I'm on my way back!

So it's gonna be tight for a long while but if I get my old self back and actually feel better than I did before I gambled then it's actually been a good thing that's happened to me. I'm a strong believer in whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I've no doubt I'll be a stronger person once I'm through this.

My darkest moments have been on a Thursday or a Friday when I loose big and I have the whole weekend to get through in terrible form just wanting to sleep and making excuses to people why I've no interest in doing anything. I will never have a weekend like that again. I will write about a lot of those experiences down the line. It's great to get these off my chest to others who have had similar experiences and who are going through this at the moment. I also had good times when I was winning, I thought I was invinceable and my winning streaks went on for so long I thought I had beaten the system. Usual story through. You will loose one day, not just what you have won, but more, and more.

Does anyone else feel like they have totally let themselves down to a point were they don't even like themselves? Before I started gambling I used to often think to myself there is no one else I'd rather be, hope that doesn't sound arrogant but I think everyone has to be happy in themselves to live a happy life. I'd totally lost that. But today I got a wee bit of that back, the old me!! Let's just hope that was only the start.

That's me done for tonight, hope I haven't bored anyone. I like to read other peoples experiences as they have helped me so if I can help even just one person for even just 5 minutes then I will continue my dribble!!

Day 6 has just started!!! What's in store today???

Good luck everyone

So it's gonna be tight for a long while but if I get my old self back and actually feel better than I did before I gambled then it's actually been a good thing that's happened to me. I'm a strong believer in whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I've no doubt I'll be a stronger person once I'm through this.

My darkest moments have been on a Thursday or a Friday when I loose big and I have the whole weekend to get through in terrible form just wanting to sleep and making excuses to people why I've no interest in doing anything. I will never have a weekend like that again. I will write about a lot of those experiences down the line. It's great to get these off my chest to others who have had similar experiences and who are going through this at the moment. I also had good times when I was winning, I thought I was invinceable and my winning streaks went on for so long I thought I had beaten the system. Usual story through. You will loose one day, not just what you have won, but more, and more.

Does anyone else feel like they have totally let themselves down to a point were they don't even like themselves? Before I started gambling I used to often think to myself there is no one else I'd rather be, hope that doesn't sound arrogant but I think everyone has to be happy in themselves to live a happy life. I'd totally lost that. But today I got a wee bit of that back, the old me!! Let's just hope that was only the start.

That's me done for tonight, hope I haven't bored anyone. I like to read other peoples experiences as they have helped me so if I can help even just one person for even just 5 minutes then I will continue my dribble!!

Day 6 has just started!!! What's in store today???

Good luck everyone

Hi

I have felt like I've let myself down hundreds of times. Gambling makes us sick. we become different people. You said that before you started gambling "there is no one else I'd rather be." That person is still there and if you stop gambling all together, the love for yourself will come back.

I'm no expert, I'm only a couple of days gamble free myself but I have had extensive periods of abstinence and happiness doesn't take long to finds it's way back into your life.

It's good that you have a date in your mind for paying off your debt. But at this stage just concentrate on one day at a time & Think about the things in life you are grateful for.

stay strong and keep posting.

Hi Manup,

I think I have an idea about what you feel. Sports betting here as well (combined with a bit of Roulette and Poker gambling took me to a £60k debt in loans and CCs).

We stopped gambling in the same day, let's go together through this trip, which I hope it will last forever. No more gambling, we can beat this!

Hi Altair,

Thanks for your support. It's good to know someone is in the same boat as me and we can beat this together.

How are you getting on today??

I still feel reasonably good today although can't shake the worry of the monthly payments and will I be able to afford them going forward??

How are you coping with paying off your debt??

Well that's nearly day 6 done with and I'm 100% sure I won't gamble today! So bring on day 7 and that's our 1st week done with.

I also lost quite a bit on roulette, in fact £10000 in one sitting!! How can online sites let that happen?? I started at midnight I think while bored in bed as the missus was away somewhere. I thought I could easily will. Usual story £100 led into ££1000 led into £2000 and before I knew it I was about £7500 down. It was 6 o'clock in the morning and was due to leave for work at 8. I thought I could spend another £2500 on tennis which was just starting on TV! 7:45 arrived and is lost!! It was a bad day at work that day.

So it's nearly 1 week down on 103 weeks to go!! Or 724 days!

Westsider,

I liked your comment about that person is still in there. While I'm still lacking confidence I seen a bit more of my old self come out today. I don't think I've had 6 days in a row without gambling in 2 years and it's just good not to be constantly looking at my phone for sporting results and the horror of seeing the player you have backed to win a tennis game being 0-40 down and seeing your wages going down the tubes.

You say your in a couple of days now. How are you coping??

