Where to start?
I am 22 years old and for the last 3 years I have been addicted to gambling on online slots. I have lost thousands of £.
Firstly my mother helped me out by loaning me £5000 to pay of payday loans and credit cards. I then relapsed and my mother loaned me £3000 after that I took out all the same payday loans again. I feel so gulity as my mother works so hard for her money and has nothing to show for it as I have taken all her savings. However, it never stopped me and I ended up in the same place. My brother helped me out and was able to succesful get me a loan; however the ARP was high. I can't do this myself as I have a poor credit rating and cant get accepted for a loan. It was a horrible feeling having to ask my brother to help me out. I want to never fall into this trap ever again this is the reason that I joined GamCare.
I have decided to request new bank cards from my bank and also my credit card and give all my bank cards and credit card to my mother. She will give me a weekly allowance and control my finances for me. Should I keep my credit card account open- my limit is £800, Im scared to close it as I cant get loans from anywhere eles and have no saving atm therefore I would be unable to pay an unexpect bill (car tyre etc.) I am so worried and have major anxiety due to my addiction.
My partner doesn't know about it and in a few years time we hope to apply for a morgage. I was wondering if I stop gambling today and never gamble again and start to save my money and pay off all my long term loans and increase my credit score- will i ever be accepted for a morgage or have I messed this up completely for myself? Also would it be smart to shut down all my bank accounts and start fresh bank account with clean statments or would this not be benifical to myself?
I am pretty young and really worry about what my future life holds for me. I suffer from depression and have some health issues which lower my mood this is when I feel I mostly gamble. I go on binges and borrow money from everywhere I can get it from until no where eles will give me anything. It is such a horrible addiction which I hope to beat. I am new to GamCare and would love if any other members could give me advice on my situation.
I hate myself for what I have done, I feel miserable and can't believe I have became what I am. I have let my family down and can't seem to forgive myself for doing this to them. Only one person knows the extent of my gambling addiction - my mother. I am so ashamed that I dont want anyone eles to know as I feel I would lose everything and everyone eles around me.
Today I have told myself that the 15th May 2018 is the last day I will ever gamble. I hope never to relapse every again. If I do I don't think I could do life anymore. I am mental and phsycial exhaused due to my money worries.
HS71 I too am taking a step in the right direction.
Try to come here as much as you can and share your thoughts and feelings.
We are all in this together, and I found when here previously that the support and genuine empathy that others offered helped me rack up clean day after clean day.
So we start today, together, I will watch out for your progress in the days, weeks and months to come.
You REALLY can do this !
Sbb
Hi Skyblueblue,
My plan is to log in everyday and leave me thoughts - I hope one day I am able to just be GF and not have to do this. However, atm I am not mental strong enough without the support of others. Thank you very much for your comment. I will watch and follow your journey also and give as much support to yourself as I possibly can.
The clocks have hit 12pm and today is a new day. It is day 1 of no gambling. I have big plans in the morning for when I wake up. I will pay off all my debts and start fresh as of tomorrow. I want to beat this addiction so bad however I can still visualise the last slot games I was playing and can remember the bonus games and eveything. It is strange- surely that is not normal?
Again I am still looking for advice on if I should open up all new bank account to start a fresh enabling me to apply for a morgage in the next few years, or if keeping the same bank accounts will just be as benificial?
Also do I shut down my credit card account or kept if for emergency and give my mother the card?
I really hope to improve my credit score and I hope that this addiction has not ruined all my hopes in allowing me to actually have a future life with my partner.
Today I logged onto my national lottery account to self exclude however found myself about to deposit £30. Before confirming my deposit I stopped went back and self excluded the account. This situation could have went completely wrong. I’m proud I didn’t deposit but still annoyed that I even concidered it after all the hassle I have put my family through.
Hi HS71,
Well done for coming on here and telling us your story.
Sounds like online gambling is your vice, so why don’t you look at registering for gamstop. That will start the process of excluding you from most of the gambling sites out there. There are some that are not on there yet, but they will have to be registered by the end of the year.
You are in the early days so its important to get as many blockers as you can. You say you have a credit card that you might need for emergencies. Why don’t you give it to your mum and you can go to her if/when that happens? I would suggest you tell your partner but that is a decision for you to make going forward.
Try to take the focus off all the lost money, its gone and all gambling will do is to make things worse.
You asked about mortgages....well i got one recently. Funnily enough having a large debt and paying that off can actually help you in the long term. What they look for is people who have or have had credit and pay it off without missing any payments. The only way that is going to happen is by you stopping gambling though.
You are young and I wish I had stopped when I was your age.
I wish you well.
Damo
Feel of the wagon! Gambled but this time I am up. I know this will lead back into daily deposits. Back to day 1. Gutted
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