is there any more to lose?

Day 8.0
Things are ticking by OK. But the real challenges lie ahead. Pay day is merely three days away. I haven't abstained from gambling on that particular day of each month for God knows how long. All it takes is a split second walking past a betting shop and I will get a nervous/excited sensation.
I have noticed that once more the voids left by not gambling has me wanting to replace it with something else which gives me a buzz. I am reminescing about a past lover frequently. But other than that, I feel that by keeping my head down and working is enabling me to roll along day by day so far.

Day 9.0

I had a text on my phone reminding me that I have a payday loan outstanding which I forgot about and did not take into account when looking at what I owed. That now leaves me with an extra £150 I need to find for next month. And once I do that I will have the grand total of £0 to spend on food and petrol. Also, I have not had my haircut in 3 months already.

Short answer to thread title...yes!

Lost another £5.40 I had in loose change I found in my desk drawer. That could have paid for A WEEK'S food next month. I am crazy. It's official.

That's really grim and I do feel for you but you got to help yourself. I'm far from a saint. I'm messed up so many times but you've got to get your s-h-one-t together. Time to do a u turn and move in the right direction. I wish you the very best but you've got to do something very different. Good luck.

​come on 28 you can do it. I know how you feel re the unexpected expense. I budgeted for this month now I've stopped gambling and thought id just about got enough to live on. I then got a 100 quid parking fine out the blue!! It nearly derailed me cos gambling said I should try and win it back.

Im 11 days clean now and still doing it tough but every day clean gives you a bit more head space

​

Day 1 (yet again)

Dinner and breakfast has consisted of biscuits from the office. I should write a book. It is unbelievable someone who is earning an above average wage in a developed country is living in poverty like this. It is all my own doing though so I have to get on with fixing it. There is no shortcut sadly. Just a tough, long, lonely road ahead. Today I am back on that road taking another first step.

Hey black,

Don't be so hard on yourself, by reading your posts believe it or not you are on the way in your recovery, it's trial and error, and for some of us, it takes a lot of error to get there. you can get through this and you can do this,

It's horrible to not have any money not even 5 bloody pence to our name, remember this time now and take a positive from it however small the positive is, and that could be you won't be feeling like this next month if you just don't feed it anymore.

Time to look after you now, time to turn a corner and start winning your life back, your choice I know it's hard but it is definitely possible xx

Take care I understand the frustration and anger and desperation of not having even 5 pence to my name,

Suzanne xx

Thank you for your post Suzanne. Today I feel OK. I have been at my girlfriend's all weekend. We stayed in and had a few laughs and watched TV and I cooked so we didn't have to spend anything. I have an unexpected birthday invite for next week. Everybody in my family will be in attendance. I don't think I can say no but I have no money for a present....or even a card!

I survived pay day. There were very brief fleeting moments where I had the urge to have a small flutter. Maybe stick twenty pounds in the machine or have a dabble on the football. All it took was a split second for the idea to enter my head and the pulse would quicken and the heart would race. Fortunately I ignored those impulses and the thoughts went away. First pay day in years which has been gamble-free.

Half of my wages have all gone already. All towards debt interest and payday loans. Scary.