My Diary of Shame

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(@Anonymous)
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Junie, Junie, junie, what a fantastic idea but the scenario that you've painted I've now pictured you walking in like Polly from Fawlty towers when she was pretending to be Sybil, well done for putting that theme tune to page, curly wurlys all round.

mmmm the smell of fox pee and stale biscuits forgive me if I'm wrong is that by Chanel.

great gambling opportunities for me this weekend good racing, football, rugby ect my sort of poison normally but no probs at all, perhaps it's the Terry and June factor,

keep us winning by making us smile Junie..

onwards and upwards Ginger.

 
Posted : 8th February 2015 2:59 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7071
 

Just a little hi..cause see ya around lol
Hiiiiiiiiii Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuune 😉

Hope day is going awesome for ya and no danger in sight.

Keep on skipping 🙂

S xx

 
Posted : 8th February 2015 9:27 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7071
 

Aweeee..thank you so much my friend. Yes, it is my favourite outfit, love it so much i even go for a run in it...tell ya what, better than seeing a guy on a road with his conkers hanging out from the side of the shorts while jogging 😀

Signing out cause my bladder will not hold on for long if i keep laughing so much...

Jeezzz..make sure you won't get stuck to that radiator, don't wanna burns on your back.

Later wife to be (not telling ya you're doing a mistake there lol...so just ...happily ever after is the right attitude ahead 🙂 )

Go go go girl!!!!!! You're worth it

S x

 
Posted : 8th February 2015 9:58 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi June,

Thanks for making me laugh again, with your light bulbs moment lol.

Doing more spring cleaning today as its another lovely sunny day,,CONSERVATORY WINDOWS, today lol, lucky I've got loads of skinny jeans to change into lol.

Have a lovely day and enjoy being gamble free, I am today.

Suzanne xxxxx

 
Posted : 9th February 2015 10:32 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7071
 

Hi....Ummmm...Juune 🙂

Thank you for dropping by and for your wishes. ..work is one d**n s***h*le (starred myself out to give admin a breather lol) but hey...keeps that bread on the table so not the one to complain. New staff are....ummmm..say no more but not complaining here either lol....

all is good fun in that coal face place so just gotta keep on keeping on.

Hay, hope you're well yourself. You seem to fly the nest of your diary and i see you everywhere but here lol....not complaining(once again lol) but ya know a little update from our amazing and inspiring friend wouldn't hurt 🙂 (never pressure).

d**n..came on your tread and it's like infectious place to be surrounded with light banter, plenty of smiles, serious conversations and .....just feels safe place to be...wonna swap diaries lol? You can have my depressing one 😀

Later bride to be and enjoy your day. Keep doing what you're doing it is defo working and stay safe.

(((((((One Day At A Time)))))))

Sandra xx

 
Posted : 10th February 2015 7:36 am
gav123
(@gav123)
Posts: 487
 

Hi June, good to see the form is good! Keep it up, and a themed wedding sounds cool! (and thanks for your posts)

 
Posted : 10th February 2015 11:34 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi junie,

What a lovely positive message you sent me, I can't help but continue to smile, you send me sooo much warmth and I know it's from the heart.

Take care my friend, and stay safe,

Suzanne xxxx

 
Posted : 10th February 2015 6:51 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Ello treacle! ;0)

Thanks for your post. Yes, believe it or not, I can actually read! Even though I was dragged up on a council estate in the ghettos of Edmonton. We did have a few books that got shared out from time to time!!

Hope all is going well with you and have also noticed you haven't posted that much on your own thread....?

Anyways, do whatever suits you hun.

Keep strong

Ade xx

 
Posted : 10th February 2015 10:41 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Ohhhhh Junie, it's George Formby the singer lol, not the guy with the frying pan lol lol,

and guess what one of his famous songs was wait for it, WHEN IM CLEANING WINDOWS I wished I could U tube it to here but my IPAD is very basic because of you know what lol.

