I've been addicted to online gambling games for about 4 years now. I've tried to limit what I gamble but not stop but the problem is once I'm gambling the limits go out of the window and I just want to gamble continuously. And if I have deposited the maximum in one site then I just go onto another or even join a new site.
It's not just the money I've lost through my addiction, it's also the time and the trust of my family.
I've been on Gamcare before but could only admit that I have a problem not an addiction. And it appeared to me that I could only get help once I'd stopped gambling which is daft I know but that's what I thought.
Well I spoke to a Gamcare adviser last week who has referred me to a counsellor and also given me tips to limit my gambling in the meanwhile.
I've self excluded from all my sites except 2, I know I should have self excluded from all of them but I just can't do that at the moment. And I'm not going to lie about it either cos I know that will only make me want to stop getting help cos I'd feel ashamed.
I've installed Betfilter on my main computer. I need to put something on my phone which I will do when I feel ready to.
I've gotten my partner to update my online banking account so only he knows the password, which means I can't tranfer money to my brothers gambling account and gamble on there, which I do a lot.
I've signed up for the Race for Life on 22 May so that will give me the incentive to train for it and be a distractin from gambling (and help me shift the extra 2.5 stone I'm carrying).
So that's it for now. I'll admit I gambled last night but could only deposit £20 because of the limits and self exclusion I'd done earlier. Which is a small win for me (if you excuse the pun).
One thing I didn't realise was how tired I've been feeling because I've been putting so much time and effort into gambling so haven't slept properly in years. I went to bed at 9 last night then woke up at 3 and gambled till 4 then have slept till 7 and I feel really well rested which is great.
I'm going to try give updates as I go along and although I know I'll have set backs I hope they don't stop me from a total recovery from this addiction.
To all you out there who are in the grip of a gambling addiction I wish you well and hope, like me, you make the first/second/third etc move to get the help you so desperately need and definitely deserve.
Margy
Hello Margy
Great that you have started a recovery diary and have taken so many steps to work towards stopping. Just wondering how you are now, a week on?
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Best wishes
Forum Admin
Hi...welcome...great place for help and support...like you I was sucked into those vile slots....but....fast forward 40 plus days of no gambling..lots of tears...stress...heartache...etc...and I feel great...ok. ..long way to go yet...but it can happen....if you want it to....good luck...come join us girls on here whenever you can....it will help xxx
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