My first diary!

Yo

I was going to send you a big red bus , but here's a double decker of a different kind.

Thank you for the words , I have printed them off and put them in my recovery journal I am making .

He he he

Shiny xxxx

Hi Flagg,

Just wanted 2 say thank u 4 ur continued support on my diary it means alot. ur posts always make me think 🙂

Stay strong and keep going x

hiya Flagg..

Thanks for your support...yep..am all clear and a good constructive day....and good on you for going back in the trenches soldier.

I see you are being sent chocolate now for that manflu .....

I'd milk it a bit more if I were you....lol ..

The good ship Gamcare is well on the way and its great too see familiar names and posts around the forum isn't it.....I love how we all kind of gravitate to each other ...the crazy ones!

Well...I shall keep a ahoy lookout for you on deck my cyber friend and bid you a good night for tonight whilst I go see the shiney one with her new toy...

Hugs

Rach and Dot xx

Hi Flagg

Hope you get better soon, if not already, waiting for the party at century lane, well done and keep racking up the days

John

Morning Diary,

Day 95 - I will admit today I am a little hyper! We Have some 6th form students visiting work today and I'm doing a short presentation about my role and I've made it a little quirky to try and keep them semi entertained! I wanted to be a lecturer I decided pretty much straight after I started Uni! For various reasons mainly through gambling I have not made it and now I do a perfectly good job, good company, good perks, decent money etc etc but it's slightly below what I'm prob capable of doing! Today I'm doing even though only for 10 mins something I enjoy something I excel in, I get the nervous energy!

On that note I'm on stage in 5 mins! No gambling thoughts I might have to change that if said presentation goes wrong!

Day 95 - Hyper

Ohhh Good luck flagg. Knock em dead !!!. I do presentations quite a lot and i always get nervous just before but slide right into it within seconds of starting, the nerves are good, keeps you on your toes.

I think the Gamcare calender idea is a good one, we could donate the proceeds all 3.99 of it to charity lol... I want to be Miss August the month of sun.. yeah right... lol.

Enjoy your day and your meeting later

Blondie x

Hello Hello,

Day 96 - Well it's Friday again these days come round much quicker now week after week flying by! I said in my 90 day post it's about finding a way to live with the addiction rather than beat it and much of that is about getting into a routine, having your barriers in place, and embracing the support on offer! I'm doing most of this pretty well and providing this remains I can only see a positive future ahead!

GA meeting was interesting last night quite a big debate, and one of the older members didn't handle a certain issue very well! I think healthy debate is fine regardless of the situation! It all centred on a grey area of which I find there are a few when it comes to gambling! However, the GA way is total 100% abstination so it's inevitable there will be the odd grey area or issue of debate! I like GA and I like the group generally everyone pulls together and we all want people to do well! However, as I discussed with another member last night ultimately recovery is equally as selfish as gambling itself! We all want others to succeed and it's not nice if they slip but when broken down to the finer points it's essential we look after ourselves first!

On that note from a selfish perspective I'm ok no gambling urges or thoughts, looking forward to the weekend!

Despite what was just written I do genuinely hope everyone is ok and has a great weekend!

Day 96 - Selfish Support

Hi Flagg congrats on Getting to day 96 ! I didnt last a wk b4 a relaspe, glad ur finding GA good support, I think I might try that, also AA as I have drinking issues along with gambling, ie i drink then gamble, wont gamble without a drink! not a good combo as u can imagine! Major heavy loss y day after heavy drinking session, hopefully my last ever gamble, but i dont know how many times ive said that, but uve got to start somewhere, im going back to councilling thurs so i'll see how goes! Majorly overdrawn now and not getting paid for another 2 weeks, i was actually dry retching this morning, thinking about what i done last night, Why do we put ourselves through so much pain, i feel majorly depressed today, in work just staring into the monitor, im so fed up with what ive become! a lying drinking gambling dad! i have to change! anyway sorry about ramble but keep up the good work! nice to see people who can *** this illness! wish me luck! Thurs 12 th July 2012, my last gamble! hopefully!

Yo,

Good afternoon ,

Once again you sound like you are in a good place.

I like you think debate is good , cause I for one do not everything (although my kids and staff think I am the encyclopaedia britannia with such diverse things as curing back ache to having money transferred abroard)

So yes I like debate gets those old brain cells working, ..

Anyways all set for our date tomorrow, do don't forget ........ strong tea , very little milk , and no sugar thanks

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxx

Good Day Diary,

Day 97 - Wrote a long post last Saturday to mark 90 days and it seems like 5 minutes ago. To begin with I was unsure I would see day 7 let alone day 97. The reality is once you begin to lead a 'normal' life (I use normal as a loose term) life really does fly by and it's pretty mad isn't it! I read back through my diary and much has happened in such a short space of time. The best part of all is that I would not have done many of the things if I had been gambling. What I have realised is that the reasons are not only financial but also psychological. Gambling took my money and lots of it but not gambling has shown me it took my life (on the odd occasion almost literally). I guess the simple message is do not gamble and fight the addiction by any means necessary.

