My Diary of Shame

Hi odaat, you made me smile over the shopping comment, " pick things up, put them down, pick them back up then put them down again" because I would loose all my money in the bookies walk out with just loose change in my pocket pop in the shop next door pick up an evian then put it down and pick up a cheaper own brand saying to myself "how much." that's crazy gambling rationale for you. thankfully i realise that now. stay inspiring...... onwards and upwards.....Ginger

o*g, started trying to my tax return today (nothing like leaving everything til the last minute)...Talk about shame! I had to go back through old bank statements & there are literally hundreds & hundreds of withdrawals - all with 2 zeros after the number 🙁 I stopped getting statements on paper years ago for this very reason & almost contemplated requesting the worse one just to serve as a reminder of what a fool I was! I cannot & will not go back to being that idiot!

When I think about never gambling again, it still scares me but I know I can do it if I just keep @ it - ODAAT

Hi ODAAT,

156 days of no more bank transactions leaving your account, your strength and determination shines through, even when we get little nasty reminders of our past nearly every day, but that only makes us stronger to not go back to that life that was simply hell.

You are doing great, be very proud of your days and keep doing what you are doing.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Bloody hell,I too started my accounts yesterday,I hate doing them,and going through my bank statements was a real eye opener,it's when you see the multiple withdrawals of large amounts grouped together that the addiction becomes all to apparent,how ridiculous does it seem now,it has only hardened my resolve and I hope it had the same effect on you,keep up the outstanding work!xx

Hi ODAAT well done on 156 pluss days i am quite a bit behind you and cant wait till i get there keep it going

mark

Hi ODAAT

Not a bad idea to work for GamCare, and as you say Plenty of references lol.

Take care

Suzanne xx

ODAAT well done on 157 days something most of us CG can look up to.

I'm sure you can stay gamble free, 157 + days is an exceptional acheivement. Is it a good feeling looking at a statement without any gambling transactions on it?

I am looking forward to getting a month's bank statement without any debit card transactions for gambling. January's is out the question as last transactions were on the 1st. Not looking forward to explaining to my accountant why 4k was withdrawn from my business account last week and has'nt been repaid. Plenty of other time's been taking and not repaying!

Odaat

just a quick line to say thanks so much for the kind words you wrote upon my thread,I am truly humbled by them.

You are doing something truly amazing,never forget that and too boot you have the courage to share it with other folk,your honesty will I hope continue to serve you well.

keep up the great work

Abstain and maintain

Dunc stepping forward never back

Hi ODAAT

Thanks for the support,not used to having all these mixed emotions,but as time goes by hopefully they will ease.

Many thanks again Dino x

Hi again odaat...just want to say thankyou for taking your time to connect with me in my diary....

After reading through yours it Is apperant you seem to be well into your amazing recovery journey long may it continue!!!

Thankyou again hope you have a nice gamble free day!!!

Hi ODAAT.

Thanks for your supportive post. I'll have a read through your diary when I have a bit of free time. Well done on the 150+ days. Keep it up and don't get complacent.

Curly.

Hi ODAAT,

Thanks for your supportive post on my diary.

Hope you managed to sort through the tax return ok! ;0( .......not fun eh!

Keep doing what you're doing mate, and you're dead right you can stay away from gambling. It may scare you a bit at times.....but YOU can beat it....one day at a time.....

All the very best

Ade

Morning ODAAT,enjoyed reading your diary,not in a sadistic way obviously,I mean it's very inspirational to myself and others,and caffeine addiction is a real b*****d,I knocked coffee on the head after realising I was drinking about 15 cups a day,I was Ill for days and so tired,I'm almost back to normal now and have the odd cup when I fancy one but you've done the right thing by reducing your intake slowly,keep it up,xxx

Day 160 what a phenomenal achievement. So pleased you're on here giving your support to others. Truly inspirational.

Clare x.