Hi
Day 171gambling free that is very powerful.
The ideal situation is to be emotionally detached from all the feeling towards our addictions and obsessions.
The disgust the shame guilt hatred are not very healthy feelings to burden our self with.
To understand that before recovery we felt we had no choices.
The more time and energy we place in to our recovery writing down our needs, writing down our wants, writing down our goals the more focused we are towards our recovery the less time we live in the pains of our past.
Your expression that it still feels you are skating on thin ice is a very healthy to understand that at times you are still emotionally vulnerable.
Once we face our emotional triggers more and more we will feel much less emotionally vulnerable.
There was a time when my escape into the gambling world was the only thing I thought I could do.
Now today you have many more chices in your life, gambling was one thing you do not want in your life today.
When I went gambling I always made thinsg much worse and more painful
In the recovery program I learned to interact rather than react in very unhealthy ways.
In the recovery program I learned to heal my pains, face and reduce my fears.
In the past my fears driving me in to quick escape was both very painful and very costly to my well being..
Looking after your self by giving up unhealthy habiits no drinking no smoking no drugs giving those very unhealthy habits you are showing that you are starting to care and respect your self.
That is very healthy.
It was over twenty years ago I gave up smoking I gave up drinking tea an coffee and over time I gave beating myself up and calling myself names.
Going from lost confused to getting more healthy clarity in your life today is very powerful.
Love and peace to everyone
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
Day 227,
honestly for 40 days it was easy to obstain but in the last two weeks I was under ton of pressure and was close to relapsing several times. Kinda scary to realise I still have these pathways in my brain to escape from the stress through gambling. It P****s me off i thought I atleast kind of got rid of it but literally on the verge of relapsing I had to yell at myself out loud and remind myself why i don´t want to start gambling again but man it was hard. People around me don´t know about my problem and sometimes they bring up gambling related questions because its kind of related to my work but maan it triggers me, but what can you do, I can´t tell em...
There should only be a handful of hard days coming, I pray to get over it without resorting to gambling, pleease.
Day 273, on the first day i couldn't tell you if i can get over 14th day mark, it feels amazing to be GF for this long. I got through some tough times without resorting to gambling as a coping mechanism, that's what really makes me happy.
At the lowest moments the thing that kept me away from gambling is the hatred I have for all the companies and people that promote gambling, I don't want to give them even a f*** cent, hope all their casinos and online servers burn to the ground. All the lives they destroy without giving a f.
My heart hurts from all the pain we addicts bring to our families through our actions. I wish all the pain of our loved ones could simply disappear but it's a long process. Keep fighting brothers and sisters.
Hi Mark
Once we are able to abstain from unhealthy habits.
We exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits we become more self sufficient.
Idealy we want to be emotionally detached from all feelings and emotions towards our addictions.
Idealy no more anger.
Idealy no more fears.
Idealy our pains are healed.
Yet the simple truth we are nto able to heal our paisn if we do not acknoweldge them.
I would not still be in recovery over 52 years if I did not get some thing from it.
I am an equal to all people in the recovery no matter when a person had their last last.
It took time to slow down and take thinsg easier.
The simple truth was I was my own worst enemy.
Dave L
Hi
The ideal situation is to be emotionally detached from Gambling and unhealthy habits.
Nothing healthy is achieved by being consumed with unhealed pains and unhealthy fears.
Keep up your efforts in to healthy living.
Today gambling has no attraction to me today.
regards Dave
Hi
Ideally we need to be emotionally disconnected from all feelings towards our addictions and obsessions.
Having hatred towards addictions would indicate you are still living in the pains of your past.
The gambling establsments did not make us do some thing we at some time could not help our self from stopping.
If other people want to gamble in safe ways that is their choice not mine today.
As we open up more and get more hionest with our self our fears reduce and our trust grows.
As we exchange one unhealthy habit at a time in to a healthy habit we fill our time with more healthy actiosn and healthy words.
We fill our life with more productive activities.
As our fears reduce we open up more towards intimacy with healthy like minded people.
We no longer want to be time wasters.
In time we heal our pains adn reduce our fears so that we reach a point by our own words and actions we feel succesful in our self.
Living a healthy life we no longer live in guilt shame or regret.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Yes once we understand that we were reacting in unhealthy ways much earlier in ou rlife.
The addictions obsessions were just the symptoms that we were not very healthy.
Each time we break out we start to understand our emotional triggers.
Thank you for your comments.
Dave L
Posting 1 year later gambling has no impact on my life and although my journey is not over yet, i am truly happy and grateful to this community for the help and kind words everybody provided. <3
Hi
The word recovery for me means healing my pains.
All ther time I am saying I am fine or not so bad I am hiding my pains.
I used to say that work stressed me out.
It was my unhealthy reaction to my work place that I was not dealing with in ahealthy way.
All the time I remained consumed by unhealthy habits I was causing my self more pains.
Only by abstaining could my pains start to heal.
I caused my family a lot of pains.
By sticking with the recovery program helped me become aware that I could live a much healthier life with out reacting in so many unhealthy ways.
Just for today only I do not want or need to gamble.
For me to gamble is the path to self destruction.
In time I exchanged every unhealthy habit in to healthy habits.
My lies indciated how much pain and fear I was living in.
In the recovery program the mention of religious I use to react to in unhealthy ways.
In the recovery program I found it raised more questions than answers.
All the clean time we have had is not lost we have lived it.
The more time the more effort I put in to my recovery the sooner I got the rewards on the recovery and healing program.
All the time I was connected to the recovery program I was improving and healing my pains.
The addictions and obsessions only indicated that I had certain emotional triggers.
Take care everybody.
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