Hi all,
first time posting here. Bit of a story but stick with it.
I first started gambling 7 years ago. I am strictly a sports betting man. I love sport, not for the gambling just for the love of the game, anything from football to tennis to athletics,nba rugby or golf. 7 years ago the worst thing imaginable happened......I won big with my first bet. if I'd have lost would that have stopped this journey?
At the time I'd finished university and like every other graduate I thought I was going to be the next guy to make a load of money. little did I know I was one of 70000 grads that year in my city and getting work was difficult. so I went back and worked in healthcare where I was before uni, pay was decent, prospects and managers weren't.
I moved into a rented house with 2 of my best friends, big gambling culture amongst us.
fast forward a few years and I meet a lovely woman (majority of these stories tend to have a good woman invloved). We plan to spend our lives together and this is where the decit begins......
I gamble every day and night. at work at family dinners even Christmas day. Looking back now it seems pathetic.
After a few years of not having enough money, my girlfriend speaks to my parents and it came out I was in debt. not a massive amount but enough. my mother's dad was a gambler, died before I was born but we would have got on well!
I lie to my parents and say I've just overspent and it's all down to the kids, holidays, gf etc. They bail me out. Worst thing to give an addict is a clean slate with no consequences.
fast forward to yesterday and I have no money 10 days after payday. my gf realises and demands the truth so I tell her. The first time I said I am a gambling addict out loud was such a strange feeling of a weight being lifted and a mountain of shame all at once.
my mum and dad find out and they are devastated. with my grandad gambling away all the electricity and food money it would have been easier to tell my mum I was addicted to crack or h*****s.
so, to my surprise they stand by me, ask me to cone home, go and see a gp and speak to someone about the debt.
So today is where the journey begins. I have read so many diaries on here and although it saddens me that others are in this position, it does give me hope.
my girlfriend has promised to stand by me which makes her one of a kind in my eyes.
take care,
A
Hi A
Welcome to this forum, although I obviously wish you did not have to be here.
Sounds like you have a great family and girlfriend who will support you. Just do not kick that support back in their faces by taking advantage of them and ever gambling again. You have done one of the hardest things which is to come clean. Get some blocks in place so you find it hard to gamble - it is virtually impossible to prevent someone 100% from gambling but you can make it difficult which might give you time to overcome the urge. You also need to find another way to manage your finances - you can't have unmonitored access to money anymore.
You have messed up in the past like most of us on here which we can't change. We can however change our futures which can only be better by not gambling.
Ask questions and vent your ideas - there are a lot of experienced and supportive peolpe on here who will help you.
Good luck and keep posting.
Hi A ,
three words - Gamstop, Gamstop and Gamstop
absolute revelation for me and probably making the difference
brilliant that youve got the support of family and the missus , lots of people fight this battle alone so you already got a massive advantage, all the best
thank you both for your replies.
I will definitely not take their support for granted. the main aim is to be someone they can trust again.
I will definitely look at gamstop. I've put as many blocks as I can at the moment, self excluded from all my usual sites and told my family how much money I earn. the problem before was that once all my bills were paid I assumed every remaining penny was a donation to betting sites.
So after it all came out, my family advised I take some time off work, feels like a bit of a double edged sword today. The time to settle and plan going forward is nice but I'm also sat replaying all the times I've lied and let people down.
going to do some exercise try and keep myself distracted with Netflix etc today.
day 3 keeping strong.
take care,
A
Day 4......
All the blocks in place. Feeling ok. Sent a sick note into work, after having 5 sick days in 10 years with the company it disappointed me that I'm that guy, but healthy mind comes first I suppose.
no feeling of wanting to gamble. The impatient me wants the debt gone today but I know that's what got me where I am,so slow and steady it is.
Yesterday and today I am feeling the love for sport coming back, wasn't bothered by cards, corners goals in the match last night and just enjoyed the game.
Come on England.
Take care,
A
Day 5....
