Moving on..Day 1 and on

Thanks again for your support Sandra and Feb.

Just a quick update.

I'm doing well. The realization that I don't need to gamble is dawning in on me every day. As talked of before, the only thing I really experience since tackling my gambling problem is the shame and guilt of it. Not so much shame and guilt about losing money, but more the time I put into gambling and the loss of myself to an addiction.

It's strange thinking back from where I am now. I'm a completely different person to the old person I was, when I gambled.

Can't say I really give a thought to gambling these days. How times have changed, eh?

Anyway, not going to be posting so much, if at all bar small updates in future. Any urges creep up, I'll return to this diary, but for now they're gone.

I now see gambling as I did before I got hooked on it..that is, something I don't have the time of day for and a complete mugs game. I am a mug no longer 🙂

All the best

Alex

Hi Alex thanks for encouragement as I start my journey from a fellow mug no more hitthefanx

This is me off and gone for a while. Having a self-imposed break as gambling at the moment isn't an issue, as I no longer have the urge to gamble nor want to.

Just wanted to thank everyone for their help over the last 1 1/2 years and wish everyone the best for the future.

Thanks and bless you all.

Bye for now.

Take care Alex - you know where we are so keep in touch from time to time.

Feb. x

Hey Alex,

I know you are not posting as much these days, just dropping by to say hello and send you best wishes in ur ongoing recovery and life all together.

Take care and be kind to yourself

Sandra x

Thanks very much, Sandra. That's very thoughtful of you. 🙂

I can say I'm definitely doing well on the not gambling front and at the moment don't miss it at all. There's been the odd thought here and there, but these are so few and far between and my attitude to gambling has changed so much I ignore them. Plus, right now, I couldn't afford to gamble if I wanted to anyway, which coincidentally is partly down to my old gambling life. A bit of a kick in the gonads that last one, as I never thought that gambling when I started would have such life changing consequences, but it has and I just have to move on.

At the moment, I'm just trying to rebuild my life. So far, so good!

I actually wanted to just post to urge others on. I see a lot of new faces here since my departure, which is good, as the way I see it is the first step in beating this is to face the problem. Beating this malarkey might seem hard but it gets easier down the road. No one person can not do this. It's achievable by every problem gambler in my opinion. Don't give up, giving up!

Till next time (whenever that will be?)

Alex

Still going strong. Must be 5 months now, but to honest I don't really count in days anymore, as I know I can't gamble and wouldn't do it if I had the chance either.

Whilst I'm still dealing with some of the after affects of it all, I'm much happier for having faced up and dealt with my problem.

Till next time.

Alex

Hey Alex

Lovely to hear from you again and see that you are still going strong in your abstinence - me too!! I have now decided to do monthly pay day updates now, instead of weekly updates. I am still signing in and reading and commenting on others diaries though. Can act as a good reminder of how gambling can destroy our personal goals and how much better we are when we are not committing to it.

Take care and look after yourself.

Until next time.

Feb.

Hi Alex,

Good to see your post today. Keep doing what you doing, you are worth so many good things in your life. I am well happy for you,keep it up and all the best to you.

Until next time and take care 🙂

Sandra x

Still get the odd thought of gambling again recently, then the sinking realization of what could happen if I did, knowing what happens from experience. Chances or odds are against me doing so, right now. Been six month nearly since my last slip. Feels great to be free of it, having felt as though at times I was well and truly in its ***. I sought escape, I guess. I liked risk, the thrill of what would happen next. Then playing to lose. How crazy can you get in this lark?

Finding it hard to believe my gambling problem started 3 years ago, this month. For the best part of a year I felt so trapped, then gave in to the simple truth that I had a problem with it and needed to stop. Thankfully, despite the odd slip, persistence was key and now despite the odd dim thought of a flutter I'm still bet free.

Wishing all those keen to stop the best in their journeys ahead.

Still fighting on.

-Alex

Hi Alex,

Thank you so much for your kind and supportive message. Not many of you who was around at the start of my journey posting these days so seeing your name pop up really put a smile on my face. Yep, I can't believe it's been over a year since I joined this site but it was a year I will never forget. Constant fight towards better future. Slips are only slips, I finally got it in my head, but choice is ours to make, so life is well better without those blips anyway.

Hope all is good with you. Your last update really is full of determination and strength. Keep it up my friend, the future is in your hands. Keep making the right choice and be proud! Keep fighting the good fight 🙂

Sandra x

Have had a minor setback. I've put on a couple bets during the world cup. I say minor setback as whilst I'm disappointed at myself, I've only put on twenty quid, which I can afford to lose. Problem is of course,as many will know, betting is a chain reaction and another bet could follow. The bets I have left are still open, which is annoying. I wish I'd never bothered with the hassle of it all again.

Then...

Woke this morning, thinking about poker of all things. Maybe that's the old addict in me. I was going to play another tenner on that, when I realized I had set deposit limits on my account and also found out I'd have to download their poker software onto my computer. I will never, ever install that rubbish on my computer. That's what started all this.

Lesson learned. Do I really need to repeat my past mistakes? No!!!

When the bets are closed, win or lose, when the money's gone, I will be to from the site. Self-excluded.

Not going to lie. Been gambling all week on the world cup. Felt like old times, which wasn't good. The usual ups and the downs, then the comedown and the loss. Gambling constantly on my mind. Do I really need that all over again? Really? Knowing and experiencing what I have with all this, I have to say no. I have self-excluded again (thankfully the site I used made it quite easy, unlike some I've been on in the past).

On the plus side, my gambling was controlled and there are no major losses and I'm not upset or emotionally battered by it. I'm only down 30 quid, which is still a lot of money to me personally, but money I didn't need it to lose like this.

A lesson learned, again.

Can I go the rest of the world cup without a bet? YES.

Of course you can Alex - with good old Willpower and a little self control, you can do this!

Take care and stay safe from self destruction.

Feb.

Alex

thanks for sharing some insightfull words into the change in mindset caused by the return to gambling.

The financial side of things for me is way down on the list of why total abstinence is the way for me to live a better life.

Top of my list fella is the mindfook I gift myself when I gambled,if I was not physically gambling I was formulating ways to either gamble or lie and cheat my way out of the losses.

I hope you do what gifts you your own mind and none of those mindfooks.

Duncs stepping forward never back