Alexis
fella great to see you posting your thoughts, more glad you took my post for the way I intended it, what I was writing came from the bottom of my heart.
Regards my thoughts regarding you associating the forum with loss, I was trying to convey the fact that you contribute a great deal when you are posting, the two prolonged periods in which you posted seemed to build your own confidence to make a choice that does work for you.
Then you fell from the forum without notice and in your return I am simply hoping you use the forum again to promote your own belief, whatever that path, I believe here you are like a sponge using all the amazing information to make a more educated choice.
That choice has to be yours, recovery only works if you are in charge.
regards the stakes being raised I will add this, it is said the compulsion to gamble is a progressive addiction, as the stakes get raised to retain the 'buzz' I myself progressed from less than £5 a spin on the fobt to eventually a ton a spin, anything less felt like a waste of time, in turn the emotional damage grew with each episode as did the losses.
Whatever you decide fella I hope you stick around.
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Alex,
I am really sorry to hear that you have had another bad episode with gambling. I really feel for you and know only too well how horrible that sickening feeling is when we know that we played too long and lost too much and broke all our own promises.
Only one person on this forum will tell you that you can continue to gamble in a controlled fashion. I don't believe we can and either do the people on here who have managed to turn their lives around.
I used to believe I loved football bets and I loved playing roulette. It was false. I have had periods of abstinence where I really did not miss the participation. It is our heads messing with us.
I think you are a lot like me and I just believe deep down that if you stop and stay stopped even for just a few months you will be a different person with different views on life.
There appears to be two groups of people on this forum and most self help forums. One group give up something and feel absolutely positive about the change and embrace life. The other group give up something and mope about their decision and believe they are depriving themselves of something that they "enjoy". They never fully recover and instead go through life pining for something that they so badly wanted to give up. This can happen with drugs, alcohol, gambling, smoking etc.
Give up gambling for good and be positive about it and I promise you the difference in your life will amaze you.
Tomso.
Alexis,
Just to add to recent posts on your diary which referred to me:
1. Duncan's posts on in January and on 10 March which referred to me gave a completely accurate description (thanks Duncan )
2. re Tomsos post earlier today, I need to qualify some in accuracies:
a. I do not tell anybody that they can continue to gamble in a controlled fashion. Although this is how my recovery has gone, I advise anyone who has a problem to eradicate their problem areas and if the best route is complete abstinence, then go for it. I accept that is the best route for the majority.
b. I am not the only person on the Forum who is in recovery and chooses to continue to gamble in some form (Nipped and Castle are two other examples, there have been others. I accept I am the one who has been longest in recovery on here with a goal to only cut out problem areas and continue with areas of gambling which do not cause me a problem.
I do not and will never subscribe to the view that everyone finds life wonderful after quitting gambling. For some that will be true, for others not.
My view is that if gambling caused all your problems and if you have other things in life that give you happiness then quitting gambling means everything can be good for you.
If gambling was not the cause of all of your problems or if you do not have other events, activities, interests etc which make you happy, then removing the problematic gambling areas will improve your finances but not necessarily you life.
I have never wanted to give up any gambling. I had to because I couldnt control it. I enjoyed it. I loved the buzz. But I couldnt carry on losing all my money, so I have learned to live without it.
Do whatever is best for you, everyone is individual.
Plenty to think about, thanks SO much guys. Nice to hear from you Captain.
I shall mull over and continue my thoughts and summaries in the very near future.
For now, I shall sleep zzZ
Today has been a great day. Make today great for you! 🙂
Good morning ; )
Alexis
Hi Alexis, I think this might be my first post on this forum but I was reading a couple of recent posts and think I may be able to offer you some advice. I'm here because I just lost about £500-600 on online blackjack all because I won $300 then lost it playing poker. The reason I was playing poker was pure boredom having decided to give up again a few months ago.
The reason I thought I would post is that I too used to play on the very same poker site. I used to play those big tournaments and had moderate success. I final tabled a few of them and had a good few wins over $10k. It's not that the money wasn't enough for me, it's that I let those results persuade me I was better than I was and I imagine it would do the same to you. You know you have the skills but in all honesty it's only very very few people who make money in the long run. One year I had winnings of over $100k just from online tournaments, which was great until I saw my profits were about $100! Having stayed off it a while I found now i actually find online poker pretty boring (which is probably why I went for the quicker blackjack fix). I reckon you would too if you stayed off it a while.
I know this was very rambly and I apologise, but the short answer is try not to get suckered in by the glory of poker - it's not worth the damage
Alex,
How you doing buddy. I hope things are peaceful in your life. Real happy you are back here. It can only be a positive thing that you are back posting. Things will work out for you. If not, it can only be a matter of time before you write a hit song and tour the world as a solo guitarist and singer earning a fortune.
Tomso.
Hi alex. I somehow stumbled upon your diary and thought id ask how you are. Hopefully you will read this.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
