Lost the plot...so back.

Did you complete day 1? Think how much money you saved if you did. I hope you didn't do something stupid like launching an assault on the bookies in search of chasing your losses. You stopped short of ruin on Saturday. Don't ruin yourself.

Yes, I completed it. Standing on the precipice, arms windmilling to prevent myself going over the edge, I can't afford another mistake otherwise there's no way to dig myself out without coming clean - and even then, I don't know how it would be financially possible. That's not on the cards for now.

As for the bulk buying, I never stopped doing it, so no savings there.I can save a little on alcohol,but no money on sweets and takeaways anyway. I'm going to have to eat grass to make ends meet.

This is day 2

Did you complete day 2? I hope so. Stay strong.

Thanks Pelle. Yes, I did.

Arranged another credit card yesterday at 0% for 24 months on balance transfers. Got to juggle stuff around but it will take SOME of the pressure off. Obviously I've got to be very careful now not to do anything stupid. I won't though, I'm feeling determined.

Hi bud, just did an update on my diary and came over to see yours, what are the odds we both craped out on the 24th May.....

This to me is a sign (dont believe in that kind of cr** but right now i need something :-)) fancy building up a run of days together????

Like you am on the edge financially, if i go again i will be facing some difficult questions on the home front that i just wont be able to talk my way out off.

What the hell is the deal with the red mist???? i know we are both relatively cever men, we know right from wrong yet on the gambling front we lose all sense of this...

lets really give this a good go and aim to at least get a month under our belts?are you with me bud???

I never really went away since I started posting in 2011, but I did stop posting on other diaries, and then rarely on my own, I just read some of the new ones..

Now I'm back after the 3rd major gambling binge in 2 and a half years, I realise that the reason it worked so well the first time (this forum) is because I worked at it through desperation. I questioned why people just came and disappeared after a dozen posts, 'that'll never happen to me' I boldly predicted. Inevitably, though, it gets a chore, and sometimes there is nothing to write when recovery is well underway. Sometimes it doesn't help reading people's problems; there was a diarist on here (still here) who went weeks out of control and posted details of money,games, losses etc and I found myself getting the ghost of a hit from her accounts. That wasn't helpful. There was also all that business with GT and others getting angry with the way the site is funded.

In the end, though, you take what you want from his site, and on reflection (and grim experience) being here is better than not being here. Cutting myself off from the world of gambling by burying my head in the sand is not the answer, because it is everywhere and won't go away. Being distracted by arguments over what should be banned and what shouldn't is pointless, because I would probably find something to get my 'hit', whether it is legal or not. Even if internet gambling is restricted (as in the US), there will obviously be ways around it, and I'm devious enough to find them. And, sidetracking about whether I should buy a raffle ticket or do the lottery is pointless - everyone has their own demons (and those two aren't mine) and I think people know where their own problems lie.

The point is, I have a problem - gambling on BJ, and sometimes slots and roulette. When I win, which is little and often using the staking system on BJ that I use, I up the stakes and the frequency and just p1ss money to the wind. The staking system is forgotten. I usually last about 3 or 4 weeks before this happens, which is why I keep getting up around 6k up, have a big loss (usually 2-3k, but this is normal statistically within the staking system), then just abandon reason and throw thousands trying to get back to where I was. It obviously fails. This last time is a classic example, and worse than some because I was given a second chance. Over a peroid of about 6 weeks I got to be 6.9k up. I then lost2k, chased it with another 3k THE DAY AFTER, and reasoned that I might as well change the remaining 2k profit and try again. My normal deposit is 300. Where do these telephone number deposits come from?? Anyway, this last time, I changed the 2k and by FLUKE - no system - won back 3k, bringing me back to 5k. But by now the seeds of doom were set, and subsequent deposits - probably 5 of them - were all for silly money. I ended up 6k down in total - that's 6k down minus the 7k I was up at one point, meaning I lost nearly 13k over 5 or 6 deposits.

I am obviously ill and this time I am going to record my thoughts properly, as the first time, and get involved once again in this forum.

Did you get through yesterday okay? I hope so.

This month has been a terrible mess. The full scale of the financial carnage is starting to become apparent. At least now I am taking sensible steps to get things in order. Gone are the days when a new credit card would mean more money to plough into the coffers of B.e.t. 3.6.5, C.o.r.a.l.s, L.a.d.b.r.o.k.e.s and S.k.y. B.e.t.

I was once up to 7k all from starting with just 100 how I don't know , but would of never stopped and I didn't not until I lost it all , so really just pointless time wasted , not to mention the 100 and oh the other 43800 ive lost ontop of that so stupid , it must end here , we are ill , and must get better , thanks simon

Hi bud, hope your doing ok. Had a great day off work, spent it at home with the family, really good fun.

Know we can make it to the 1st july, we have Pell on board too,it will ge great to get some clear water from the last screwup. Can then set a new date to work towards and assess how things have improved in the month.

Really need to make this work,

Chat soon

Pat

No update. I hope you didn't end up on a drunken bender last night P****** pounds away like a zombie.

Worked last night and got back late. Up early today (ie 5am) and worked til noon. Just too knackered to update last night!

No gambling. No chance of gambling, especially since I'm still sliding towards the abyss. Got a new CC today so can transfer one lump onto that (0% for 17 months). Got another 7k to deal with after that and hoping I'm successful with another application I've made. That will stabilise my situation on 'dire' rather than 'irrecoverable' where it is now.

6 weeks ago I was throwing grands around like confetti. Now I'm checking the price of tinned peaches trying to save 5p. If it wasn't so serious it would be funny.

Milkman

fella never a truer word written,the f**k it attitude that comes with our gambling lives in the cold light of day is very sobering.

I hope you manage to put those finances on an even keel,bottom line is my friend by not gambling you won't be adding to debt,you will gift yourself the chance to repay the losses.

On a lighter note looking through my half full glass Peaches I love em!! even more so the ones in a tin,actually the one's in syrup!!!! I could drink the tin!!

Keep making the right choice

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Milkman

Very well done on abstaining

I was exactly the same thought nothing of gambling 1000s and now I am counting every penny because I am too facing up to my finances and like you can just manage with them now I have sorted them by a payment plan

That has to be positive for us because we are not gambling and borrowing more to try and resolve our debts

I am so money conscious now to make ends meet

Well done to both of us and yes I agree it would be funny if it was not so serious but I did smile at what you wrote

Keep strong and determined we are winning now

Best wishes Suzanne xx

milkman , thanks I really appreciate your comments , its just like dunc days this addiction plays tricks on our minds and to be honest , I do feel like a gamble at the moment , but I wont with this kind of new found strength I have found as mentioned in my diary , I sometimes read on here though and after reading on here about peoples gambling I when leaving here feel tempted , but your comments that I have read today ,have put temptation for today at least behind me thanks for that , good luck to you or instead maybe I should just say lets make the right choice, ps its always after a slip I feel tempted for a week or 2 so happy to starve this temptation out , so yes a learning curve as you say, as what I feel now I had before so then this temptation after this recent slip teaches me I will always get temptation about a week or so after a slip , thanks again your sooooo right thanks

Still no gambling.

Got a new CC today but they gave me a pathetic 2500 limit. I was really hoping for 7k. So problems batted into the near future but averted for a short time. It's quite a setback. I'm near the edge and I was really hoping for a lifeline. Well, better than nothing I suppose.

This hole is going to take some getting out of. Taken stock of my debts and they are more than I thought. 6k is gathering interest. I have no more avenues to transfer the debt so I'm just going to have to work it down.