Hi all
I am a compulsive gambler who since joining has struggled to stop or even cut down my habit. ...If anything it's getting worse.......until last night.
I had a few drinks is was a friends birthday and stupidly we went to the casino. I never bother with casinos I normally do online so never barred myself - how stupid am I?!?
Went in and borrowed 300 quid after saying I didn't want to play for the first 10 minutes (trying to hide my addiction)
I caved and ends up turning the 300 into 800 and then lost the lot again. I could tell by the look on my friends face they thought I was nuts and basically possessed and maybe even questioned if I had a problem. The look and feeling that night was just one of pure disgust and shame.
Getting home at 3 am when I had to be up at 6 to work. Going and blowing more money I could t afford to when I could have treated my girlfriend to the new sunglasses she wanted for the holiday she is going on with her amazing perfect boyfriend next week.
Today I have had my head shaken and grown a pair. I wrote a letter last night on the back of the casino self ban form I completed now I banned for 2 years and left it on the table for her to read when I was at work.
I grabbed it be for either went the work and decided to text her instead. She is mad naturally and wants to talk which I thought I would dread but to be honest I am excited about getting it off my head. This burden and strangle on my life I have had for 7 years is finally feeling like I can shift it now she knows.
If she sticks by me I will not let her down. I will not gamble anymore
Thanks all for reading
Hi Gboy 92!
Good to see you posting here and showing signs that you are ready to face this addiction properly. The fact that you have told your girlfriend and you have exlcuded shows your serios and is an excellent start. There are further steps you could put in place such as signing up to the exclusion scheme and giving money to a trusted member fo family/friend - us gamblers have a nack for finding a way around exclusions and new sites opening etc, so its good to get on top of this!
Hope this helps - and hope all goes well with your talk later. Feel free to check into chat tonight, the people on here are incredibly supportive!
Athena
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