I started a little thread last night for people to check in weekly for 91 days. The reasons are highlighted on that thread. I said it's not for everyone but for some having a check in or an accountability to something spurs them on. I think the truth is we all thrive on a challenge and enjoy success. Getting through 91 days for newcomers or another 91 days for those who have been here longer is a challenge but one that can be done and WILL be done!

Off to play footy this morn for a new team first friendly game of the summer and hoping the rain holds off. I am more of a continental player flair over power and dry over wet. It's why I love the Spanish. I have been told to *** off and live there a few times hopefully in jest but prob not haha!

Anyway, it's saturday but a busy one. No thoughts of gambling today. I have said a similar thing before but for any new members reading you really can have days where you do not want or do not think about gambling! You just need to stick at it. In the beginning you think you have it worse than anyone, and the urges are stronger for you or you have gambled more days or more money than others. The truth is you have not, we have all been battered by this addiction and we all have a mammoth task to nullify it BUT you can, you really can!!

I do waffle a bit on a Saturday may be it's my way getting through it, just a thought!

Day 97 - Continental Player

Just three more days until a huge milestone for you then...

...and I hope that you have a little treat planned in store.

After all, you deserve it!

Onwards and upwards.

NT

Good Morning Flagg or is that a fantasy Messi!

Glad to see you are remaining so positive and 100 days in a couple Wow amazing!

Flagg you are so right in saying at the beginnning we did'nt know if we could have got through 7 days let alone to where we are now but you know what we are doing this and doesn't it feel just great!

Hope you managed to get through the game injury free, be sad before the season has started lol

Keep Strong Flagg your doing great!

Smiling Lucy 🙂

Hello Diary,

Day 98 - 14 weeks today or into the 2nd quarter of the year to make it sound even better. I like to manipulate the numbers to my advantage. They mean the same but look better put in certain ways.

I had a pretty good day yesterday lasted about 15 minutes at football before having to come off the man flu was still present and I was struggling. However, as it was only a friendly I was able to get back on for the second half and got a second wind so that was nice. Then I feel like I had a lightbulb moment or moments.

Since stopping gambling my mood has been very up and down and my motivation is zero. I think moods will fluctuate that's life isn't it! However, my motivation appeared to return. I got home and drew myself up a 12 week running plan. Now I have to obviously run the plan but I am that kind of person if something is there in black and white I feel it has to be done so I have great confidence I will stick to this plan.

I talked about running a few times early in my recovery but there was nothing in terms of motivation and consequently I am as unfit as I have been for about 3 years. I am going to enjoy regaining that fitness! When I log off my day 1 begins! Got my ipod at the ready and a good playlist.

No gambling thoughts today got plenty of bits and pieces to get on with. 2 days until day 100 it's not really a day I had marked off as a milestone but a few people have mentioned it and I guess written down it looks pretty d**n good so I might treat myself to an extra £1 coin in my Barcelona jar for the achievement.

Hope you all have a good Sunday.

Day 98 - Entering Non Gambling Life Phase 2

Hi Flagg

Running is a fantastic way of keeping fit but I found it really cleared the head and all the fresh air worked wonders , unfortunately for me had a knee op bout 2 years ago and that's me done which I find frustrating at times but av learned to deal with it

The 100 days is a great achievement and to see how u av changed ur life around is amazing , u av become a true inspiration to all on here and an example to anyone who is in recovery

Was joking with Lucy bout how many posts we had and then how many words we had no our diaries , and when mentioning the words and how many u my friend sprung to mine as I said I had counted how many there were on our diaries ! My thought was god if I really had and how long it would av took then how long and how many on ur diary , I reckon put everyones diaries together and u will still be in front ! Lol

Wouldn't av u any other way the help and support u av given is a real credit to u

Take care

Castle2

Hi Flagg, I'd go crazy on Tuesday and put two quid in that Barcelona jar, cos you've earned it. Do you remember when we first gave up, the urges were terrible for you in the early stages, really hard you said. Yet you stuck it out with true determination and look where you are now. Mentally you sound relaxed and happy, apart from the man flu. I guess everyone on this journey reaches a point where their motivation for life returns. When our main focus is no longer gambling. You've easily reached this point now but of course we all must never be complacent. Thinking about running again and getting fit, great idea, maybe you and NT could have a race one day, I'd pay to watch that, not bet on it of course. Nearly went for a run myself today but opted for a brisk long walk instead, very good, loved it. Take care and an early congratulations for Tuesday in case I forget or get knocked over etc

Steve