Is there a future ?

You somehow need to forget what has gone. The danger of having a constant reminder is that you might want to try and win this back. Its a really hard one to call, others might think its a good idea.

Maybe have a picture of something that is a reward for staying off the gambling, picture of your partner perhaps ???

If you get back to the gambling then bankruptcy will be least of your problems, you will lose everything 🙁

As said yesterday please consider giving control of money to somebody else and be completely honest.

Good luck

Hi Paul

sorry you are in a bad place again. Me too now think we must stop and look forward. We cannot keep looking back at what we have lost. : (

Hi Gary, thanks for your post, i will catch up with you over forthcoming weeks, cant post over easter holidays (at girlfriends) how I will get through it without appearing utterly miserable i don't know.

Paul, sorry I have not got back sooner been really busy and having an unusual day so far.

Listen you are probably not going to like this but I have to be honest with you to help you,

It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself friend, that will never change one thing, it's time to accept what you have done and let go, because if you don't you will be back here again and in debt. I know you say you can't tell your girlfriend or anybody, but believe me it is one of the first steps to move forwards, if you really want to stop, you will not be able to do this on your own without any support or more important being honest with those that share your life,

Your Easter will only be miserable if you choose it to be, last Easter for me was a total blurr, I can't even remember it, I really can't,

This addiction is hard to let go of, but feeling sorry for yourself will make it worse, it will thrive on everything you are, until you are really rock bottom, and that is not a place you want to go to.

You are not in debt (yet) keep it that way, think of the things you have and not of what you have lost through gambling, because believe me if you continue to gamble your losses now will be nothing to what you will have.

I wished I had stopped before I got into debt and lost half of my family (my brothers) think positive now, and do everything you can to stop gambling. Honesty with yourself, your loved ones, and get every available help out there, be it GA counsilling whatever, you have the choice Paul, don't make my mistakes,

Suzanne xxx

Suzanne, thanks for fantastic support, i know i have to let go (part of me is accepting that to-day, and that is while i feel so awful, knowing the funds are never coming back) its heart-renching to have worked for a financial stress free life and thrown it away - nothing to show for the spending of your money - not even a half-decent car.I know in time if i stop gambling i will get and feel better - one day at a time they say. one day ..................................... catch u next week. Enjoy the caravan - Paul

Hi Paul,

Keep strong and determined over the weekend and win, you will feel sooo much better next week,

Take care.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Lost, just noticed your last post to Suzanne & thought I'd drop by!

I know you didn't ask me for my advice but I have read your diary & implore you to draw a line under your losses! I tried to stop gambling on a daily basis before coming here & couldnt figure it out until I stopped chasing! You need to be honest with yourself & reconsider how much winning you actually did! Your diary reads like you did it before so there's no reason why you can't do it again but there is because you are a CG so you cannot win because you cannot stop. These 'wins' have only ever been gambling tokens! You asked how to live with the guilt but what option do you have? Co-exist with your addiction in recovery looking to the future or blast yourself back into oblivion with gambling until you have nothing. If you don't keep fighting, it won't be house repairs you are worrying about, it will be finding next months rent!

Don't underestimate the addiction...Pat yourself on the back for getting into recovery & keep on fighting! It will get easier!

Stay strong - ODAAT

Afternoon Paul,

Looks like your Easter weekend turned out better than you thought it would. Mine was very quiet too quiet lol. Had to keep busy so my mind did not wander and the lovely weather helped.

To be honest I am coming up to a year of not having gambled, but I am not over it mentally, it cut very deep, all the carnage etc, if I ever forget over it all mentally it sure would be a big weight lifted from me, I have/am learning to live and accept what I have done, because I have no other choice and I am being kinder to myself as each day goes by, what we have done was ridiculous and utter madness, but this was the addiction controlling us, I have learnt to live along side with it, accept it and because my recovery is stronger than the addiction, gamblng does not beckon me too often, Gambling was one solution to my problems in life, I have got rid of some of my problems by change, but because I gambled it presented a bigger problem on its own,

We have choices in life and gambling was an awful choice we made, but we can now make right choices to not make the situation even worse, through recovery we slowly but surely make the right choice, we will never ever get our losses back, the stakes got way too high and drowned us.

Accept what has happened and move on, it's the only way Paul.

Stay strong, each day slightly gets easier with your thoughts.

Suzanne xxx

Lost my life wrote:

Suzanne, thanks for fantastic support, i know i have to let go (part of me is accepting that to-day, and that is while i feel so awful, knowing the funds are never coming back) its heart-renching to have worked for a financial stress free life and thrown it away - nothing to show for the spending of your money - not even a half-decent car.I know in time if i stop gambling i will get and feel better - one day at a time they say. one day ..................................... catch u next week. Enjoy the caravan - Paul

Hope this is the end of your gambling journey

Like ODAAT says don't under estimate how much worse gambling can get

Hey Paul, you have put a big smile on my face because if I can be of help to anyone, to help them overcome gambling, it makes me feel worthwhile posting to others on here, I know sometimes I just say well done and keep going but it's people like you, me and plenty of others that love getting this simple support, I know I do, and that has truly helped me to get nearly one year gamble free.

Walking with you all the way Psul on this bloody hard road.

Suzanne xxx

Morning diary been reading an old thread of mine, so much truth in here from great gamcare contributors wish I had listened all those years ago x the basic pitch of all comments on the thread is let go the losses move on x that is so hard for me x but I won’t gamble again x never never never x I am in too much internal anguish to risk another penny to gambling x so here goes another day of my poor life is about to begin x

Hi Lost my life

This is just to let you know that we're moving this thread to Recovery Diaries, as it's become less of an introduction and more of a diary thread. Keep posting,

Best wishes

Forum Admin