Lets Try This Again

Welcome and good luck on ur journey, for me bookies started to be a problem so after many failed attempts at going to town I opted to after I paid bills transfer all money left to my dad.... Five years later I still do as it works for me and I know my money is safe....

All the best adam

@adam123 thanks Adam. That sounds like a great idea. I’m still weighing up involving the family yet but will be sure to keep it in mind. 

Andy

Hi Andy.

5 days free from gambling and being in pain.

Clean days can not be lost.

I think from experience writing a diary and getting to understand our self is very healthy.

Understanding my emotions and my feelings got me to focus on healthy solutions.

I have a XL spread sheet keeping all accounts of all of our the receipts.

I have done this for many decades and it helps me understand how my bills each month.

Having an appointment with the Doctors is looking after your self well done.

For me it is very healthy to share my healthy and unhealthy experiences with like minded individuals and also to keep myself accountable.

I use to be so nervous and lacked so much confidence.

Thanks you sharing your experiences.

Love and peace to every on

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

@gadaveuk thanks Dave. 

So today marks one full week GF. How can I describe this week? Emotional. Been beating myself up a lot this week after the realisation of what I have done has hit home. The amount of shame and regret is unbelievable. I hate myself as a person right now but I will not take failure as an option and I will conquer this demon.

Have a good day everyone.

Andy 

Hi

Every day not in an addiction or obsession means we are not hurting our self.

A full week GF is a good week.

The recovery program is about healing our hurt inner child from the pains of our past.

It is unhealthy beating our self up and living in guilt shame regret, the pains of our past, the idea of recovery is healing pains not beating our self up.

There is simply nothing I can say or do to change the past, was I very unhealthy, yes, did I hurt myself yes, sadly often I could not accept that simple fact.

There is every chance that people I hurt will forgive me long before I forgive myself.

Learn from the pains of the past do not live in them.

Being honest to or self is healthy, not healthy to keep causing our self more pains. 

For me having hate in myself indicated that I was not able to heal my pains.

In recovery I would understand that in time I would make healthier choices and even learn to like the hurt inner child in me.

Love and peace to every on

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

@gadaveuk Hi Dave, i hadn't thought of it like that, but i agree with you, a full week, although small in the grand scheme of things, is somewhat of an achievement. I am 100% committed to doing this. Maybe one day i can learn to forgive myself. I will just take it one day at a time.

Thanks mate

Andy

@marco1 Hi Marco, i believe life can only get better, it cant get any worse for me. The only way is up. Good luck with your journey.

Take care

Andy

@andy-gez 

Hi

Recovery is about healing our pains in a healthy way.

When we learn to forgive it will allow our self to let go of the past.

There is nothing healthy about living in the past.

Understanding we are unhealthy and in the old days that we could not help our self.

That we were not bad people just vulnerable people.

I have reached a point where I can laugh at myself so I know I have forgiven myself.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

Hi,

Just a quick update. Currently 9 days GF and feeling a lot better today. Don’t get me wrong I’m still in a bad place but I’m feeling slightly better each day. I won’t quit.

Have a good weekend.

Andy 

Day 11 GF has been and gone. Feel I need to keep putting updates on here to keep myself accountable. Just want to love life again. Hopefully things keep getting better.

Andy 

2 weeks today GF. I’m going to update this on a weekly basis now to keep myself accountable. Good luck everyone.

Andy

Now 27 days GF. Joined GA and have attended 2 meetings. The support has been fantastic and would recommend anyone to attend. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow since I last gambled and I am feeling good about it.

Andy