Feeling pretty mixed today, no thoughts of gambling but my parents have cancelled their week away as my mum (who has always worried too much) thinks I will do something stupid. no thoughts of that either.
on a brighter note went out running this morning made me feel good.
watched the footy last night and although it wasn't the result I wanted still proud. not sure a world cup will ever open up like this again for England but you never know!
waiting for a counsellor to ring me back for an assessment today. Also got my stepsons open evening tonight so another good positive for the day.
Take care,
A
Did you exclude from gamstop it really is a must your doing well. Like me i only do sports betting. Ive multi bookie self exluded which covers all of the bookies i n your area plus gamstop which blocks most of the online upto five years. It just stops temptation cause u will get it again goodluck
Day 6.....
christer, thanks for your reply. yes I've excluded from every site I've ever used, signed up to gamstop too. this might sound daft but I've never in my life been in a bookies shop, always done it online. Just doesn't interest me going in. I will speak to them though as now the avenue of betting online has been taken away the temptation may arise to go in. good luck to you too.
so last night I came back home to my gf and step sons after 3 days at my parents. she had a list of questions that were tough to answer but being honest is the only way forward. Not sure how I would be doing without her support. missed her and the kids a lot.
told her to come on this website and have a look around. she was shocked at some of the stories but it gave her a better idea of what I was going through. it also gave her an idea of what to look for if I was struggling again, she didn't see it coming so didn't know the behaviour.
As a plan going forward I've given her complete access to my finances. Being transparent with that going forward will help massively. No one has ever known my monthly wage before so it was easier to lie.
it feels so good to be back home, time to build some bridges.
my gf said she had to confide in someone, she chose her sister. To my surprise she was really supportive, said it could be so much worse and we can work through it together. don't get me wrong Sunday dinner could be a bit awkward at first but it can only be positive after that.
got a few things to chase today and then hopefully catch some of wimbledon later.
one of the things to chase is my 1-1 counselling session, not sure what to expect but all part of the process.
Take care,
A
1 week.....
feeling pretty down today. woke up and my other half said we would go to Chester for a day out. I don't really deserve that and cant get over how supportive she is.
still no thoughts to gamble but I won't stop posting here.
spent the morning flicking through Facebook banning adverts of gambling companies from my newsfeed.
never noticed it when I was gambling but every other ad on tv, radio and social media is about betting. they don't make it easy but I won't crumble.
have a good weekend.
A
so, obvlious to the gambling world after quitting every WhatsApp group, fb group etc, it's race day in Chester, people dressed to the nines everywhere. I needed a test but not people putting race tickets under my nose. what doesn't kill us........
never been into horses, always been a lottery to me. a high odds horse could easily win but a high odds footy team very rarely does. no desire to get involved.
enjoying a few beers in lovely Chester and then back home.
Take care.
A
Day 8......
quiet day for me today. looking forward to watching wimbledon and the wc final.
got my telephone assessment on Tuesday for the counsellor. hopefully that will get to the cause of the problem and set me on a better path.
have a good Sunday.
A
Why do you need a test? Why do you consider a trip to a gambling saturated venue a treat?
If you've given up, you've given up. Testing your resolve at a race meet or indeed around any other form of gambling is playing with fire.
I wasn't at the races, it wasn't an intentional test, didn't know anything about them until I got off the train for a day out with my other half.I meant to see how I would react in that situation. We went nowhere near the races. the last thing I want to do is play with fire.
i have given up.
A
Thankyou initiunovum 🙂
Its only when the s**t hits the fan and you take that step back and actually take along hard look at what youve done and how it affects those around you that you finally realise this has to stop.
Like any addiction recovery is harder than we all thought and ive been what i like to call a functioning gambler,as i always manage to get round not having any money and getting things paid eventually.
One day and one step at time,things can only get better from here,with strength,determiantion,support and all blocks in place we can and will succeed.It will take time and who knows what else but we can get through this.
Stay Strong
Lib
Day 9.....
not much to report today. no thoughts to gamble which is good.
trying to sort the money problem today. Not a pleasant task but it needed doing.
looking for to my telephone assessment tomorrow with healthy minds, hopefully it will be worthwhile.
Take care,
A
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