Life With Sports Bets Only

Hi Captain,

Firstly I’d rather not comment on whether I’m still GF, I don’t want to incriminate myself…

It’s very hard to explain everything on here, without giving away too much personal info. 

You talk often about helping others in the chat room. I think when you’re older and (sometimes) wiser, like us, it can to be help to others, but also to ourselves. I also believe it’s easy to give others advice, but no so easy to take that same advice ourselves. I’m referring to myself Captain, not you. 

Sorry to hear you’ve had a couple of “not so good” days. As I’ve said before, it’s completely understandable. What’s important is that you’re able to eventually pull yourself out of it and continue on your journey. It’s just so sad that it’s only when you get off the rollercoaster and the dust settles you can see gambling for what it really is. And for many it’s too late, the damage is done. 

We had a nice day with my parents yesterday. We and fish and chips for tea, followed by coffee cupcakes ? We came home and watched episodes 4 & 5 of Close to me. Only episode 6 left, which we’ll watch today.

Hope you’re feeling back on track today.

Tizzy xxx

Hi captain, long time no post. I think your the only old name I recognise on the forum.

I'm doing ok, trying extremely hard to abstain, the gamstop certainly works. I've abstained for long periods, currently 4 months gamble free.

On line casinos/fruit machines/slots hold no fear for me, u can't beat them. I've conquered my urges to bk horses, too many improbables, football no longer interests me, very hard to predict. It leaves me with my only interest in sport cricket.

It leave me a quandary, can j just bet on cricket?

But will the odd cricket bet send me back to the seedy world of compulsive gambling.

I know it will, been on and off abstaining for the past 20 years. 

Where would that of lead if I’d placed a bet? Trying to recoup the 3 grand I've lost over the past 4 years?

 I'm nearly 50, mortgage nearly paid off, happily married with 2 kids, I have no need to gamble for gain. Would a bet have been so wrong today?

Sorry to take over your thread, I couldn't be bothered to find my own diary, and yours is so apt, life with sports betting only.

I hope your life is content.

Hi Trigger

Thanks for the post and no worries re taking up space on my diary 🙂 . I have to say I dont recall your name but then I have corresponded with many over my almost 12 years on here! Plus you may have gone under a different name before?

Anyway, can you just bet on Cricket? I dunno how much of my diary/history you have read/recall, but Yes, as per the title of my diary, my aim was to limit myself to Sports bets only ( not a cricket fan myself, but Football, Golf, Tennis, Snooker). Had I only bet on those 4 sports, well, I wouldnt even be on here and thats the truth. Not saying I would have made huge profits, but wouldnt have lost either, and it would just have been a decent hobby which took up a lot of my time. But I couldn't do it - there were too many gaps between the sports events, too often a sports bet let me down and I chased losses on horses, greyhounds and worst of all virtual racing. Plus I used gambling as a means of dealing with stress and to escape from normal life, sitting in the office watching the clock, desperate for lunchtime or end of the day to get to the bookies. I was bad enough before I started gambling online, then got even worse. Even after having to re-mortgage, which I thought was my 'rock-bottom', I couldn't stop. When I realised I had to try and stop completely, I just couldn't do it. Counsellors told me I was the worst case they have experienced. So I cut things out one by one, Snooker was easiest, Tennis next easiest, tried to run with just Golf and Football, cut football down to 2 days a week, Golf down to majors only etc. But in doing all of this on the Sports side, I was still battling the addictive horses/dogs/virtual escape side. Went through various periods of abstinence on that side of up to a year, relapsed. Eventually I had to call it a day as I simply couldn't borrow any more money and I just couldn't cope.

So thats a brief summary which saves you or anyone else reading large parts of my diary 🙂

Back to the question - can you bet on only Cricket - Yes you can, some people do, but not many. Sounds like your past efforts are similar to mine in trying to stick to certain things. 

Amounts are relative, so I cant comment on you losing 3 grand over 4 years if thats a lot to you. Your mortgage is nearly paid off - great, well done. Happily married - another box ticked. Really sounds like you know the answer - not worth gambling on Cricket and send yourself into a downward spiral.

All my advice on here, on diaries or on chat, is to stop completely if you can and as early as possible ( i.e. many 20 somethings come on here and I tell them to stop now before they get in deep and it ruins their lives).

Me - I'm 5 years older than you, have a mountain of debts, at present no way of paying off my mortgage, paying interest only, various relationships ruined. I spend my spare time now watching more TV than I should, I cant watch much sport, have had to restrict myself to only highlights, my interest in football has gone downhill fast, I have learned that much of the sport that I watched was only because I was gambling on it. I appreciate nature  now more than ever, I am relatively fit and healthy for my age, continue to tell myself there are thousands of others worse off than me, having many great memories, not so sure there will be many great memories in the future but who knows?

