Life begins again

Hi stranger,

Glad to see you are back and posting.

Best wishes x

Hi Suzanne,

Great post. Very open and honest. Saying it as it is.

Recovery in action for sure.

Take care... S.A

P.s My flat could do with a lick of paint when youve finished yours 😉

Hi x where do I start x the only person who has ever really helped me with my gambling addication is you x blunt hey? x i am in counselling she is good, understands but not like you x you have been there x i can't stop Suzanne, i just can't let the losses go, I just feel (probably not true) that i can't survive on what i have. You have something I want, the strength, desire, stamina to stop, I just can't seem to keep that strength to stop. My only hope is your words ( i don't want to burden you or put pressure on you), I know you have your own demons. I have been drinking, so the words/thoughts maybe a little slurred, but it's 11.45 P.m., I need to quit, how do I do it? Where can i get your inner strength from.? Sorry if I sound desperate Suzanne, I know its down to me, but ..................................... I want to stop this gambling mess and move on and be happy with my lot. Sorry for this thread - Paul

Hi Suzanne , only just realised you left a comment on my page , as always thank you for your kind words , read your post earlier and it's great to see how well you recognise and control bad negative feelings and that had you still been gambling things could have led to a far worse experience .

Best wishes to you and your's and really glad to see you back again .

Alan x

Hi, Suzanne,

You're more restrained than me about your OH, good for you. Marriage is always hard work, they do know what buttons to press. And the trouble with the process of moving house is that you end up investing a huge amount of emotional energy in a situation that you simply can't control, too many other people involved. Not sure that the usual advice to detach with love will help, but I wish you well.

I hope things improve sooner rather than later and one final caveat: for goodness sake, don't take on responsibilty for anyone else's recovery. That earlier post, in my opinion, is dangerous to you. It's not down to you to singlehandedly save another person from themselves. Telling you that you're the only person who understands is just false flattery. The other GA members would understand just fine. You focus on you.

Take care, best wishes,

CW

Echo the above

Good morning diary,

Got in touch with We Buy any Home yesterday, (just out of curiousity to see what they would offer, (yes I know their offers are a total rip off, but it didn't hurt to see what they would pay, it's 80% of the market value, which is a big drop, (even though they pay all the solicitors and financial fees) but it reminds me of a pay day loan, (desperation) and those desperate days are far behind me now, I don't need/want the biggest pay day loan going, Patience on waiting for a buyer is a big challenge, (as I hate waiting for stuff to happen) but I have learnt that quick fixes can be sooo damaging, if we don't think of the long term affect, and that is my big positive for today, along with the choice to abstain and keep maintaining, my gamble free life,

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and happy gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hi, again, Suzanne,

Thanks for your post across the way. Things are showing some small signs of improvement in my world, thank you, still bumpy, toys are chucked out of the pram (not by me, naturally...well, not usually by me). There is a tiny candle flickering at the end of a very long tunnel but I don't trust it not to go out.

Back to you: Absolutely true that you offer huge support across the forum, it's appreciated because your diary is full of everyone else's thank-you's, including mine. No question that you should keep doing what's working - as long as it continues to work for you.

But in every other case, the exchanges are balanced, you get support, you give support. In The Post that worries me, it's one sided, your exchanges are generally one sided in that you are asked for and you give support and you get thanks but limited if any support back, there's dependency on you which is unhealthy, it's becoming exclusive, with the suggestion that only you can make things better. In my opinion The Post is downright manipulative. I would not advise outside contact with someone of the opposite gender who is in a very bad place, allegedly dependent on you to get out of it whilst your OH is throwing his toys around.

My apologies for pushing it, I won't post again on this subject but please be very careful.

CW

Hi Suzanne, thanks for your unconditional support, your words help every time I relapse. I was in a mess last night and I am a little calmer now. A couple of caring diarists have pointed out that maybe I was 'a little over the top' with my dependency on how I view your support to me. I guess I could have worded the post better, it was a tad desperate post, just reaching out for some crumbs of comfort in the middle of the night. So sorry for my phrasing of the post. That's not to say your words and thoughts mean any less to me. I stand by the line, you are the person who has best expressed how they understand what i am going through. Reading your recent posts times seem to be tough for you, wish you could sell that house, I can't post as much as before, internet usage has tightened up at work, but I will around in the evenings, take care and thanks for posting this morning x Paul

Hi Suzanne, thanks for the evening post, for a change how are you to-day, has it been a good one? Any demons out there lurking around gambling.? Yes I had had a drink to overcome the losses again, but I woke up cold, frightened and desperate for some advice really, on how I can really beat this addication. I have to stop this time, and I know you have, so I always look for you words and insight. It's gonna be tough for me from now on, I really have to change my lifestyle. I will be back with more thoughts when the severe depression has lifted. - Paul, P.s.-hope you evening is going Ok.

Hi Suzanne , I always seem to be popping by to say thank you for something but maybe that's because your so non judgemental to everyone on the forum , always there with a comforting word to anyone that needs it , so thank you ! With ref to your post well , everything comes to those who wait , so for the amount of time you've been waiting I've got my fingers crossed that something great will happen for you ! All the best to you and yours and deepest respect ....... Alan

Hi Suzanne

Thanks for the continued support on my and everyone else's diary.

Paul

Hi Suzanne,
Sorry to hear you are having such a s**t time and as you always say to me I am always here and you have my email as phone now broken. I am and always will be so very proud to walk beside you and completely understand your frustration re all the things that are out of your control. That's the bit that's so hard to sit and see things happen and you cannot change/mend certain situations.
I am on Facebook messenger or WhatsApp if you want to message me as still same number as before just stopped my insurance ( wonder why that might be lol!!)
Have 5 weeks then can upgrade so will be fully functioning.
You are such a giving person but now is your time to take the time to sit back and let yourself heal.
This demon never goes away, kicks us when we are down and takes part of our soul making us think we are not worthy.
You are and please take care of you
Big ((((((hugs))))
Cheryl xxxxxxx

Hi Suzanne, good to see you back here. I was wondering why you were so quiet....I was just hoping that life was being kind to you.It helps to unload it all on here...that's what these pages are for. And there's nothing wrong with taking time away from the family, from here, from life, to recharge. We all need alone time. That's just part of looking after ourselves.You've been carrying a lot of stress for a long time so it's natural that it all gets a bit much sometimes. I know you're the cleaning superwoman, but in all other respects you're just a normal human and, like the rest of us, life gets a bit much at times. I'm glad you've got such a good grip on the handles of that rollercoster ride.

80% from we buy any house?? That's taking the mickey...even the bleeping slots offer a better payout rate than that! (joke!!) You're doing all the right things in sprucing it up and making it more attractive to sell.Every house we've ever sold has looked so much better on the day we moved out than on the days that we lived in them! I hope the word with the estate agents will do some good.Keep the faith...a buyer will come.

Thanks for your drop by. Looks like we're both doing just fine 🙂

LB x

Hey Blondie,

Just wanted to thank you for dropping in ☺.

I will deffo come back with more words, just wanted you to know that i really appreciate you and your soul

Look after yourself xx