My Diary of Shame

Okay June, so let's get this straight. I actually now know a real life person who wears a head torch? You go girlfriend, with your frostbitten fingers and rave-ready attired mutt! How funny are you?! I've missed you too June.

I cannot believe what I am watching on TV right now - ex-Coronation St actors (Ashley and Sunita) singing karaoke whilst advertising Ga la bingo. I'm mad too, there are sooo many gambling sites advertising on TV now. I came clean (ish) to my son last week and told him about the support that I have been getting on this forum from you and others like you. I felt the need to talk to him because he told me that he had got a 50p bet with his mate at school on the outcome of the Chelsea match, and I remembered your story and how your mum had gambled in front of you so naturally, gambling became a way of life for you. So, having talked with him (he asked a lot of frank questions to which he received honest answers), immediately, he started to notice the adverts and he's mad too! Bless my boy and bless my June.

Of course you resisted the temptation at the service station! b*****d fruit machines everywhere, pah, we spit in their general direction. Don't go away again though 🙂

Rach xx

Thanks for the kind words on my diary, made me smile this morning! Love the story about your trip, sounds like you are making huge progress! I'm shortly off to work, but I will have a good read of your diary when I get home tonight.

Yes I know, I said the 'B' word and got away with it :-). I could think of better b words that I probably wouldn't get away with.

You're absolutely right about my boy helping me - he really is a star and I can't quite believe I am lucky enough to have had such a good boy. He has his moments, he thinks he's the man of the house sometimes but that's easy enough to deal with and quickly forgotten. Really, I need a man about the house to poke with a stick, I always got quite a thrill out of arguing with exes - I miss that. Perhaps once I am more on my feet I can find myself a nice northern bloke who f***s in bed and looks gormless when I shout at him 😉 I'll be in my sixties before I can afford to go out again I expect. Hmm, just realised that to anyone reading this who isn't familiar with your diary and comments, I will have just made myself look like a complete numbskull. Oh well, never mind! So, when is the big day? Will you be more than a year gambling free by the day of the wedding?

Keep up with the good advice June, ahem, sorry, ODAAT and stay safe if you're walking the pooch again tonight. Your taste in headgear and personal spot lights is of no consequence to me and has no bearing on our friendship. Snigger.

Rach x

Thanks for your post on my diary.

Hope you are having a good day sweet art!!

Keep strong

Ade ;0) x

Hi ODAAT thanks for popping bye on my thread AGAIN, you and some of the other regular posters should get some kind recognition for all the support you give.

I am sure that I m not alone when I say I really appreciate it. 🙂

Dear ODAAT,

Many thanks for your post. It really made my day.

I have been fighting this illness for so long now that I have pretty much heard all of the advice and it is more fool me for not having taken it. You are very right - self-exclusion - whilst an important tool in absaining - is not watertight. It has never worked for me. I have always found an angle. Old fashioned will power is my crutch however I appreciate this is not sufficient on its own.

It is the support from wonderful people like you who pays so much attention to other people's diaries that makes me want stay on the straight and narrow and with a great deal of pride log on and write "today I am a winner, because I not gambled."

Very well done to you on your amazing run by the way. Long may it continue. And please, no more "you have affiliations with much wiser..." You are being hard on yourself. Knowing how fifficult it is I respect and look up to you as someone who has abstained from gambling for a great deal of time and is turning their life around. You set an example that I aspire to follow. As far as I am concerned every person on this site is affiliated through their desire to overcome one common problem. If only I had the time to read every diary and have a dialogue with every person signed up to this forum. My own presence would be far more meaningful.

Wishing you the best that a gamble freelife has to offer.

Mark

Hi thanks for your kind words on my diary. Well done to you for staying strong and walking past those evil machines. Looking forward to following your profess and success. Have a happy gamble free day x

Hi ODAAT,

Being from a council estate many years ago, I'm obviously a bit slow on picking things up!! But, I am guessing from the dialogue in some of the posts above that you have been here before??....possibly under another name?.... like I said, I'm a bit slow on the uptake me old mucker!! ;0)

So, are you June from a few years back? Or was your previous moniker summink different?!?....

Oh I does like a good quiz me!!

Kind regards

Confused of Chavsville x

o*g Mrs D, I've just had to check myself as I discovered to my horror I was buzzing round like in a pre (self explanatory)/post (rushing round to try & do everything before OH got back & discovered I'd been out all day with nothing to show) gambling frenzy! The cause of this discontent, a missing hot water bottle, I'm not even kidding :-0 It is a rather nice (not a good word I'm sorry but let's face it, it's a hot water bottle) hot water bottle (mainly in that I have had it for more than 2 weeks & it isn't leaking yet) but it's a good job no-one was watching or the Feds would be on their way anticipating the worse! I poked around under the bed covers to retrieve it (that way I don't need to witness the crumpled sheet) before wafting the duvet up on the bed & showing the sheet to anyone who could see round corners & through walls into my bedroom! No sign :-0 I then ran (again not even joking) down the stairs & back up again, twice, before frantically wafting the duvet back up & even straightening out the sheet so I could check the edges - still nada! In a state of what can only be described as sheer panic, & too out of breath to run down to see if we'd been burgled, I ripped through the rather large pile of laundry (dirty) gathering by my side of the bed (only here could I be honest about that) contemplating ringing the police myself when there it was in all it's splendour wedged down amongst my cheesy socks! Just as I grabbed it the gambling correlation came to me & yeuk, I don't miss that! Obviously I think about gambling every day because this site is my new addiction & today's episode has not been remotely urge like but it took me back & left me shaking my head once more @ the state I was in!

Just for today, I will not gamble - ODAAT

Sorry Ade, that'd be me confusing things and sorry ODAAT for casting aspersions on your good name. Ade, I call her June as in Terry and June the old early 80's comedy (middle aged joke). She hasn't, as far as I'm aware, been on here under another name. I've also called her an old minger so I suppose she should be lucky that you've only picked up on June!

Anyway fingymajig, Halloween wedding - superb. Would be more fun if it was fancy dress too, you've disappointed me 🙂 How amazing is that going to feel, walking down the aisle to your lovely man knowing that you have not donated to the bookies benevolent fund in over a year. Enjoy spoiling yourself in the run up, spending all that lovely lolly that you have saved by being gf on the things that you have no doubt had to go without whilst in the grip of gambling. You're an inspiration to so many of us in the advice that you give and living the good life that you have managed to forge for yourself.

Hope you're feeling better tonight, pants days at work are about par for the course for me too but at least I don't have to share office space with any R soles. My son suffers from the same thing as your OH, he finds it impossible to actually move something out of the way to look for things. Unless it jumps up and shouts 'here I am', if it's not at the front of the cupboard, it's not being found, it's gone and it ain't ne'er coming back. Must be a male thing.

Am I banned from calling you June now?

Rach x

Oh Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnne!!! ;0) x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpY4BBxUHrE

HI ODAAT

thanks for the congrats, very pleased with my progress as you should be 186 and counting.

thankfully I don't dislike mr tax man anywhere near as much as I detest mr gamble, I don't begrudge a single penny to our wonderful NHS and brave service men and women,

but i must admit i was panicking near due date, that's now sorted recovery well on course, great to see you back flying all over the forum...onwards and upwards Ginger.

Oh my gawd !! Please tell me you ain't one of those Chelski numpties?!?!.... Being from up West an all that like!! ......

WEST IS BEST