It has to be now

Hi Dave

These machines will soon disappear but you need to put a strategy in place otherwise you will just try to gamble on other things. Drop by my diary and read the Allen Carr points - it was a game changer for me.

Take care.

Shaun

Hi Shaun,

Many thanks for your comment and for directing me to your own diary, i must say i find it most inspirational. I especially like the points about liberating ourselves rather than withdrawing or missing out on anything. Gambling is, as you point out, an elaborate ruse- A CON.

Its hard for me to find the right words for my journey with gambling at this stage. I know a lot of people have fallen into the trap because of life changing events and the subsequent stress of dealing with them- for me this just isn't the case. I grew up in a happy household with two wonderful parents and 3 loving siblings.

I have taken the day off work today to reflect after discovering this forum yesterday and crying my eyes out at a diary called Charly by Sabine. I believe i began to suffer with anxiety and depression at around 19-20 years old. I had been mugged age 18 and had my teeth knocked out and suffered with the stress of what this had done to my appearance- I also broke up with a girl I truly and deeply loved around this stage too and turned to smoking weed and occasionally drinking and gambling to deal with my own anxieties and insecurities i guess.

Fast forward a decade and whilst my life is not quite a trainwreck my heart is heavy with the thoughts of where I could be today had i lived the last decade differently. I often suffer with procrastinating- not good for someone self employed and with various debts- and sometimes spend a week not leaving the house and generally feeling sorry for myself.

what makes this worse is when I look at things logically I have no need to feel sorry for myself and this heightens my feelings of sadness. I am currently of good health, live with a girl I love, have two wonderful parents, a beautiful neice and nephew, siblings who i get along with, 3 best friends of 19 years strong as well as mates and acquatainces.

When my head is working properly and I am happy all these blessings give me immense strength and happiness, however when I feel down or have one of my bad weeks I can often feel worse because I realise how lucky I have been with my lot and focus on how crappy I have been to mess things up.

Sorry all for the essay but it has been so good to finally get these thoughts out of my head

Have a great day

Dave

Hi Dave,
Just read your diary. Let's do a quick break down of the blessings you do have. You have a good life, so glad you got a girl you love. That's a good foundation right there. Build on it, you got plenty of life to be had yet. Just draw the line say I have had my fun times, time to make happy memories with your girl, family and friends without gambling. Log in daily, we will support you.

Day one is a big step to day 2. You can do it Dave.

See you tomorrow.
Bella xx

Reading Shaun's pages helped me, especially getting the book Allen Carr. Can get it on audio to.

DrDave wrote:

Hi Shaun,

Many thanks for your comment and for directing me to your own diary, i must say i find it most inspirational. I especially like the points about liberating ourselves rather than withdrawing or missing out on anything. Gambling is, as you point out, an elaborate ruse- A CON.

Its hard for me to find the right words for my journey with gambling at this stage. I know a lot of people have fallen into the trap because of life changing events and the subsequent stress of dealing with them- for me this just isn't the case. I grew up in a happy household with two wonderful parents and 3 loving siblings.

I have taken the day off work today to reflect after discovering this forum yesterday and crying my eyes out at a diary called Charly by Sabine. I believe i began to suffer with anxiety and depression at around 19-20 years old. I had been mugged age 18 and had my teeth knocked out and suffered with the stress of what this had done to my appearance- I also broke up with a girl I truly and deeply loved around this stage too and turned to smoking weed and occasionally drinking and gambling to deal with my own anxieties and insecurities i guess.

Fast forward a decade and whilst my life is not quite a trainwreck my heart is heavy with the thoughts of where I could be today had i lived the last decade differently. I often suffer with procrastinating- not good for someone self employed and with various debts- and sometimes spend a week not leaving the house and generally feeling sorry for myself.

what makes this worse is when I look at things logically I have no need to feel sorry for myself and this heightens my feelings of sadness. I am currently of good health, live with a girl I love, have two wonderful parents, a beautiful neice and nephew, siblings who i get along with, 3 best friends of 19 years strong as well as mates and acquatainces.

When my head is working properly and I am happy all these blessings give me immense strength and happiness, however when I feel down or have one of my bad weeks I can often feel worse because I realise how lucky I have been with my lot and focus on how crappy I have been to mess things up.

Sorry all for the essay but it has been so good to finally get these thoughts out of my head

Have a great day

Dave

Keep focusing on what's good. Write it down, here or a book. Then on a bad day log back in and read what you written. It's tough even day 82. But it gets easier.

Thankyou so much for the kind words and advice Bella it really is appreciated. I feel as though the first few days will actually be the easiest as i lost £345 in two bookies sessions on Wednesday and Thursday. I won £200 Wednesday night gambling on slots but it is still a loss of £145 and that will be fresh in my mind for the next few days. Its making it through the next weeks months and years that i know will be the struggle as I have wanted to quit permanently for the best part of a decade.

