My first diary!

Well done! Just make sure you give this addiction the respect it deserves. After just a couple of days/weeks, we can all get complacent and think we are ok. The urge to gamble can really be strong in the beginning and this is when you really need guts and determination to get through the day. Be on your guard and when you do get an urge to splurge, think of us on this site who genuinely care about your recovery. You are not alone in your recovery!

It just dawned on me like a flick of the switch! I was sitting eating lunch browsing other diaries and I thought we are here celebrating one or two days away from gambling like its a huge success! I wasn't convinced I will be honest, but suddenly I was convinced! When was the last time I went a day without gambling (prob Xmas day) when was the last time I didn't look at the days football fixtures? I can't even remember! So it just hit me im on day 4 and I'm suddenly very pleased with myself, not pretending to be pleased like I think I was yesterday but genuinely happy to have got thru almost 4 days in a row! I say to those on day 1 celebrate every mini success and use the personal triumph to get you through day 2! I'm under no illusions that it won't be desperately hard to keep this up especially with the weekend approaching! It's the grand national I can imagine I'll dream about those horses Friday night but I'm determined to win my daily battle and not succumb to this weekends temptation! Remaining determined and quietly confident!

Morning Diary,

Day 5 begins after a positive day 4 I attended my first GA meeting last night it funny how not so long ago I wouldn't have even considered attending but last night I felt like I was at home! Sure every person is unique and their triggers mayb slightly different but I was with a group which all wanted the same thing a gamble free life! I have become semi obsessed with this forum this week and yet last night was even more enlightening! One man 6 years clean and still talked very openly about being on guard every day! Kinda hits home that yes this addiction can be beaten but it will be a struggle each and every day!

Anyway, I took plenty of positives from it and I'll be at my second meeting next thursday gamble free! Even though it's not about being accountable I'm using that frame of mind to help me on my journey, I don't want to let my partner down and I want to be one of the people in the group that gets a well done for being gamble free each week! Hopefully this will work for me! Day 5 continued determination and very hopeful!

Day 6 and I'm awake early on a saturday morning this is normal routine for me As I play football but before heading out the house at 9 I would usually spend 2 hours looking at the football fixtures and either put my online bets on or work out my bets to take to the bookies! Today is not one of those Saturday's! Instead it's coffee, get my football stuff ready and a quick blast on the ps3! I couldn't even tell you one football fixture today and that Makes me happy! I want to look I really do and I want my Saturday bet but I won't because I've had 5 consecutive winning days where I havnt gambled a penny and I want to make it 6!

I've been reading many many diaries over the last few days and some of the things I have picked up and noted are both inspirational and downright sensible. I feel

Like the midget fighting a monster but everyday this week I have taken a huge run up and kicked that monster In his ankles and I feel if keep kicking then one day that monster will fall to his knees! I have read enough to understand that this monster will never fall

On his back and surrender he is just too big but if I can get him on his knees I can aim for the face and expose him for what he is an ugly inconvenience in our lives! That's kinda my thought for the day apologies for the midget terminology I'm sure I could have expressed what I meant slightly more PC!

Day 6 smiling and ready for battle!

Good post Flagg

Keep going your doing really well

Heres to a bet free life

🙂

Lucy

Morning Diary,

Thanks Lucy for your post yesterday it's nice to get the odd word of encouragement and I'll be taking more time to do the same for others from now on!

Day 7 is here which means get through today and my first week gamble free is complete! It has not been the easiest week of my life I must admit and yesterday in particular was strange with the grand national going on and not having an interest in the race from a financial perspective! However, I got through the day without mishap and it's another little battle won!

Sunday, and ordinarily this would be a big betting day for me plenty of football to lose on! I'm not up as early as most Sundays so that's helped and I'll be spending the next hour or so reading diaries on here just reminding myself that there are so many of us successfully fighting and beating this illness!

Day 7 A little tetchy but more determined than ever!

Morning Flagg,

Another day without a bet , good for you, nearly the first week over.

Try and keep yourself occupied today doing things you have maybe put on the backburner because of the gambling.

