Last Gamble 30th August 2009

Hi Jim

Well done on your progress - lottery is a difficult one. I personally do not have a problem with doing the lottery can do a couple of quid a week and that it - but then again for some others it can be a start of a slippery slope again so really think this is your call. Keep us informed on your progress

Georgette

Day 23.

Thanks for the encouragement. I had a lovely weekend gambling free. A few thoughts of gambling, but they passed.

In the past.... I would often loose a fortune on a Monday afternoon... fobt's probably. But not today.

I hate lying to people I love, because of gambling. I hate this addiction.

I hope you are all doing ok.

Jim

Day 24,

Am doing pretty well, I had a good day in work and am home chilling out. A bit worried about the weekend as I am about to get paid and am going out on the beer this weekend, need to be very careful, I will just take cash with me and try and keep my wits about me.

Anyway musn't get ahead of myself, I have tonight and tomorrow to go yet, I will not gamble just for me.

Cheers, Jim

Hi Jim,

Well done on your gambling free time.

I think you say it for yourself. What i find when out for a few beers is not to take any cash/debit/credit cards with me. This means that if I did gamble what cash I had in my pocket, i'd have a cr** night not being able to buy drinks etc. I find its a natural psychological barrier not to gamble in the frst place.

I guess its just a natural extension of only having access to what money you actually need. All the best in recovery.. S.A 🙂

Hi SA,

Sounds like sound advice to me....thank you.

I have a slight problem in that I owe a friend some cash..... quite a bit, which I intend to pay back tomorrow, so I need to get the cash and deliver it to him, means carrying a card at some point. I will need to pay my friend and leave my card with him - that'll should do it.

Anyway Day 25 was good, looking forward to a good 'gambling free' night out with friends tomorrow, it has been a very long time. It is a big step for me too, as it is my most vulnerable time but as SA advise the secret is only having the money in my pocket.

Thank you GamC.

Jim.

Day 28 - Made it to 4 weeks.

Had a great night out on Friday, didn't gamble but decided against paying mt friend back as I didn't feel confident carrying my card on pay day with drink too, so I will pay him back today when sober.

Chuffed at making 4 weeks, I will not gamble today.

Thanks, JIm

Hi Jim

The better the quality of your daily recovery the sooner you get quantity. The days will mount up if you keep doing the right things. No gambling today is great. There's none for me too.

Take care

Steve E

Day 30.

I still haven't gambled - which is good. Went out last night - not drinking but kept on the wagon. Happy Days.

Jim

Day 31

Once today is over I will have gone a whole calendar month without gambling! Yaay, September 2009 Jim (Dazzler) didn't gamble.

It hasn't been as tough this time as it has on previous attempts. I think there are a couple of reasons for this.... I would like to think that this time I have cracked it but truthfully I think the big loss that predefined this recovery has focused my attention and I was pretty skint for the first couple of weeks, which gave me a good head start.

On the positive side, 1)I am Self Excluded from my convenient haunts. 2) I have been logging on here on a regular basis for support. 3) I have changed my behaviour, time I go for a beer, where I go etc. 4) I don't carry cash that I don't need; or any atm cards at all.

The only fear I have is complacency.... I gave up once previously for quite a long time.... best part of a year and then one day, I was going with my wife to watch a rugby match and thought a small bet won't hurt but with time I got dragged back to the bottom - where I started.

I knew when I started that recovery, that my personality would not allow me even the smallest of bets, so the million dollar question is "How did I forget that it (a bet however small) was going to destroy me?"

1) I stopped posting on GamCare.

2) I wasn't self excluded from local bookies.

3) I had destroyed a personal diary, which I used as a constant reminder/support.

4) I made funds available, got my cards back, either subconsciously or through complacency - I am not sure which.

The point I am trying to make to myself is.

I know I have a gambling problem and that if I gamble that one small bet - it will result in devastation for me, my family and my finances. It is not acceptable for me to say one small bet won't hurt as history shows that it has and will hurt.

Learn from my mistakes, take one day at a time and I will get there. I hate this addiction but it is I who has fed it and kept it and created what it is. So it is me who is going to face it, starve it and leave it behind me.

I will not gamble today!

Jim

well done Jim,

i too have enjojed my first gamble free month

was very good of you to recognise danger of taking your card that night to pay back your friend in the past i have had to do similar things and would often give work mates my cash or cards when i was going to be in a tricky position with time on my hands..... only one ever refused to hold it for me and i did end up gambling with works money that day....but that is all past now.

stay strong and enjoy your recovery

chris

Day 32 - I will not gamble today.

Jim

Keep it going Jim. Day 32 well done. They soon fly by. Just take them nice n steady. I never believed in the one day at a time I wanted everything yesterday. Now 6 months later and listening to that cliched mantra I'm in a fantastic place. Well done stay strong and keep smiling. Thanks for the post on my diary. They help me understand where I have been and also that I am not alone trying to beat this. 🙂

Day 33 = Weekend tomorrow.

I had a good week, didn't want to gamble apart from a couple of min's in bed one morning but i soon put myself straight. but The weekend is my concern, my weakest time, but I will be focused and will make it.

Be strong.

Jim

Day 34 Saturday.

Planning my day at the mo, walk with the wife and breakfast in a cafe is first and then shopping I think - not my most fav past time, but I love spending tie with her so it will be good. Friends are out for beers tonight, but I am going to tag along - soft drinks only for me tonight as it is safer i think...we'll see all the normal precautions are in place, no card, minimal cash, no id so I can't get money from the local branch of the bank, self excluded from everywhere close... these and some will power will get me through.

[deep breath] I will not gamble today!

I just remembered... i had a dreamm about gambling last night and woke up thinking f**k no - how much did you loose last night? I have often had that feeling after going out drinking the night before (sometimes a hell of alot of money has been lost just a few pi55ed hours earlier).

But this time it dawned on me nothing - you lost nothing - you stayed in -- all you had was a Chinese, I fell back to sleep easily.

I think this is why I must be thinking of not drinking tonight, I didn't remember the dream but it is the only reason I can think of.?.

Still, I will not gamble today.