Mr Grumpy: Round 3 and a half

Hi Jon

Thanks for the post. Appreciate where you are coming from in that vast majority of addicts want and need to completely stop, regardless of their addiction type. I know it helps for many to 'hate' gambling and all connected to it in their recovery. Me, I'll never be able to think that way.

In my 3 years on here there are others who have aimed to control gambling not completely stop so its not just me but maybe I post more than others and have been on here longer so others are not so visible. I am determined to buck the trend as I have finally reached a point where in my head random gambling causing significant problems and and sports betting as a simple hobby are completely separated in my mind.

I definitely dont want to be the cause of others relapsing, Many others on here have quoted that if someone reads a post, sees an advert on TV or in a newspaper or whatever, its up to the individual whether to act on it, the media or me or another poster shouldnt be to blame...

Also there are loads of other posts on here I could quote which if so inclined could lead me (and others) down paths which would not help our recovery and would give us new problems in other areas of life.

Having said this I do take your comments on board though.

Best wishes with your recovery.

Hi Jon

Thanks for ur post had a fab time at the norbreck

Read ur post on captains diary and ur entitled to ur opinion for me that's what makes this site work a good debate now and again to keep the interest up

Ultimately though all that matters is our own recoveries and ur over 150 days now and that's a great achievement really pleased for u

Castle2

Nice to see you around mr b,

Back to school soon ?

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”

― Terry Pratchett

Lol

X

Lol, as you suspected I have been keeping that one in the back pocket.

I am afraid I can't post great music like you and rach well I could but it wouldn't be to your taste, but I could post mr pratchett all day .

I am afraid no dancing on tables, those days seem to be gone and I don't miss then. But there was plenty of neoprene and wetsuits lol.

Getting in touch with the outdoors and dragging my teenager away from her ipad and iPhone .

“Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.”

― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

X

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6YKJX-dXIM

OK... feel like splurging.

I only post after having had a drink nowadays, and whilst that has seemed a little more frequent recently, I have had very few drinking sessions during my long holiday.... for one reason or/and another.

Tonight is my pre going back to work on Monday drink... and I am having a good time listening to " Inca Roads" via the Tube played by Dweezil... can't stop listening to it... compulsive or what... !

So... 163 days apparently... not sure if the longest.. probably, but certainly the safest...

I hear a lot of people on here say that this addiction is with us for the rest of our lives... and I am sure that for new people reading that kind of statement it is as scarey as hell... it was for me. The thought of a never ending hell.... ( when people say after 5 years of not smoking that they would still kill for one sometimes, is a pretty scarey concept for someone who wants to stop... same with gambling) It is very difficult to describe that feeling, that feeling of actually being able to cope readily with those urges and still recognise that the battle will never be won... but there is a vast comfort zone there to be had.. with care taken.

I am at a place where I find myself suddenly noticing that I haven't thought about gambling/... which of course IS thinking about gambling... but a much easier version of it.

I don't post much because at stages in my recovery I found that the only time I thought about gambling was when I came on here to post. I use this forum differently now, but realise that if I need support... should it all go ar se over t*t... then this is the place to be.

Anyhow, back to "Inca Roads"... Zappa plays Zappa is on at Bridgewater Hall on the 20th of November... anyone fancy going?

Gambling recovery is not only about not gambling... its about recovering friends, family, moments... those that we lost whilst we were zoned in. And if we don't make an effort to do this, we will find it all too easy to slip back in.

Jon

PS- "Remember -- that which does not kill us can only make us stronger."

- "And that which does kill us leaves us dead!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum)

Is that Bridgewater ..Madchester? Lol

Hey Jon..Friday night has turned into wuss night for me as I'm sparko by 11 with all this workaholism I do.

Zappa..wow..that's a coincidence as only talking about him on Thursday ..or more so Moon Unit ..lol

Did you know that like Prince he has about 40 yrs of unreleased music in his archive in the event of his death ( which I know he has died now) ..unreal eh? And also he was against drugs of all kinds wasn't be? Even though some of his tracks I think..Blimey ...good job he wasn't on acid or something as it could have sounded even more way out.

Anyhooo...I'm still in bed rambling ...time for coffee and toast..

For some reason last year I always thought you lived daaaan saaaaf ...but I'm guessing your north of me and Ms B ..

