My journey

i just lost £700 in 20 minutes on the roulette machine!! im so angry with myself. I feel so numb that I dont even know what to write

Take a breath and re group Chris it could be the best £700 you have lost if you learn from it. Get back to the basics you know you can do it mate.

KTF

Hi Chris,

Try to use this as an opportunity to understand your gambling behaviour. What triggered you off this time? What could you have done differently? It's part of your recovery process, not the end of the world. You did amazingly well and this was a bad day. Call the Helpline or use the Netline to speak to an advisor and organise counselling. Stay focused on your recovery and don't be disheartened.

Best wishes,

Forum Admin

Hi chris so sorry to hear your news but like i said to deano its a blip and you have been honest with yourself and others to admit it and not try to hide it and spiral back into the horrible evil addiction. Dint let this one blip lead you back down the path of misery hun you have done amazing in staying gf. Tc xxx

Terrible weekend binge!! Ok so I lost £700 in the betting shop a couple of weeks back after being clean for 5 months. On Wednesday I had appointment in London. I left home abit early to go to the casino to try and win themoney back as it was right next to the place I had to be. I know I was being stupid but I couldn't stop myself. Anyway.... I lost another £500 but all of a sudden I started winning and I walked out with £1200. I had won all my moment back!! That feeling of winning was over overwhelming and I couldn't stop thinking about it from the moment I left the casino. I was watching YouTube videos of people playing roulette, I was playing free play games on line. I was so happy I won my money back that I just wanted to play again. So last night I lied to my wife I told her that I was meeting a friend for a few drinks, but I didn't, I went casino again. Long story short I spent every penny I had in my current account £1500!!!! I lost £1500 in one hour. God I hate myself. I can't sleep thinking about it. I can't get it out my head how much I lost. What a waste of money. I hated it, I was sweating, I looked desperate, I know they were looking at me thinking this guy has a problem. I was gambling so heavy trying to win my money back that I lost everything In my account. I've been so happy the last 5 months and I've ruined it. Oh well, back to sqaure one again.

Good morning Chris!

sorry to see that you had a bad day again!

You need to be strong and don't do it again... If you keep doing that you will be a person that you know you are not!

9 days gamble free today. I've been thinking about how much my life has been affected by gambling from day one. It's made me question who I actually am and I'm so angry that I have been so weak all these years. I would have had so much more or done so much more if it wasn't for these machines. I've always known Ive had a problem deep down and i tried to stop so many times but I kept on running back. My issue has always been the bookies roulette machines and even tho my diary says 9 days gamble free I haven't actually been into the betting shop for around 6 months. The relapse was because of the casino which I never really go to anyway. I'm even more determined this time! I know I have a problem and I can't control It when I start so I know the only way forward is to not play at all. I'll spend time tonight ready through my diary to recap in things so far!

11 days gamble free and going strong! Even tho I gambled 11 days ago which had ended a 155(ish) gf run and even tho it was a lot of money it was actually a good thing. Firstly my problem has always only been bookie roulette machines which I haven't touched for months when I used to play daily. Secondly the lose has put me off casino where it was a new thing for me. I've also completely stopped the online free play roulette games completely. Over the last few months I've done a lot with my wages, fixed car, fixed house, paid credit card, etc. my next focus is laying my over overdraft and the chip away at my mortgage. For me being in debt is a big stress factor so I need to clear it all asap!!

Hi, Chris,

If it's put you off, take the opportunity to self exclude.

BW

CW

Checking in on 14 days gamble free

deano: wrote: Nice one Chris Good to see you climbing the ladder again Deano

Small steps add up 🙂 well done chris

32 days gamble free!!!

Just lost £1700 in 45 Minutes

The last week has been terrible it started with a couple of scratch cards and then escalated from there. Long story short I lost £1700 in 45 on the betting shop roulette machines. What I've noticed is that the longer I don't gamble the worst I get when i relapse. This time I need to be strong and I need to keep posting on here. I feel like s**t at the moment but when I get paid at the end of the month I know the pain will go. That's when the problems start..... I'm determined this time. I need to stop!

Day 3! Today ive realised that the first attempt at stopping failed because I was still playing roulette on free play and still playing a few scratch cards here and there. My main problem is the fobt so I thought what harm can it do playing for free online and playing a few scratch cards! That's was big mistake. I've also realised what my trigger is.... My wife. We've been together for 12 years and married for 7. It's always been a bit Rocky and I wasn't sure she was the one but I married her to go with the flow. I've decided today that I need to seriously think about divorce. I have a 3 year old daughter and a little girl on the way, as soon as the baby is born in going to move on. I'll still see my kids at the weekend and it will be very difficult at the beginning but it's not fair on the children to grow up around arguing and fighting all the time. This may not be the main source of my problem but it's one area that needs to be fixed. We are both 34 and we act like we are 60. Anyway back to the gambling..... I'm determined this time to sort it out! Day 3...... Gambling is dead to me!