Happy for you to post back on my diary and continue dialogue on here if you cant find your own diary or dont start another one. Good luck. Maybe see you on chat sometime, I try and get on the 8pm one once or twice a week.

It aint going away.  (Thats my catchphrase now, stole it from Paul Merson 🙂 - basically the 'disease is inside us forever).

Captain

Hi Captain,

Glad to hear you’ve felt a little better, I hope it continues. 

We watched the last episode of Angela Black tonight, agree it’s slightly better than others. Was disappointed with the ending of Close to me ? We’ve still got The Tower to watch. I understand you feel you’re just watching tv to pass time, but in the evenings, after a long day working, who wants to be productive? Don’t beat yourself up, try to enjoy. Admittedly, I think we all watch some dramas with 4 plus episodes and get to end and think it was a complete waste of time ? I guess it’s like relationships really, only generally they last a lot longer. 

We’re going out tomorrow. OH has to see someone, only briefly, so me and our Grandson will go along for the ride. We’ll take him to McDonalds for a lunchtime snack. 

I enjoy making cakes for family, but wouldn’t want to try and earn some kind of living from it to be honest. I think that would take away the enjoyment I get from it. Plus, it’s bloody hard work with so much mess! Lol. 

The highlight of my day today was booking my Christmas delivery slot (well click and collect actually)

I hope works not too demanding at present. 

Take care Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Thanks for your reply Captain, u may remember me as Robby Box previously.

A tv hero of mine, a compulsive gambler who's exciting life was always on the edge. He inspired a gang of us at school to set up a card school, the seed was sown.

I'm finding things frustrating at present, I know all too well gambling will bring grief.

Life is good, I'm very fortunate, only a idiot would risk jeopardising things, yet I still yearn for a gamble, yearn for that buzz.

As I mentioned, my only real interest in sport is cricket, I feel I have an edge , but much like yourself I get sucked into other rubbish I know nothing about, when there is no cricket action.

Nothing beats that buzz of the action, hence why I've spent more than half my life either in it, avoiding it or chasing it.

I don't get this cbt therapy thing, I've no issues that would have lead me to gambling, for me it was the buzz, studying a horse race to prove yourself right, a game.

All the best captain, sorry to take over your diary again.

Hi Trigger/ Robby 

Good to hear from you again.

Yes I remember you as Robby Box and I would imagine I would have said to you previously he was a TV hero of mine too! Although I’ve never played cards for money, I loved his character and lifestyle and had it in my head that I could live like that. (And I did have a short lived attempt at being a professional gambler but of course being a CG it didn’t work ? ).

Completely agree with you about the buzz - that’s the key thing most don’t realise - we are in it for the buzz and involvement and challenge, not the winning per se. We get an adrenalin rush from just placing a bet, regardless of the outcome. The money is just ammunition. We rarely do anything with winnings. 

Get that CBT isn’t for you. I found counselling useful but from a generic life perspective not gambling specific. Helped me identify the compulsive out of control side versus the in control bet on sports I know about side. The out of control is due to voids in parts of my life and past. Not saying everyone is the same that way. 

Best of luck, hope to hear from you again. 

It ain’t going away.

Captain 

Hi Captain,

The emotions thing you talked about is very true. We go through many emotions whilst in the clutches of gambling. And gambling itself dictated those emotions as and when. When I was *winning* I’d want to go out for meals, talk about holidays, I was *very happy* When all was lost, I was just a shell. Feeling so sad at the prospect of not playing again, merely because I had no more ammunition! Then, as you well know the brain starts working out a plan “where can I get money from”….. and so it continues. 

Whilst winning, I would be happy to communicate with people. When losing I try to avoid eye contact. I’m referring to playing actual slots now, not online.  I hated it when total strangers would want to stand and watch me. Then they’d try and make conversation, or drop the line “you’re doing well”. That was always something that really annoyed me and in some occasions I’d reply and say “how do you know? You have no idea what I’ve put in this machine. They’d soon P**s off then ???

I cannot seem to get a good nights sleep atm. I’m pretty certain it’s to do with my age, my body changing etc. I get flushes a lot. But it drives me mad, continually looking at the clock. Playing my own game of guessing the time! 

We’re going to see my parents tomorrow. As you know his op is on Monday. It’s come around quite quick. But hopefully it’ll work this time. 

Guess I’d better try and get some sleep. Hope you’re ok BFF.

