Lost the plot...so back.

Hi MM, sorry to hear the news on the new CC. Are there any other options on the CC front?

I am really screwed on that front, there are very few options here for CC's, generally only available where you bank so all my debt is high interest so struggling to just keep pace with them. have about 14K on 3 cards along with a couple of loans.. No option other than just keep plodding along.

Pat

Hi Pat,

No, all CC avenues exhausted. Unbelievably I have 6 Ccs, although 2 are cut up by me, without debt, and one is unused. I've kept those accounts for emergency use ie I would have to ask for another card before I used them so I can't gamble spontaneously. The remaining 3 are all maxed out, 17k, although 11k is 0% for 18 months. God, what a mess. I can JUST pay monthly what they want, but there is nothing left at all. In a few months, when the debt has come down a little, I'll be able to cope.

Come down from the adrenalin stage now and in the empty, regret and can't-believe-my-own-stupidity stage. Good, I deserve to feel like that.

Hi Milkman

Just think when we do clear some debts and have some money left for the month we will think we are rich (was gonna say we will think we have won the lottery but not appropriate for us) lol

We will get there because we are saving everyday we don't spend a penny

That has to be positive

Keep keeping strong

One day at a time

Best wishes Suzanne xx

Hi bud. Hope you are ok. Week has just flown by not sure if that's a good thing or not but I am still on course for the 1st July.

Got a little good news this week, got an extra 2500 credit on one card. Could not believe when I rang and they increased it over the phone. Really takes a little pressure off.

Let me know how things are with you.

Pat

Managed to transfer some cash to my current account. All very long-winded and round the houses, but in brief the immediate problem is now batted into the future. Of course, I have had to pay a fair old price cash-wise for transferring balances and so on. Some idiot amount, probably nearing a thousand when it's all counted up. However, it'll save around a hundred a month in interest, so it'll pay for itself in less than a year. I reckon I'll need two years to pay off my debts. I'm an idiot, I first came on here nearly 3 years ago, and I only needed two years to pay off my debts at that time.

One CC is 0% for a year. The second is 0% for two years. The third is 7% for the length of the balance. It's as good as I could do under the circumstances. It means I'll be paying fifty pounds a month in interest provided I pay them all off in order in the correct timescale. It grieves me to pay it...but then, I was throwing thousands around not so long ago.

I wished, the point you made about being rich when we pay off the debt is well taken. Truth is, though, I can't remember the last time I didn't have gambling debts. When we moved house around 3 years ago there was a brief period when my bank a/c was awash with money (I was holding it for a later transaction). I started eating it almost immediately, the transaction was made and suddenly I was 6k overdrawn. That was the first time I came here. In a weird way, not having money makes it easier to control gambling than having it.

Still clean.

Struggling with it at the moment. Have rearranged all my finances and am ok at present - if being 19k in debt is ok. I can manage it and pay it off within 2 years if I don't do anything stupid.

Things are all over the place at the moment.

Hi bud, i hear you on the struggle..

good to be racking up the days and not the debts.

Great to think you could be debt free in 2 years. is 19K in 2 years a realastic target for you??

Sorry Pat. I lost 500 last night.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. It's certainly kept me awake all night. I really didn't want to be one of those people who keeps crashing all the time.

A mixture of alcohol (although it wasn't too much) and urge.The urge has been getting stronger and stronger since I put my finances on an even keel. In fact, the usual thing - a little bit of money jangling around and straight to the tables.

I've really got to do better than this. I can only just barely survive financially. One more slip and it'll be game over.

Day one

Hi milkman

Sorry to read about your slip and no doubt you will be feeling like /////

The gambling game was over for you as soon as you starting winning losing and chasing

If we can't be happy with that one win draw it out spend it save or whatever we stArt chasing more because we have lost our deposit plus winnings so the merry go round stArts and so does the money we think we will get back but the stakes get too high for us to win back anything like the amount we have gambled

There is only way to go in the end a Abstaining from gambling better sooner than later not an easy ride Iknow but it does have to be done in the end

I wish you all the best on your struggle. But you will get there take one day at a time

You are better than this and you will feel better tomorrow than today because you won't play because you know you can't win

Take care Suzanne xx

finances

Hi milkman,

Long time no speak. I always try and read diaries as often as I can even though I don't post much now.