Hi manup75 i read your diary , and well done for how you doing , the bit where you say you lost 10,000 in one sitting that made me feel sick because it brought back memories of when i have lost thousands in one night and i had that sick feeling at the time and so remembering those times again made me feel sick again . although i dont think i have lost as much as 10000 in one sitting but i have lost in total £43,000 which pxsses me off . i understand it is our choice to gamble and if we loose w must accept it but i dont know but there should be some kind of cut off point how much you can spend but in there defence we could then just go onto another site i dont know , but i agree with you how can they let you loose that much in one night , maybe one way ,we gamble our choice , NOT NOW NOT ANYMORE NOT AGAIN , but for gambling in general to be more morral , maybe one way , we gamble our choice , but after loosing 500 or whatever we recieve a phone call just to ask us if we are sure before we deposit anymore , almost like a wake up call , and i know the gambling industrty wouldnt do this but its people lives there messin with and i know yes its our choice to gamble , but just somethin like that after we spent so much or whatever might just help but they still make loads of money but without destroying lives and yes they wouldnt make as much but still make loads , but hey it wouldnt happen , so its you me and everyone else on this site and with the help of gamcare to just look after each other and stay strong and stop this stupidity and over come our addiction , keep going pal , and remember we cannot gamble because we cannot stop , i will not be a victom to this adiction and dont you either , ps dont put pressure on yourself with your debts i did once and that made me impatient and i started gambling again , although that was before i founnd this site , anyway keep your chin up keep strong , and your confidence will come back , and i think your right we will be stronger when we come out the other end . thanks simon

Simon,

Thanks for your post, where money is to be made the gamblings sites are straight onto it. And you are also right it is our choice to gamble but they don't see the carnage it causes to the likes of me and you, most of all the mental torture.

I am trying not to get down about the amount of debt but that's the most difficult part. I'm pretty sure I can stop gambling but I can't stop worrying about the debts!

How long have you stopped gambling for and how are you coping??

manup

Fella welcome to the forum, a place where you will have your resolve to address your addiction bolstered all the time you throw yourself at it.

well done for wanting to stop the ride, it takes great courage to admit you shortfalls, recovery offers you the opportunity to deal with the issues your gambling life has left without the destruction that it waged upon your life.

Debt is just one part of it, please look at the bigger picture, I have experienced many folk here obsess about there debt, make it the main focus of recovery.

What happens when the debt is repaid??

Do you gift yourself a punt to celebrate??

Yes pay the debt, honour the losses you and nobody else made them, but for me the key to continued success is to look at the bigger picture, why did you gamble, deal with the reasons, most of all enjoy the fact that you won't be all the time you arrest the punt add to the debt.

Make a sensible plan to pay off the debt

Talk honestly with your debtors, you may be surprised at how much help is on offer, don't pressure yourself into repayments that are beyond your reach, the outcome could be you run back to the bookies to try and make them

The outcome??

We all know that.

Recovery is truly amazing, it makes us winners

Be kind to yourself

today you did something amazing

Duncs stepping forward never back

Today is day 7!! It will be a full week around 10 o'clock tonight!!

It will be the first time in 2 full years that I haven't had a bet. I know I'm gonna get there.

My phone defiantly has more battery in it this week!! No draining it down on betting sites!!!

Good luck to all out there today

Hey there Manup, it sounds like you have made a lot of progress in a short amount of time. Well done on getting your first week out of the way. For me I think it's so much harder at the beginning, so you've made good progress. We all let gambling change us and turn us into people we didn't ever imagine we would be. But there's a way back for all of us. I've gone over 12 weeks now and I no longer feel like the totally worthless person that I was when I was gambling. This recovery process is far from easy but it's worth the effort as life without gambling presents us with so many fantastic opportunities.

I think Duncan's advice is really good. Don't just focus on the debt, find a realistic timescale to repay it and set yourself some targets. I think it helps our recovery to treat ourselves every now and again. Also get as many barriers in place as possible. Find what works for you, handing over control of your finances to someone else was for me the best thing I've ever done. Keep up the good work, 7 days is a big achievement!

Thanks both to Duncan and born again,

Great advice, and you are both right!!, I know after a month or 2 without gambling my finances will start to be back in order and a massive amount of pressure and worry will be lifted. But just at the minute I'm struggling day to day with finances but I know I'll make it through with everyone's help.

I know the risks with gambling and the massive downers you get after loosing!! The temptation is always there as quite often I've turned a small amount of money into thousands through sports betting but I know the disasterous effect it goes the other way and I could be down thousands so that's what is stopping me, and due to the fact that I'm self excluded from all on-line sites always helps!!!!

Good luck to you both

Congratulations on a week gamble free.

I'm doing well thanks for asking. I need to keep my guard up though because it very easy to think everything is dandy and then the wheels fall off. I'm glad I've got a gambling block on my PC. I probably should get one on my phone. Have you got one? If so what do you use..

It's hard being Skint. I haven't had any positive money to my name for over 6 years. But things will only get worse if we gamble. Because we can't stop.

Thanks Westsider,

I never used the PC to gamble just my phone but I've self excluded from all the sites!! Was gamble free 4 days until last Thursday when an advert came on TV for a site I hadn't used before and 3 hours later I was £680 down!!! I self excluded from that site aswell the next morning. It's so easy to fall into the trap but I'm 100% sure I won't fall into the trap again!!

I don't know of any blockers but I've read quite a few posts on here and a lot of people have mentioned them but can't remember the names of them.

Sorry I couldn't help!!

Good luck