You can do this , you have to believe in yourself

One day at a time

Heres to a bet free day

Lucy

Flagg,

Well done for working through each day. Everyone on this forum knows how difficult this can be but you are doing something trully wonderful here. It is easier to give in and give up on your life but you seem determined not to do this, which is great. This is certainly not a criticism but I sense you are still slightly moping about your situation and I noticed DuncanMac asking to view your life with the glass half full viewpoint in an earlier post. I know being positive is not for everyone but let me tell you I think it is magnificent that you are willing to work hard at creating a better, happier more peaceful life for yourself. In time, you will experience total peace and happiness. One day you will wake up and realise the magnitude of your achievement and feel real pride at what you have done. The benefits are huge and the work is hard but believe me each day that passes without gambling is another day towards a greater life. No matter how you feel each night when you go to bed make sure you pat yourself on the back for the effort you have applied during the day to ensure you didn't gamble.

Tomso.

Hey Tomso,

Thanks for the post and I Take on board what you are saying its so true! 2 summers ago I started training for the London marathon and I ran virtually every day for about 4 months I was as fit as I'd ever been then I got a letter saying I hadn't been selected in the ballot this year so my running virtually stopped! I've tried to give it a go again but without much success not enough time to run when gambling day in day out!

Last week I said to myself every day tomo I will run and everyday Altho I beat the gambling urge, I did exactly what you said and moped about! So, my vow is Tuesday I will run that will be my first day (play footy Monday's) now I have said it and you have posted I almost feel accountable in a good way so Tuesday night I'll check in and post about my run! I will run and i will beat this addiction! Thanks for the little nudge in the right direction buddy!

Lucy,

Thanks again for the post I'll prob have a bit of time this afternoon where I'll need something to read to keep my spirits high so I'm going to search for your diary (assuming you have one) and read your story!

Dear Diary,

Day 8 - It feels good typing that! To the non gambler 8 days is barely a ripple but to me Its an achievement I feel like real progress has been made! I'm sitting at work this morning feeling thoroughly demotivated yet my mood is quite pleasant how often does that happen?

I'm conscious today of complacency I don't feel any urge and I'm sure nothing will happen today which puts me on guard more than any other day so far, I've read lots of diaries where people say they just found themselves back in the bookies or before they knew it they were online again! So today I will not be leaving the office at lunchtime and tomorrow I start running again!

Day 8 High spirits but on guard!

Hi there glad to hear your still going strong. keep it up. I've failed a lot before, I kept thinking im in debt anyway so a little more won't hurt and I've added so many little mores. trust me you don't wanna do it. say goodbye now and never go back. life is so much better without gambling and don't worry it gets easier with time. in time you'll let go. you'll still need to stay strong but life gets better.

I wish you a lot of luck with everything, your doing really well and I wanna keep reading your successful story.

Hi Flagg,

Thanks for posting on my diary , it really helps with the support!

I did not gamble and now feel more at peace with todays events than earlier.

You are going great guns!

Well Done and thanks again for the support it really was needed

Lucy

Good morning Day 9 how nice to see you, much rather you were day 99 or 999 but i will deal with 9 first and gradually make my merry way to the 99 and so on!

I actually feel quite good today! I've realised over the last 9 days I'm quite moody! When I was gambling I would put on a front every day never really appeared down but now I don't feel like i have to hide my feelings so much and I realised I'm a moody sod when I'm just being me! Great isn't it trying to make a better life for yourself and realise 9 days in your a miserable git!

Anyway on with the important business yesterday gamble free day number 8 today will be number 9 can't see what would make me want to today much like yesterday I will be on guard and not get complacent!

Just wanted to mention my little sister who is being very supportive at the moment! I know she reads my diary every day so it will prob make her smile to see her mentioned!

Enjoy your bet free day everyone it really is the way forward!

Day 9 comfortable but not too comfortable!

flagg.

Well done fella you have certainly removed those "gambling googles" all us compulsive gamblers wore whilst at it! The longer you leave them off the more focused life will become and you can be assured that the 100% pay rise you gave youself when you began the gamble free life will continue.

Great post on wilseys diary too good to see alot of thought being put into your recovery I am sure it will serve you well in the future.

As you say keep it up one day at a time.

Duncs compulsive gambler no bet today.