Just to keep the update going. I've still not gambled and found myself with so much more money as a result. Looking back I always thought I needed to win to repay my debt but in reality with discipline and self control I have been able to make overpayments to my loan. The plan is to gain a early repayment figure for my loan and pay it off with money from my next pay day. This will be a massive day for me as it will be the first time I will be debt free since I was 18. I won't lie this hasn't been an easy process and as you can see from my log I have relapsed on a few occasions. For me the biggest challenge was admitting to myself that I needed help. I haven't gone down the counsellor route but just took away the ability to gamble and used the forums to see that other normal people were struggling with the same addiction and I wasn't alone in having this gambling urges and believing my only kick in life a large bet. My new son gave me perspective 6 months ago - take responsibility for your own actions. Be honest to yourself and have clear goals in mind. If you are serious about changing it can be done.
One thing to add is that I'm certainty not being complacent. Just one bet (however small) and it can start all over again
Just to give a bit of an update. My credit cards and loans are all cleared and for the first time in my life (since 18!) I have no debt. Things are there to challenge me though as a close family member gave me their log in to place a bet for them and I gave them a small amount of money so I could have a bet....bad idea. As I got back all those feelings I had banished for 6 months. To make things worse I'm worried about my job as there is a real possibility of redundancy so I'm thinking about money again even though I am debt free. Keep strong!!
Stay strong ND1, you can do it. Don't give into temptation.
Got into a bad habit again as am giving my friend money each time I want a bet on his account and the old feelings keep coming back. Today and yesterday I had a few bets on and then kept betting and betting with "winnings" until the entire £20 was gone. The only blessing is I don't have "gambling" all over my bank statements. The money isn't an issue. I'm more upset that the old thoughts came back..."what can I next bet on...what is the next game on tv" and just ignoring things I should be doing instead of watching that next game I have gambled on. I am moody and irritable when bets are losing and here we are again!! All those thoughts I had enjoyed not thinking about.
I'll start counting again and I've asked my friend not to take money from me.
Wish me luck again
15th April 2016 - no on line betting on my friends account. Told him to not let me use it. 5 days and counting
Still going strong. Almost to a month with no on-line betting ruining my life!
Well done ND1. A month is great. Keep it up.
I am at day zero again for the third time in 5 days.
Struggling but getting inspiration from members like you. Thanks.
JJT
JJT - I've struggled numerous times through this and lapsed on a number of occasion so it is never easy. Over time I'm realising that I just don't need gambling in my life dictating my behaviours. Keep going
I'm going to keep posting even if I have nothing to report. Still no betting. Moving towards the two month mark. I'm not having the urges I used to and am finding things to fill the void whether it be running, sport or just seeing family and friends.
Let's start again - the football and rugby starting and the onset of Royal Ascot was too much. My 6 month exclusion had finished an account was re-opened £25 deposit, lost and then another £25. Now self-excluded again. Be strong
I don't need to "come clean" as my wife has full visibility on everything I do. We share one joint account so there is no deceit and I am open and honest about everything. Self exclusion completed.
I got through Ascot ok - some massive urges but managed to refain.
found some new casino's who have also started doing on line sports betting. Same old routine - bet, win, lose, chase, lose. Self excluded and started again. 1st Day 11th August 2016
Day One - 17th August 2016 - starting again
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