help each other . I personally had just about lost hope when I came to GamCare but am now 123 days without a bet . Something seemed to click in my mind and I now feel confident about my recovery . Maybe i'm just one of the lucky ones .....stephen
Thanks for sharing Liam. Sounds like you have a lot going for you but have been dragged down by gambling. I'm 179 days since my last bet. I have no idea how I managed that but it feels good. After my last binge, I too was full of anxiety. These days I'm a lot more chilled out. I love life without gambling but it's still difficult. We all get urges from time to time.
All the best with your recovery.
thanks for your comments .. and well done on your recoveries. I can imagine how hard it has been! or does it get better with time? I'm only in day 2 and today I have had several thoughts about going into the bookies.. with my rent money and trying to chase the losses.. thankfully I didn't
onto day 3
still so anxious .. mainly about how the hell im gonna get through this month with no money!..had a couple of thoughts of gambling my rent money but I have resisted and will pay my rent today.. going to the gym again before work. and then i have my kids with me tonight. hopefully this anxiety will ease up
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