My future without gambling

Hello Redham

Welcome to the forum.

That's a strong stall you're setting out.

Very good.

Handing over finances, blocking software, exclusions, GA, counselling - all excellent steps in the right direction.

Make sure it is all done as soon as you get back.

All I would add - which might not be relevant - is to try to keep yourself busy. Back home you might always be busy, I don't know. Mention this because I think being busy is very helpful at keeping your mind off and time away from gambling; just picking up on you gambling presumably because the constant rain stopped you from doing what you had planned.

Might be wrong, but thought it was worth mentioning.

Great to have you on here, I'm sure you have a lot to bring to the forum.

Keep up the good posting.

Mistakes happen in life, you cannot change them but can learn from them and move on.

With that in mind - enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Blessings

Glint

Hi Redham just wanted to say thank you for your post on my thread I've relapsed but back here and blocking and fighting. Your doing all the right things like Glint said 'a strong stall' me too now I can't take anymore of the hell of the addiction, I wish you all the very very best and be proud of yourself for everything your doing Lu x

I can equate with much you have said Redham: EG: On finding a bookies by chance in Tenerife this summer I quickly left my family short for the rest of the holiday.

These are great starting words, but do turn them into actions when you get home!

Its crucial to remember how it feels when we fall so low...capure that feeling and keep it as a reminder never to return.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday, with what sounds like a lovely wife, and bask in the knowledge that you are coming home a new man.

All the very best.

SkyBlueBlue

Day 3 GF

Thank you all so much for your words of support. Today as we drove around Zante my mind constantly tried to make sense of my mistakes. Amazing how even with deep & rational thought gambling still sneaks in to the back of my mind.

I feel ashamed & week for failing to stay away from gambling & kidding myself I had control. I've been gambling heavily again since winning on a few free bets & thinking I could control it this time. Utter rubbish, I will never have control I am a compulsive & distructive addict & always will be. Gambling is my drug of choice & I am done feeling like a J****E.

Yesterday morning my account was ВЈ1950 in credit & now it's £195 in debt as my loses from Saturday clear out my account. Never again. It's shameful that I've wasted so much money last weekend & so much more throughout my life. It stops now.

So the drive I mentioned took us high up in to the mountains to watch the sunset. Sadly we never watched the sun go down. Instead as we turned up a winding isolated road a puppy ran out in front of us! If that wasn't bad enough he desperately chased after our car. We could see in the mirrors he looked really scared. We drove on for a few minutes & I could see in my wife's face that she couldn't bear the thought of leaving him, so we swung the car around & after 20 minutes of gentle coaxing I got him in the car. So what a day! We tried everything to find 'Bertie', as my wife named him, a home but no joy. Boarding kennels wouldn't take him nor could we get to the vet in time. After investigations on Facebook I emailed random members of a group called 'zante strays'. In the end we have agreed to adopt Bertie but it wont be cheap! If only I hadn't wasted that money. A lesson learned & one to remember.

I am setting myself a 100 day target to keep this diary going. That will see me through Christmas which is always a hard time with xmas cash around. Then through the cold & dark nights of January & February. All being well Bertie will join us before the new year & we are going to need all the money I can muster.

Just when I had fallen out with the Greek people for the treatment of its animals. A lovely man named Silver sat us down whilst we scrambled around trying to sort out plans for Bertie's future. What followed was such warmth & hospitality my faith in the Greek people was renewed (I know/knew there's good & bad in all people). Silver gave us drinks & feed us fresh homemade food from his garden it was simply amazing & he wouldn't accept a cent. Gambling was so far from my mind. Sliver in his broken English told us to enjoy everyday & love each other. This 73 year old man couldn't have been more right when he said that smartphones, tablets etc were evil!! If only he knew.

I will take all the action I've mentioned to help me stop gambling.

Thanks again

Best wishes Redham not too good on advice yet as still very early days but you can do it. I love animals so glad you rescued Bertie :))) Lu x

Thanks Lu. Any advice support is welcome & share how you're doing. Bert ( as I will be calling him :o) had a good night & has been picked up & we've paid out for his vets bills & cost of passport a much better use of cash than gambling

Day 4 GF

Feeling ok although a little hunger over must remember to politely turn down free shots served on Redbull. .....yuck!

