Lets try this again...Day Zero

Morning of day 1

Actually feel better after breaking down last night. Let's hope the positivity can remain.

Have a good day all.

Day 1

Busy but productive day at work. On way home. No urge to gamble but going home to an empty house this afternoon/evening. Hopefully it will remain gamble free and I will reach day two.

Here's to day 2 JJT, it's just one evening, so keep strong and focused, you will feel sooo much stronger in the morning:)))

And hey thanks for your support yesterday, :)))

Suzanne xxx

Thanks Suzanne but day 0 again. Another £20 gone and another permanent exclusion.

It is because I am at home alone and bored this week after work. But I should not make excuses. Just need to pull myself together.

Cmon JJT.

JJT self exclude from all the sites before you even deposit. When you think about the deposit think about those horrible feelings the losses bring.

You are right kt93.

I know I will lose the £20 when I am depositing it but still go ahead. It's so pointless. Just in that dark cloud at the moment.

Wondering what I am doing in this world. Hoping I don't wake up tomorrow.

Need to snap out of it.

Day 1

Thinking to myself and laughing at what an idiot I have been. Think I am slowly starting to get over the £6k profit I was so close to withdrawing.

For the past week it has been in my mind making me angry thinking what I would have done with it. But I am slowly coming round to the fact that it was never mine and just being happy that it was not a £6k deposit I had lost.

Not sure why I am on day 1 for the third time this week because I know I can do this.

Actually enjoying work a lot at the moment as it draws my mind away from feeling down and alone.

Here goes - no more gambling

Your strong willpower and determination is just like everyone else's - useless by itself. Like a chocolate fire guard, it melts away in the face of temptation. You can think, intend, beat yourself up as much as you like, but none of it will stop you from gambling.

If you do want to stop, what are you going to DO to change things for you? Hand over financial control, so you don't have multiple £20s to deposit? Ditch your Visa card? Block your devices? Mobiles are much harder to block, the safest is to use a non Internet version. Tell the people around you to blow open the secrecy? Go to GA and GC counselling to get the support you need? Doing these things plus willpower will make a difference. But it's down to you to do it for you.

Hope you do go for it.

CW

Thanks for the advice CW. Just the sort of strong words I need to give me a kick up the backside.

I will begin to put things into place as want to beat this.

So coming up to the end of day one. Going strong. Determined to keep it up.

Have a good evening all.

Day 1

Is

Complete!!!!!!

Day 2

Managed to get through day one without a hitch. Happy with that. I know it's such a small accomplishment but if I can do a day then I can do two days, three days, four days and so on.

Wifey is back today so will not be at home by myself plus got blocking software and self excluded from everywhere.

Looking forward to a gamble free future and becoming the person. I used to be about 3-4 years ago (but wiser).

Take every negative and turn it into a positive (apart from medical results)

Would be so much harder without this site so thanks to all who help run the site and also all the active members sharing stories/experiences and support. Thanks all.

The creature I describe in post #19 feels like it is no longer breathing down my neck. Feels like I am inching away. All be it slowly but in the right direction.

It has been a week since I lost all that profit and i am finally coming to terms with it. I am not as frustrated or annoyed. I think that's helped a lot and the more time that I put between me and the incident the easier it should become.

Just looking forward to the future.

Gotta stay strong. Will stay strong. Am strong.

Day 3

Wifey back yesterday. So happy to have my rock back. Day 2 went without hitch. No urges or temptation.

Long may it continue.

What Deano says is right and the first week is tough, once you are through that week keep looking forward and think of a positive future. You will have times of weakness and regret but its how you deal with it that counts. I find posting or reading on here helps when you are struggling as we are all here for the same reason.

You aren't alone.