Is there a future ?

Hy Lost my life

I am a recovering CG.

Do you want to stop gambling? Only if you do want to stop, will you have a chance to stop.

I think we all know how you feel. The last 3 years of my gambling days were the worst of my life, and still, every day, I did the same bloody thing, day in, day out. Why? I know why I did it, but do you?

The cycle will continue until you do something to stop it. Your willpower won't prevent you from gambling.

Have you been to GA meetings or seen a counsellor? Have you told any of your family of your problem? Have you tried to limit your access to money?

These are just some of the things that you should be doing to help yourself. Your family can offer you support, GA or counselling can offer both guidance and support. Your situation is not hopeless, unless you do nothing to change the cycle.

You do have a future if you want it.

Best wishes

What is it going to take to make you stop ?

This may sound harsh but you have obviously not yet reached rock bottom. You said on a few occasions over the past couple of years you have reached rock bottom but you havent.

If you keep reopening accounts and gambling you will reach rock bottom and believe me it is horrible. You will lose all of your family, home, friends....... I could go on.

If you had won last night you would not have posted on here again until you had lost these winnings. You are NEVER going to win, no matter how much you win you will gamble it again.

Please take it seriously this time. I dont understand how you manage to gamble if you are taking this seriously, you must limit access to all money, have salary paid into partners account, have NO debit cards or credit cards, close bank account if need be, install gamblock, attend GA, be honest with people, allocate all your time........

There are so many blocks we can put in place but you must want to quit.

I lied and cheated for years, I made out I wanted to quit to keep loved ones happy but deep down I was hoping for the big win. The big win did come and I lost it within a week. 10 years later and tens of thousands in debt I am serious for the first time and have lasted 58 days. I really hope you beat this horrible addiction.

Darren

Great advice you have had there Lost. It really is a choice for you to make. Without making changes to how you deal with your addiction nothing will ever change.

I understand it seems daunting & overwhelming to step away from something that makes all your problems disappear for a short while. This is where GA or counselling can help you. It will offer you new solutions on how to cope with life without addictions soothing comfort blanket.

You have a choice, continue to keep trying to do it your way(& that hasnt worked out too well so far) or accept others may have a better solution for you.

Stop searching for reasons why things wont work & start trying new things that just might

Hi there Lost, glad you have come back, and don't you worry about posting anything negative or otherwise on my diary, it no problem at all, I just wished I could take your pain away, but you know only you can do this.

As Dan has said you have already been given some good advice, abstaining is the only way to go forwards for us.

100% commitment from yourself Lost, putting every block and barrier in place, GA meetings, but you must really want this otherwise it won't happen my friend. I tried so many times to stop and because I did not committ 100% and be honest with myself and my OH and my sons, I could not stop. Yes for a week or even two at a time, but the addiction was still very much at the front, because I had not changed one thing to stop gambling.I know I keep repeating this but nothing changes if nothing changes.

You have my unconditional support Lost, but you have to do this yourself and you will with support and 100% commitment, make this your time now to change your life, recovery is the only way we can go forwards to a proper life.

Take care and keep posting.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for all the advice, I have had 20 sessions with a counsellor and it still did not stop me gambling. I had savings for my pension which I have butchered. I kept saying no lower then I would play the fotb's and build up to £K3 over five weeks say, so I was able to put back more savings from my salary than usual by playing the fotb's. However i just cannot accept losing on roulette in anyway, bookies (i have self-excluded from so many - yet a car drive of four miles ..............) on-line (removed k9 blocker) casino (only four miles away). I guess i just could not accept losing £..,000.00 pounds - just kept going back - winning a bit - its tragic really five years ago I said no lower than £..,000.00 and now £75,000.00 pounds lost. They say you have to reach rock bottom to re-alise, I hope I am there. Thanks to you all for posting and offering advice, I need to stop, I want to stop.

Your still clinging onto the belief that gambling is a solution that can work for you despite everything in your history telling you thats not going to work. Even the machine your playing on tells you that you will lose. Your believing your lie that skill & good judgement on a completely FIXED ODDS BETTING TERMINAL will solve your financial woes. It wont. Accept your beaten.

I saw no mention of handing over financial control. Blocking software that you dont have the password to. GA meetings. Trying a different counsellor. Complete honesty with those around you. Try something new

Hi Paul,

This is just me, but I think you will know when you have reached your rock bottom, and I sincerely hope its now because it will keep taking more and destroying you more, mentally, physically, until you have absolutely nothing to give anymore.

I know it is so very hard to let go of big losses, but we have to, to move on, just let thst money go, it's not going to come back,once you resign to this, you are well on the way to recovery, sort a debt plan out again(if you have already done one) I changed mine at least 3 times, tiny small steps and don't look to far ahead and don't look back, it's so hard but it can be achieved.

Can someone take over your money so you have no access to it,

Suzanne xxx

Hi Suzanne, thanks for your support - you are a top lady - today has been very tough, I know now because my funds are so low I cannot risk any-more gambling (thats the reality of it - lack of funds - i don't have any debt or loans fortunately, they scare me senseless) No-one can take control of my funds, i live alone, I only see my partner at week-ends, when I first confessed to her two years ago she managed them for a while, but found the endless scrutnity of my bank wearing. I confessed maybe five/six times to her stating in August last year I had so much money (which is actually twice what i have now) she accepted my statement, but said anymore gambling our relationship is over .................... Its second time around for both of us and I really care for her ............. but not enough to stop the gambling till I had nearly lost it all why oh why did I start on roulette. I never gambled until 5/6 years ago . I am 58. I have completely f....d my financial future.

Paul,

You say that debt frightens you, but my dear if you don't take steps NOW you will be in so much debt, you won't believe it.

That will become a different rock bottom believe me when you can't get any more funds from borrowing or stealing, I don't want you to go there, it is hell, because all you think about is getting more money to get out of debt, if you carry on gambling the addiction will totally consume you of any money.

Now is the time to stop before you get into debt, I know you are thinking about your future, but if you carry on your future will be a 100% bleaker. The good news is you are not in debt please keep it that way, it's taken me 11 months to just pay off those horrible PD loans, I still have long term debt around 23000 and it will take forever to pay off, and I am not a spring chicken either

lol, you can do this for you, your future and your partners future you deserve this.

PS have bumped your diary up, incase you want to use it

Suzanne xxx

You make a lot of sense Suzanne, I need really need to beat this problem, accept whats gone is gone, i have been to work to-day how i got through it I do not know, so gonna make my way home now, thanks for being there for me, its no fun being so down and on your own. Catch you later or tomorrow.

Ok Paul, am here for you, whenever, don't beat yourself up too much, it's a horrible addiction/illness and every time you come back you are making progress and you will get there.

Take care and try not to think too much tonight.

Suzanne xxx

What are you going to do different this time ?

Previous methods/blocks have failed so you need to have a new strategy

i'm not sure darren, fear is beginning to mess with me, fear of being unable to cope with daily finances, so I guess fear for now.

Morning Gamcare, I started ten years ago this week in my current job, where the position of the company geographically initially started my gambling life (a small broken north-west english town filled now with bookies and take-aways), i was asked yesterday what steps i am going to take to stop this downward spiral to bankruptcy. Today I now have a card attached to pc screen looking at me which says ' Apr'2005 savings £K.., Apr'2015 savings £K.., (Reduction due to incessant and ridiculous gambling) Its looking at me now and will be every hour of every working day). Feeling like utter s..t as I re-alise my gambling life is at an end and there is no way I can ever re-cover what I have lost, I can't feel like this forever.