I have stopped gambling before sometimes many months with only my direct debit lotto happening in the background. But I can't say I've ever really tried to 'give up'. Well this time I am giving it up & putting it all behind me. I want a life where I am not sucked back in to gambling & self distruction.

I have read other diaries & some really sad stories on here. What I can see is if I am really determined to stop I must use all the tactics to stop.

Looking for milestones now. New Year GF then I can think I haven't gambled since last year. Then my birthday in the summer & I can say I gave up gambling in my 30s!

Day 5 GF

Back from holidays & keeping this up reminds me of the money I have wasted & just how bad gambling makes me feel.

Although I am shattered & dreading returning to work I am not turning back to gambling again.

Hi Redham well done on day 5 keep strong and best wishes Lu x

Day 6 GF

Need to sort out blocking myself today from skybet I still have a ВЈ5 free bet & they credited £150 but it's probably bonus cash. I am tempted but there is only one way to beat this addiction & that's to stop.

Got a message from one of my one of my closest friends last night his mum has had 2 massive heart attacks & looks like she doesn't have long left as she's on life support & her body is shutting down. Life is so short & I feel guilty wasting it on a guilty pleasure that gives me no pleasure.

Redham wrote: Day 6 GF Need to sort out blocking myself today from skybet I still have a £5 free bet & they credited £150 but it's probably bonus cash. I am tempted but there is only one way to beat this addiction & that's to stop. Got a message from one of my one of my closest friends last night his mum has had 2 massive heart attacks & looks like she doesn't have long left as she's on life support & her body is shutting down. Life is so short & I feel guilty wasting it on a guilty pleasure that gives me no pleasure.

Get these blocks on right now mate, your emotions are raw...........and with not being at work, you have time on your hands ! If you really meant it forget about the bonuses and £5 freebies....get it closed !

Skyblueblue I have an admission to make. I went to close my skybet account this morning & it had ВЈ150 credit I couldn't withdraw. It was showing in skybet rather than just casino as just bonus money. I contacted customer serice who confirmed it had x1 play thru' requirement only. I spoke to my wife & explained she agreed to play it thru' & withdraw it low odds as possible. I was thinking just low odds footy bets to play thru' the money. In all honesty I didn't want to do it. I don't want to gamble anymore. I couldn't find much value on footy as these days I don't feel lucky so placed ВЈ20 & £5 acca only. I didn't enjoy it at all it felt wrong even tho' it wasn't cash I can withdraw. I didn't want to have the remaining money to be sat there as temptation so played it thru' on hold em' & I really didn't enjoy it. It's an experience not to forget, I don't want to gamble again after today not with free credit or even a raffle, sticky 13s etc.

So I've my wife knows all of this & as soon as the money played thru' I have withdrawn ВЈ120 it doesn't feel like a win in fact the opposite. We're setting up the financial control now where she has my accounts & the £120 plus anything from the accas isn't 'winnings' or even compensation it's a tiny fraction of money I owe to our joint future. I can assert that I've never gambled with my wife's cash or our joint account but that it is nonsense as I am married & our assets are all shared. Just because it's in my account doesn't just make it my money.

Sorry I didn't just leave the bonus money & close the account. I am not going to kid myself & say it wasn't gambling as it wasn't cash I had. I don't want to gamble full stop not with our money or other people's not even practice betting.

I start again after these accas have finished.

Blocks are going on laptop & I will exclude myself from this last account.

I am CG & don't have the control to just dabble. I need to leave alone forever.

Day 1 GF

Yesterday I won ВЈ120 from the bonus money I'd been credit after a £2k loss & I hated it. I couldn't withdraw it without playing thru' x1. It really made me realise I am done with gambling. My wife & I discussed whether I should play thru' the money. The money has gone stright to her & I've excluded myself. Blocks are going on today.

I was at 7 days GF & whilst I didn't stake any real money, it's not the point I gambled so I am back to day one.

Hello Redham,

Bertie grabbed my attention. Fantastic and good on you!!

HLa wise lady, yet im sure you know the deceiving way the gambling establishments take us as fools. Yet,we are when we're spellbound by there BS, so good on you for transferring to Mrs and making things transparrent.

Its early days for you, yet im reading between the lines a stayer....

I wish you well..