lockdown gambling

HI secretaddict thanks for the comments 

i am now self excluded from every site i believe i could possibly use , i am sick  of this love hate relationship i have with gambling 

sick of watching that roulette wheel , sick of watching dealers pull high card after after high card whilst giving me low cards , sick of checking football score apps 

gambling has plagued my early adult life for well over 10 years 

i cannot carry this nonsense into my 30's its an absolute miracle i am as financially well off as i am today 

its been a tough weekend , hard to let go of the loss earlier in the week and found myself punting random football accumulators to try and compensate 

added another 70 or 80 quid onto the clown bill  ....then as one of the last games i wanted goals in finished 0-0

i was contemplating getting back on the tables i was just fortunate the site i was on required me to deposit and then transfer to "chips" it was long winded process and i couldn't be bothered 

 i just watched for a bit some guy , lost like £500 in around 15 mins 

it was like 10pm at this point and i decided i didn't fancy the headache so filled out the self exclusion instead 

probably saved myself another few hundred so celebrated a small win watched my favourite tv show and went to sleep 

actually slept great all things considered , fairly positive this morning WFH so can do some work on my business 

will check back in tomorrow 

day 2 

decided to reset the calendar so i know where i am at even though ive never really classed football accas as a serious issue they are still gambling and lead into more dangerous waters 

no urges at the moment although i couldn't gamble even if i wanted too unless i went to an actual bookies or casino which i never do anymore anyway 

financially im a little over exposed  for my liking and have ended up having to take a bit out of savings to see me through to end of month something ive not had too do for a long long time 

fortunately I've got a little bonus in the pay-packet this month so can offset that against last weeks losses 

this last week or so has got me remembering the struggles i was under years ago where i would be trying to stretch £150 over about 3 weeks with no savings no overdrafts and no borrowing 

i managed ....somehow but it was hard really hard remember going to the supermarket and buying these little 30p bread rolls to eat for lunch no fillings just bread rolls and water lol 

no way i am ever getting myself in that sort of financial mess ever again and gambling is the fastest route to poverty one can take 

anyway realise i am starting to waffle a bit ,another busy day writing blog posts is ahead of me 

this business i am buildinng is the hardest thing I've ever done so i hope the rewards pay off in the end

day 4 

plodding on , no gambling , no urges not really thinking about it to be honest

got my first night out in over a year with some freinds on saturday looking forward too that just hope the weather dries off a little

will check back in later in the week 

day 10 i think 

had a weekend away with friends was good to have some normality back in life 

everything seems at least 20% more expensive than at the start of lockdown are buisnesses trying to make up for lost income i wonder ? 

anyway not been online no real urge too either ..... did have an urge to do a bet on sunday for the last set of fixtures but couldn't get online and was too hungover to be bothered to go to the bookies so i left it 

saved myself 50 quid there i guess 

summer 21 is not looking too promising i must say very wet , very cold and we are nearly into june 

hopefully it dramatically improves in coming weeks