Tizzy xxx

Hi BFF,

Well, it’s been a very long day here today! Dad went along at 7:30 this morning. He saw the surgeon early - all systems go. He waited and waited, then about 1pm asked a nurse what was happening and she said because he needed ICU after the op (we didn’t know this before) she didn’t know what was happening! You can imagine how I felt. Anyway, fortunately, long story short, he went down sometime between 3-4 and was in ICU just before 8. My Brother called the hospital and spoke to a really lovely nurse. Then about an hour ago Dad called my Mum ❤️ He said he felt really bad when he came to, but was feeling a tad better and was hoping to have a cuppa and a biscuit. I can’t tell you how glad I am it’s done. Let’s just hope it’s done the trick ???

I will certainly sleep better tonight Captain. 

How was your day today, back in the office? I know you wasn’t looking forward to it! ? Are you busy atm? 

The other day I was thinking. And you know, a job I’d really love? Working in a bookies. Of course I know it’s not ideal. And I don’t know what made me think along those lines. But I’d love watching. I know you enjoy a bit of people watching yourself ? Watching peoples reactions. I wouldn’t get any joy from watching people lose, obviously. But it must be good to see people win, especially when you are not personally betting. 

Anyway, I deffo need my beauty sleep tonight, I feel I’ve aged 20 yrs!

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Thanks for your message. Sorry to hear things aren’t great being in the office. I can’t help but think though, maybe you need to be around people at times. If you had more and more time constantly at home, wouldn’t it then become even harder to tolerate when it was needed? At least you have Thursday and Friday at home. 

How is your Mum getting on? Is she improving at all? 

We went out this afternoon with our Grandson. Oddly he saw his dentist this morning. And we had an appointment with our dentist (different practices) this afternoon. I was dreading it as I hadn’t been since Sept 19 - because of COVID. Fortunately I just need a visit to the hygienist, no other work required! ?

We then popped to the supermarket and I picked up some bits and pieces for Christmas. 

What will you do over Christmas Captain? Do you visit your Mum? I can’t imagine you put decorations up? I can’t imagine it being a good time of the year for you full stop. I hope I’m wrong. 

Working in a bookies wouldn’t pay a lot Captain no. It’s just intrigue that makes me think I’d really enjoy it. Maybe if it actually came to it I wouldn’t. I know I’d hate to see the same people losing lots, especially if they were nice people. I’d probably get sacked for telling them they were wasting their money! It’s so easy to tell someone else, not so easy to follow yourself. 

Have you watched Showtrial yet? I think all episodes (5) are available on iplayer. We’ve watched 2 and really enjoyed them. Fingers crossed that’ll continue.  

Night night Captain,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

I hope you’re well and your weekend is going ok. 

We went and punched up my Mum this afternoon. I persuaded her to come and stay with us for a few days. She lives about 30 mins from us. My OH doesn’t mind, he’s pretty good like that. So we had a nice salad for tea with fresh bread. Watched Saturday night tv, consisting of Strictly, The Wheel and Blankety Blank - that he wasn’t too thrilled about. He likes his programmes ???

We don’t know how long Dad will remain in hospital. But he’s in pretty good spirits and thanks to technology Mum and Dad FaceTime daily. 

So, I got it wrong with you re Christmas. I’m quite surprised. I really couldn’t imagine you putting up a tree or any decs. Shows what I’ve learnt about you in the months we’ve been corresponding ???But I must say it pleases me to know you enjoy it. You should have seen my face as I was reading your last message, smiling to myself ?

We are still watching Showtrial, although we didn’t watch any tonight. Quite enjoying it. The *did she* *didn’t she* scenario ?

What have you been up to Captain? Anything exciting happening in chat? 

I assume Monday you’re back in the office for 3 days? 

Goodness knows what’s happening with this new covid mutation. We watched the briefing this evening. It wasn’t all negative, but obviously there’s lots to learn about it. Have you had your booster yet? We had ours last Sunday. 

I guess I’d better get some sleep.

Speak soon,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain, 

No, we didn’t “punch up my mum” …..lol. It’s funny, I usually check what I’ve written, clearly didn’t last night ?

I cooked roast beef tonight, with my favourite winter veg - sprouts, swede and parsnip. It was lovely. We then watched two episodes of Departure. Not bad at all I must say! 

You mentioned about apart from gambling, you were pretty good with money. I’m the same. I get excited when certain products I want from the supermarket are on offer and will save me 50p! It’s crazy Captain. I agree with the Jekyll and Hyde bit. But then again, I’m a Gemini, definitely two sides to me ?

It must be really hard accepting the money you lost. When you’re out of zone, it’s so easy to look back and question how the h**l you could do it. The last time I gambled online, which was months ago, I knew I wasn’t going to win. I knew. I borrowed £800 (I think) off OH, knowing within hours, or a day or two (if I was lucky) it would be gone. There were so many times towards the end I promised him it would be the last time. And when I said it, I meant every word of it. But, when all was lost, I’d just be thinking of my next way of getting some money to allow me to play again. The next way I’d phrase it to my OH. Cook him his favourite dinner and get him in a good mood so he’d probably give in to me yet again! 

