My Journey

Fair play to you, reading through the diaries I see your replying to a lot of people, providing some great advice too.

Ill certianly be keeping an eye on your posts 🙂

Hope your sundays still bright.

....lavenders blue...dilly dilly....tra la laaar.....

Now thats unfair isn't it?? te hee xx

Hey Sue..hows you?..hey that rhymes...

I can see you are doing fantastic and also offering a breath of fresh air to the forum...is great to see you here and also part of the diary gang...

Your cheeky sense of humour comes through and you have so much to give of yourself despot having had a really tough time Sue...

Well done on your focus and determination...

just for today..

hugs Sue

Rach and doo xxx

Hi sue

Thank u for ur kind post it meant a lot , wow in 3 weeks u av certainly made ur mark in both ur personal journey so well done on been gamble free and the impact u av had no everyone else , ur like a breath of fresh air and that's what keeps this site goin , to see how supportive u r to others is great to see I just hope u realise how much people will appreciate this so take a moment and be proud of urself for this

Gambling takes all our confidence and self belief and would take everything from us if we let it so again well done for realising and gettin help , the great thing bout here is we all can relate to each other and all want to help

Yes it is a real rollercoaster of a ride and fighting and staying strong is a must , no matter how hard it gets gambling is never the answer , ultimately only ourselves can make that decision but with the support of others it makes it that little bit easier

So again thank u for ur kind words it's a great reminder what this site is all about as nearly forgot , and know that reading ur post made my day and that is a great feeling to know for anyone

Will def keep lookin in on u and I'm sure u will do the same for me

For now take care

Castle2

Hi sue

Thank u for ur kind post it meant a lot , wow in 3 weeks u av certainly made ur mark in both ur personal journey so well done on been gamble free and the impact u av had no everyone else , ur like a breath of fresh air and that's what keeps this site goin , to see how supportive u r to others is great to see I just hope u realise how much people will appreciate this so take a moment and be proud of urself for this

Gambling takes all our confidence and self belief and would take everything from us if we let it so again well done for realising and gettin help , the great thing bout here is we all can relate to each other and all want to help

Yes it is a real rollercoaster of a ride and fighting and staying strong is a must , no matter how hard it gets gambling is never the answer , ultimately only ourselves can make that decision but with the support of others it makes it that little bit easier

So again thank u for ur kind words it's a great reminder what this site is all about as nearly forgot , and know that reading ur post made my day and that is a great feeling to know for anyone

Will def keep lookin in on u and I'm sure u will do the same for me

For now take care

Castle2

Hi Sue,

I'm sorry to hear that you were feeling a bit down on Saturday. I hope that things picked up for you and that you had a good Sunday.I always find that a good old roast dinner helps to raise my spirits. 🙂

How is Monday going? I hope that you don't have the Monday blues but that marvellous Monday feeling instead!

Take care and keep smiling. 🙂

Dave X

Hey Sue,

Just caught up with your post from yesterday and great to see you were also catching up with post! This is a big step, opening post again almost accepting and facing up to the situation. I cannot quite remember when I managed to do it but on 'my day' I visited the boot of my car and faced up to the dozens and dozens of unopened letters which I had hidden in there.

Well done for taking that next step.

Flagg

Day 24

Firstly, Thank you so much for all the replies, means the world to me x

Real roller coster of a day!

Out of the blue had a very emotional discussion with a collegue of mine, talking about past relationships. When I disclossed my past they were absulutely horrified at the trauma that I had suffered.

After reading Castles diary I have realised that if I am going to beat this I need help and I also need to be totally honest on my diary.

One thing that I have not talked about so far is that I have another daughter. Her partner, now husband is a friend of my (*** ex) and because he is in the closset has spun a lot of lies about our relationship. Conesquence I have not spoken to my daughter for 4 years. I have not seen my grandson since then and have never seen my grand daughter, who is 4 now (they only live about 2 miles from me)

They got married last year and my ex partner was invited and me and my mum were not, my youngest was the bridesmaid.

When I saw my little one a few weeks ago she is so trying to get us back together again

I have tried so hard to make that phone call but I just can't do it

...bleeding pride!

So after a weekend of tears and wanting to gamble have decided that I am going to get some counselling, spoke to my bestie tonight and between us have decided to to go with my works counsellers as opposed to gamcare.....If that doesnt work will try the other.

I need help if I am going to beat this for good!

Sue xx

Sue,

You will prob get fed up of me a few times lol but I always look for the positives. Yesterday was the big step of opening post, today is the ultimate step of accepting this cannot be beaten alone! We want to do it alone, as gamblers we live a lonely existence and we often neglect other areas of our lives. It is these areas that usually hit us hard when we stop because we often forget we have neglected them if that makes sense!

Good news is you have realised early that pride will not get us far in recovery but help will serve us greatly. Help can come in many forms and many will prob post to you that they have tried the counselling route! All I would say is give it a try, anything which may aid your recovery is well worth a shot!

Flagg

Hey Flagg,

It took me months to start a diary!

I will beat this.....I will now get all the help I need....Sod pride!

Sue xx

Hi Sue....

Just to say that I have found counselling invaluable....sometimes it can be less of dealing with it head on due to family repercussions but more about imagining what you would say to that person/persons no holds barred ,writing it down and letting it go.

In your case it seems that an injustice has happened and peoples beliefs about you have been made on a lack of true information and muddying of the waters.

Your counsellor will be able to advise....

As Shiny has said and i too agree....this site has its limitations and sometimes specialist counselling is needed that is maybe beyond the remit of GC staff.

I think you will go from strength to strength Sue...

A very lovely friend of mine in her 50's ended her marriage many years ago as her husband was a cross dresser....due to the taboo at the time she accepted blame for the marriage dissolving as she didnt want her children hurt by cruel comments at school..

It is only now that she has gone for counselling as enough time has elapsed and her kids are grown up now... but this is still a secret in the family and people cut her off for divorcing him.

I hope you get the help and closure you need Sue .

hugs

Rachel and Dot xxxx

Rachel,

Thank you...........Your comments are so appriciate and constructive.

I have a day off on Thursday and am going to organize everything then......Also gona arrange drs as going through the dreaded CHANGE...Always said in the past that I didn't want chemicals in my body....but can't cope with theese bleeding sweats!!!

Love to you and Dott

Sue xxx

Hi sue

No comment on the change wouldn't know where to start I would say glad I'm a bloke on that front but don't want to leave myself open for a barricade of abuse lol

I love ur positivity on this site it's exactly what we need , everyones recovery is different and been in tune with that and people's feelings we can help them in many ways , u seem to fit that role very well and are proving a real asset on here

Keep been proud of urself , will keep tellin ya cos u should be its a great thing wanting to help people even with the littlest of words

Take care

Castle2

Hi Sue, thank u 4 ur support on my diary. It means alot 🙂

U r doing brilliant, ur determination and positivity shines thru 🙂

I'm glad that u resisted the urges 2 🙂

Stay strong and keep going xxxx

Hi sue, its great that you have identified that there are underlying reasons why you gamble. For me my recovery hasnt been about stopping gambling and holding on for dear life I knew straight away I had to deal with other things, the councilling will bring you so much more clarity and under standing dont get me wrong it will be painfully and hard and you will need to remain focused but I so think your ready for the next level , as always take it slow and easy and allow yourself the time to work through it. Your doing fantastic sue, be very proud of yourself . Blondie xxx

Hi Blondie,

Thank you for your wise words., I know I can stop but it is staying stopped that concerns me, so if I can understand the reasons for my un charactaristic behaviour....Maybe this will help/maybe not...but it's worth a try!

Sue xx