Congratulations on day 82- almost at the 3 month mark and the chance to have a completely gamble free 2019!

Kindest regards

Dave

Hi DAVE

Some good advice from Bella.

One key point I would like to add is that when disaster strikes or you have a setback in life, we mustn’t turn to gambling as in the long run our problems will only be magnified. Bella has had the upheaval of moving house as well as an injury but she didn’t turn to gambling, she is doing great.

Keep your head up, you have got this sussed!

Shaun

Day 3

Been a hard weekend to be honest harder than I thought. Since focusing on stopping I have thought about playing more often. Am waiting for the £200 from Wednesday to clear into my account and will then use Gamstop to help put a blocker on the sites can only be a good thinking.

Am working through other things in my life too, trying to alleviate procrastination and eat cleaner. Trying not to focus on regrets of the past or get too anxious about the future. One day at a time

I will not gamble today

Dave

DrDave wrote:

Day 3

Been a hard weekend to be honest harder than I thought. Since focusing on stopping I have thought about playing more often. Am waiting for the £200 from Wednesday to clear into my account and will then use Gamstop to help put a blocker on the sites can only be a good thinking.

Am working through other things in my life too, trying to alleviate procrastination and eat cleaner. Trying not to focus on regrets of the past or get too anxious about the future. One day at a time

I will not gamble today

Dave

Hi Dave
That's good focus on something else, eating healthy is good, do a online diary like myfitnesspal download the app. Gather up likeminded friends on that forum that are striving for a better body, don't need to gamble to fit in. I love art, I have been a artist for gone to soon soldiers, done canvases etc. Sold digital artwork. There's plenty you can do, do you like photography or drawing? That kind of thing. Fill your time with stuff to keep you busy with.

It's mind-boggling isn't it. How we as intelligent as we believe we are, get stuck on a slot machine, be it visual or reality it still keeps our focus locked in. But you will be at day 7 soon, and tomorrow is a day closer.
Chat tomorrow I am typing with one eye shut as the antibiotics drops in my eye making my eye like glue lol!
Goodnight lovely.
Bella xx

Hi Bella,

Thanks for the kind words as always! How is your eye now any better?

It is mind boggling you are right light being stuck in the matrix or something- trying not to think how much has been lost over the decade- too much that's for sure.

I've never been a big art person I just don't have the eye or hand for it lol. What you are doing sounds amazing though

Hope you had a refreshing sleep

All the best

Dave

Hi Dave, welcome to the forum 🙂

Just wanted to say that feeling part of something when you were hanging around that roulette wheel as a youngster is extremely common & you may find GA gives you a similar sense of community only with a purpose! Procrastination is up there with the most common traits of addicts & it’s something I continue to struggle with although where I’m concerned it’s just a posh word for lazy.

I didn’t take the day off of work & cry because of that particular diary but I spent 3 awful days under the duvet with the enormity of accepting I had a problem...Getting “stuck” in your house is a by-product of this illness as addiction isolates & steals our motivation for life.

Well done on finding your way here & accepting that you need to stop gambling! You will eventually come to realise that this isn’t a money problem & not all addicts come from broken places, sometimes the trauma that you suffered (so sorry to hear about the mugging) is enough to cause people to seek a pain relief which is effectively what addiction gives us. All the money in the world doesn’t make people happy and neither does loving friends & family...You need to learn how to process having people that care for you & vice versa, in a healthy way. You do deserve them, you’re not a bad person, you just got caught up in a vicious process called addiction & it’s ok to not feel happy all the time despite having “so much”. If not GA, please call the helpline & get yourself some counselling! I tried to read myself better & I’m not going to lie, it really did help me with my abstinence but this just bought my feelings back after years of feeling numb or ungrateful & the rewiring of my crazy brain has only really started since I joined GA.

Keep reaching out & supporting others (I’ve yet to find anyone who turned their life around without it), living in the now makes life way more manageable - ODAAT

Hi Dave

Here is to the start of another week gamble free, just keep temptation at bay and the gamble free days will soon mount up. Keep going you are doing great.

Shaun

Thanks for your post on my new diary Dave.

Keep going take all the advice you can and resist and desist!

Lots of support and great people on here in your corner.

Thanks for all the support guys means a lot. This site really is terrific!

Had to pop into town today and past the bookies where I lost few hundred quid on the roulette last week. Felt both stupid and determined not to make the same mistakes again!

Here's to another gf day

Have a good one guys

All the best

Hi Dave, just wanted to pop by and say hello. I'm struggling at the moment and so finding solace in reading this site! Glad you’ve managed your first few days! Keep it up!