I know I’m lucky in that I’ve not lost mega mega money like yourself. But, as I’ve said before, things could change and that’s what brought me here.

We put our decorations up today too. But we did play Christmas music for the first time this year. I’ll look forward to exchanging favourite Christmas songs with you soon ?

Have a good Monday BFF,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Is your working in the office permanent? I hope not, for your sake. I understand it can be difficult to continually humour people. Some people in this world love nothing more than to talk about themselves. 

You mentioned how at this time of year, when gambling, the cancellation of games or races would affect you. Did the Spurs v Burnley game at the weekend trigger that thought as I saw that game was cancelled. Arsenal notched yet another win. We’ll forget the previous bad loss at Anfield ?

We watched the last two episodes of the first series of Departure. It wasn’t bad. The end was a bit messy, but I think we understood it. We’re taking my Mum home tomorrow, so will probably complete Showtrial tomorrow evening. Mum has already watched it all.

Are you a tidy person Captain? Our house is relatively tidy. But in drawers and cupboards there is plenty of rubbish shoved in here and there! ??

I’m really tired tonight. Our Grandson kept us pretty busy this afternoon. It’s lovely having him, it really is. But it’s like people say…. The beauty of having Grandchildren is the ability to give them back ???

Looking forward to your first Christmas song ?

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Ok, so clearly you’ve got to get used to this office lark once again. And yes, at least it’s three days instead of 5 pre-covid - definitely the best way to look at the situation.

A guy my OH knew from years ago died yesterday. I hadn’t met him. But we spoke on one of the social media sites. We had a lot of banter, he was a cheeky chappy. I only said to OH a day or so ago that I’d not seen any posts from him in two months (he was always posting stuff, lots of football banter etc) then today his daughter sent a message saying that he’d died yesterday. He had cancer. And from the sounds of things he only found out in the last couple of months. So sad. None of us know what the future has in store for us, do we? 

We took Mum home this afternoon. Still hoping Dad will come home tomorrow. Viability nurse will decide in the morning. 

So, have you been listening to any Christmas music this evening? I just listened to “A spaceman came travelling”. I don’t want to be mean, so I’ll give it a 6.5 - which isn’t bad, it’s ok. No, better than ok, slightly ?

I thought of 3 already. But will leave you with this one for tonight…..Driving home for Christmas, and I love the video too ?

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

 I hope your weekend is going ok? 

No, my Dad never came home on Thursday. I believe they are keeping a close eye on the wound (although you wouldn’t think so) one person seems to say one thing, someone else something else. Dad does t really question anything, so here we are…. ?

In three weeks time Christmas Day will almost be over. I know I’ve said it before but I love Christmas. It just has this “feel”. The shops all decorated, the music or carols playing. It has such a warm cosy feeling. I love Christmas Eve. Everything is to come the next day. For me, when the big day comes, as each hour passes I feel a bit down. And, unlike you, I don’t listen to the Christmas music after Boxing Day. The momentum has gone for me. 

So, the classic from Slade. Difficult one for me to grade. It is one of the two classics, the other from a group that begins with “W” and for that reason I couldn’t score it lower than 8. It certainly wouldn’t be Christmas without hearing it!

So, my choice tonight is “When a child is born”. Mr Mathis. It’s a beautiful song and I love it…… hope you’re singing it now ?

Sweet dreams,

Tizzy xxx

Hi Captain,

Yes, I did get my bands/songs muddled! Unlike me to be honest. It must have been late; that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it ? Wizzard and  Slade both have the classic Christmas songs.

I’m glad you can appreciate my choice. When a child is born really is a beautiful song. Now to your “The Little Drummer Boy” - I love it. So it’s also a 9/10 from me! Bowie looks sooooooooo young, we watched the video just yesterday.  That would probably have been my next choice ??

Felt a bit P**P today. OH has P****d me off so I’ve come to bed! Our Grandson is fast asleep, not sure if I mentioned we were having him tonight. But anyway, he’ll be awake before 6, so probably a good idea coming to bed early.

Its a shame we’re unable to exchange Christmas cards. I know we can’t, I know the rules etc, but even so, it’s still a shame. It’s crazy, we’ve spoken a lot to each other over the past 8 or 9 months, yet we could pass each other in the street and we wouldn’t know. 

So now to my next song…….I’m going to go with Fairytale in New York. I know it’s a more recent song. And I feel it’s not Christmasy, but I actually really like it. I always think about Kirsty MacColl who was killed at just 41 in that terrible accident. Very sad. Still, great song - imho of course ?

Tomorrow’s another day BFF,

Tizzy xxx