Hi . I can't believe I am doing this to my partner family and myself again I started gambling about 6years ago but stopped for3years .but started up about9 months ago.I got so deeply into debt my family and partner had to be told .thay didn't understand but helped me sort out the money side of things..and was very supportive but I did it again3 months ago and had to get help from the people who I promised before that I wouldn't let them down again..but hear I am going through the same things I started gambling about a week ago and I think I am getting right down again .I can't figure out if it's the fact that I am doing this again or the guilty part about keeping secrets again or the fact I might lose everything this time..how can I ask my partner to forgive me again I feel i have already put them through too much but this sick felling u get when you are waiting to get fond out is keeping me awake I think I must have slept 16 hours in the last4day .keep thinking I can control this just can't think of any thing more than should I tell them or hope they don't know and I can stay on track with the help of this site ..not doing the same things again this is my promise to myself I am going to kick this with a little help from the professional ..ty
Hi I'm sorry about your story,it hits home to me because it's the same sort of cycles and feelings I've been going through,where as all my past episodes I've only confessed or come forward when there's been noway out or I have taken it as far as it can go before I get found out.this time I knew things were starting to get bad and like you I felt the guilt of the secrets and the worry of being here again and possibly losing everyone and I decided I need to confess before things have gone too far and not only that but instead of being told to get help I set out to get help off my own back such as register for counselling and signing up for this site,self excluding myself from all bet sites etc,to show that this time I'm not stopping because I have to but because I'm serious and I really want to,I don't know if any of this might help you in anyway but it's worked for me,I wish you all the best.
Thank's for your comment.it's a good start to get on to a site like this I hope it's going to help me .I really don't think I can handle going through this again.but to see so many people trying and supporting strangers it was good for my state of mind so I hope you know I am a stranger that you can say it all too coz I no that no matter what we tell our loved ones it's not all u just can't.for one thing they don't know what you feel like inside..ur telling them and promising not to let them down thing's u know you might not be able to keep to but ur trying to make them better..but on here it's different we all feel like this hope you have the courage to get it all out I can tell u from experience it's got to be done to get on to the next step and then the next step is not so lonely sorry for going on a bit but just giving myself a talking to ty for listening
Well good day .still not sure if I should tell about my gambling last week.but I am not thinking of going back on to that rollercoaster of messed up again felling silly hate myself pittypart I can handle this one problem at a time ....it's just I can't figure out what problem is first to get sorted is it stain of the sits .getting on hear as much as I can...to help with that..or is it coming clean with my partner and seeing the disappointment on his face .or maybe just not telling him and hopefully he will never know but I will ...
Sorry to jump on chat I just need to get it off my chest I'm 23 been gambling since 18 I'm now 23 started in the bookies with £20 £30 here and there winning £50 on the machines no real problem . It's when I won big in the casino 2 yrs ago around £6k from £200 on roulette blackjack but the money is irrelevant . I done the right thing cleared any debt and bought a car it was when it got written off by someone jumping a red light that it all started to spiral outta control I think I got 2 cheques from my insurance spaced out by 2 wks instead of waiting I decided to spin it up in the casino before I knew it one cheque gone I promised myself that was it and I would take it on the chin and be happy with just the next cheque and that's it but no I lost that aswell I felt sick to the pit of my stomach from having everything it seemed to nothing my parents are constant hoping I stop but they are giving up as I just go into self destruct I live in my own due to moving out because my gambling was causing friction between my parents they have had to lend me rent in the past as I've done the lot . I've been better recently I now know never to go anywhere near my rent money again but it's my birthday today and as I'm writing this I've got these kids feeling off having to sit at a family meal later hoping that my mum and dad don't ask for the £10 they lent me as my gambling is once again going to ruin everything I've been skint since last payday and I promised myself I'd stop and put all my money towards the trip to New York I've paid for on the 2nd of November last night I don't all my wages in the local casino from little bets to the self destruct and all or nothing mode and now I'm dredding anyone asking when I'm going to buy the coat people have put money towards there are so many things that will mean my gambling addiction will once again be at the centre of the room . I get paid again next week so I will still have money for my holiday just not as much as I once hoped I just need support on things I can do to rebuild my life and my reputation as at the movement all I'm known as is ther gambler and desperately want that reputation to change any advice would greatly be received
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