Xxx

R and D xx

Ps

My pal in work played this ALL day Thursday..lol ..and yes he did do major drugs in his 20s lol ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9U-Rzd7Lqs&sns=em

Pink Floyd - Bike animation

Pps..not sure if you saw my post on solfeggio frequencies bit floyd also onto it and incorporated it in many of their songs...like "Sound" ..

Great post Mr B on captains diary, SC induced or not !!

People don't like change. But make the change fast enough and you go from one type of normal to another.”

― Terry Pratchett, Making Money

Onwards on Upwards Eh

take care

el blonde one x

Thanks for the post.

Nice to encounter someone else living Groundhog Day. You are right about making change happen instead of waiting. At the same time there are limitations when you are on your own leading a solitary life and dont mix well with people and have very few identified interests. (despite having looked and researched for many years and some things I've tried and been there a short time and couldnt wait to get home)

I could easily describe in more detail my life history of reasons and excuses for my current predicament.

Agree that nothing changes if nothing changes and hope I can feel and exhibit change and improvement sometime soon and that groundhog life doesnt continue for years to come.

Also agree there are lots of gamblers who are lonely. Many loners turn to gambling as a hobby because you dont need others to participate. For some that works really well, did for me for a while but it doesnt work if you are compulsive.

Best wishes

Hey Jon

Thanks for that cool song,..I love it and the words also make more sense ...

trying to reboot DJ Friday but blummin youtube have changed their format and I haven't got this adobe thing..

I can't work out how to post on my iPad now since they've changed it unless I go back to emailing myself and copy and paste ....

Might give that a go now in fact ...

R and D xxx

Come back !!! Miss your posts x

Hi mr. Not so Grumpy now, stop pickin your nose and listening to songs on your laptop, yes PPA's over. Always thought about you Jon, every time that Southern Comfort advert came on with that man in the hairdressers, always thought about you! Seriously though I hope you're well, you seem much more positive and relaxed in your posts. You made all the right decisions and put plans in place, I know from personal experience how hard this is to initiate. Good on you Jon. I'll leave you now to copy and paste plans how to tessellate christmas decorations.

All the best

Noel

Hey Jon

Found your diary ..thought you'd deleted but I typed in under topics not authors! Doh!

Very predictable I am....lol

Loved that last part of the clip and was getting all metheny- esq..at the end with the Glocks..I love how with no words the music speaks ...

I'm a big jazz head...also love a bit of Ornette and David Sanborn..may have to post a link now..

Check out Song X by Pat Metheney Group as I think he must have been inspired by Zappa!, it's almost like it's slightly off key. ..crazy ..

Simon Rattle meets Dweezil could be next ...!!! Crazy collaborations . Com

...Song X

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d66Ytt2g7ns&sns=em

100 days! Ha time flies when you're on drugs. Nah, seriously I've been mad, mad busy working. Haven't been reading much just plodding on and letting the days drift into weeks. How could you Jon? You let me get close to you and then you hit me with that unforeseen bombshell, reminiscent of that unforgettable self outing in 'The Crying Game,' how could you not tell me sooner you were a Manchester United fan. Maybe I was naïve but to me you seemed so coherent, so normal. Yet like the aforementioned great film I wasn't going to let a little thing like that ruin our relationship. Seriously though, I'm not a bitter Red, I even cheered when Norman Whiteside curled in that shot to win the FA cup against the filthy blues back in the wonderful 80's.

My mates are mad on Zappa, always have been since knee high and they always go to see his son in concert when he's on at Liverpool, last year they got to go back stage and meet him, said he was very friendly and a decent bloke. Matthew Wright was there as well and they said he was off his titts.

The big 50 eh, congratulations, life starts from now on. Won't be too long before I join you. You're at that age now where you'll start growing hair where you shouldn't grow hair, all good though. I don't know if having a birthday on the 24th is a good thing though, I'd feel like I was missing out somewhat and I imagine ordering a strippogram at that time of year would prove costly.

This time tomorrow I hope you're on the way to getting thoroughly drunk, surrounded by the cheap booze and chocolates the kids have got you. You deserve it methinks. Always a great time of year.

Things my end are still going well. I don't know how many days I haven't gambled for now, I made a chart where I cut out sheep and pinned them to the wall for every day, yet when I go to count them up I get to around 100 and fall asleep, don't know why. It'll be 2 years this April so I'm happy with that. I don't miss the despair and self loathing a bit. Just have to keep busy and occupied, body and mind and eventually the urges dissipate. Better go now Jon, one more hour of work and then I'm turning in, hope you have a lovely birthday, Christmas and New Year and your talented kids do too.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.