Suzanneeeee xxxx

 
Posted : 10th February 2015 10:42 pm
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7071
 

Hay! 🙂

Do you ever sleep? Don't wonna keep sleep walking in those scary Lundon streets 😀

Thanx for your kind words on my diary again girl..yep, your diary is good place lol..same as this forum all together. Sometimes think as more i want to isolate as more i "need" to stay connected. Prob not much sense lol...hey ho..nothing new with this non Eenglish 😉

Another day another choice to make dear soldier..I'm sure it will be right one. Have a good day...and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep until sun rises again 🙂

S x

 
Posted : 11th February 2015 1:25 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7071
 

Lol lol..you had to didn't you ? 😉 nothing wrong with my outfit thank you very much lol..and what is Primani? ..i only do Coneys and George at Asdas 🙂
if ya want to join tbe fun, hop along to that carrier to Milton Keynes..didn't i tell you that that's where the gc gathering happening?? 😉 oopps lol... secret no more! See ya there..make sure your bring your passport lol (just in case they are struggling to guess your age....100+ 😉

Night girl
Make it 9 hrs...schallleeennnngggeeeee!!!

S x

 
Posted : 11th February 2015 1:40 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi ODAAT
No still on nights! !!! Thanks for your kind words and I will keep plugging away at the bank
Take care
Cheryl xxx

 
Posted : 11th February 2015 4:06 am
SB28
 SB28
(@sb28)
Posts: 7071
 

Hi Juune,

Thanks for dropping by and please don't worry - we can have two gatherings this year 😀 mine will be off the rockets and yours can be wedding style lol

glad to read you managed to control your urges of looking at that phone and as you say...it helped you to sleep! And that's very positive 🙂
Coneys is D&P, Mr sixties, Barmani, Gess and so on shop lol lol...all the stuff i couldn't afford lol..just remembered the labels...sigh...young days no more! Lol

Hope your day is good to ya and shall send ya a little clip as a reminder of that coming festival (ear defenders available on the request 😉 )

Take care and stay safe

S x

 
Posted : 11th February 2015 2:35 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Well Mrs D, I thought I'd drop in & offer an explanation as to why I don't post here much...

I am a big girl so am able to take or leave stuff that is said to me but I do have an abject fear of upsetting others (unless I am @ work of course & then anything goes)! I don't want to come here & harp on about how ok I am just in case people feel like I'm rubbing their noses! I have money in the bank, I have a house & a job & a car, I'm getting married this year, I have it all! The crazy thing is I had it all (except the relationship, I had no spare love for humans when I was gambling) before & yet I still gambled! I have questioned why I did it & I have not worked it out but I am lucky, I like answers but I don't need them! It doesn't matter to me why the world is round, it just is! I am not afraid to tell people that I am ashamed but I can't do one without the other!
So, I am here now & here goes...I am disgusted with myself! I have gambled for more than 2/3 of my life: thrown away inheritance, thrown away equity by remortgaging, thrown away every single penny given to me for birthdays & Christmas's, every penny of my wages that were not used on bills, money my family gave to me because Mum could not be trusted & yet recovery is so easy! Why oh why did it take me so d**n long to figure it out 🙁
I don't ever remember what I was searching for whilst in the midst of gambling, I'm pretty sure it wasn't me & yet me was what I wanted all the time.
Ade & Ginger Freud were posting the other night about depression & it is something I have pondered over the years! I guess I left it in the unanswered part of my brain because despite being lain up in bed crying my eyes out for no apparent reason on a regular basis, unable to shake the sadness & never feeling content, just as I didn't believe I had a real problem with gambling, I didn't think I was actually depressed! Depression was for my Mum & my sister, people with real problems, mouths to feed, no roof over their heads, ill or injured, not for me, just feeling sorry for myself & not being able to shake it! I think now, I probably was depressed, I couldn't change how I felt @ that time but I know now I could have arrested it!
Don't get me wrong, I don't skip everywhere, I have good moods & bad moods! The NM P's me off, the mutt is so annoying, I could kick him (I wouldn't obviously) & don't even talk about work but for some reason I quite like it...Finally, I am normal!
I will remain on my guard but today it's easy, I choose 'No' - ODAAT
 
Posted : 11th February 2015 3:23 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hey ODAAT/ June

Thanks very much for the regular contributions to my diary I must admit I'm a little bit lost on yours now maybe cos I'm a northern monkey but you seem to be having a lot of fun long may it continue and have a big following you deserve as you help so many on here.

 
Posted : 11th February 2015 3:25 pm
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