Sorry to read about your slip.

It's madness isn't it, I played this cycle of destruction for 20+ years! and every time I told myself the same thing,

"I will stop now, I won't ever gamble again".

It really was like a form of madness for me,

Who was I trying to kid or lie until ultimately it resulted in me having my first house re-possessed , stealing from an employer, ending my marriage....

All because I never quite got it..... Now I live and breath these words and I truly believe them.... I CANT win because I CANT STOP....

I don't listen to the nagging addiction voice in my head

" go on you have some spare money, you could win and get out of debt".

It's bullshxx mate and you know it...!!

The only way out of it is acceptance, every time you get in the ring with gambling YOU LOSE.

So take the gloves off admit defeat it's not a weakness it will each day bring you strength.

I wish you all the very best in your fight, dig deep, accept it, pay your debt , stop counting the days to debt free, it is what it is and it won't change instantly but eventually it will.

Take care milkman

Blondie x

Are you okay? Don't desert the forum. I have fallen by the wayside. I went and talked myself into it. Such a fool. The debt repayment teaspoon will be coming out once the dust has settled from the latest detonation.

hope your ok bud, would be good to hear an update positive or negative, just let us know your ok.

Pat

I am here. I am OK.

Not deserted the forum; more like the internet equivalent of hiding at the back of the room somewhere.

I've always read those 'repeat failure' diaries with a sense of ' poor lad/lass, it must be awful to be that much in s h 1te and still committing financial suicide'...Then #i became that person.

Still coming to terms with everything and will post and get it off my chest soon. Money ok for now. Pride wrecked and feeling stupid. Want to be in a better place before I post properly

hi milkman , i felt urged slightly to gamble tonight, mainly because of spare cash , but thought about it and im a stubourne old mule at times , but whoever wrote take the gloves off, stop fighting by gambling to win money back/or just to win and addmit defeat , they were/are spot on , i have learened this very hard lesson, ive lost thousands but have realised its just pointless, ive learned the lesson that i cant beat the roulette table no matter what system i play not in the long run , and if we/i were to play short term and win well we know we would just have to go back for more then it becomes the long run and then we are beat. So accept we cant beat the system at any form of gambling , we cannot win no matter what we do , accept its beaton us had our money . But what we can do is take off the gloves stop playing/gambling stop trying to win when we know we cant , accept defeat that if we gamble we will not win . like me a stubourne old mule i have had to accept i am wrong i cannot come up with a styem to win , i know ive tried every one and thought up many others and none of them work , for me the addiction goes when i see its pointless which i see its pointless when i cant win and i know i cant win when ive tried every gambling method and still lost. everyone told me the house always wins , it pains me to say they were and they are and they always will be right , the house always wins. Its designed to win its a business, and i was one of there customers , but i did not know the product they were selling was just not worth buying and i could not stop buying and i over bought, and am now paing the price. What i would say is its pointless dont do it anymore , you will make much more money by not gambling , on top of that you will find true happiness by not gambling , i stummbled into gambling , a bit of harmless fun , but too quickly got addicted without even realising then lost thousands and thousands within less than 2 years , lost over 1500 in 10 minuites once stupid stupid stupid so i know how you feel , never felt so sick, i know the addiction is hard to beat even after you have realised its pointless to gamble , but what i would say is keep going and something inside you will click , and you will fight harder than ever then , and then with knowing its pointless with the extra fight inside you to stop with whats clicked inside you that makes you want to stop more so than ever and the fact that your gonna keep going until you beat this addiction , i believe that this way of thinking you can beat this addiction , sorry to rammble and not trying to preach ,just hoping to help, thanks simon

Thanks Simon, that really did help. And you're right, of course.

Head returning to normal. It's not an illusion, I know it's getting better, been here before...the fog that enveloped me the last few weeks has finally gone. Don't want to gamble. Have to face up to the post-apocalypse financial situation...very bad. In the short term ok because I've managed to get most of it on 0% deals. But they'll expire sooner or later and then I've not really got any way to pay of the capital.

For now, though, recovery and get a couple of months under my belt.