My New diary

Some positive news as I have self excluded for the site I have been gambling heavily on and paid off the outstanding amount on my credit card that has come from my gambling debts. Time to be positive

First Sunday since September where I haven't had £500 on an NFL game. Actually watched a film and relaxed rather than being wired and stressed about losing more money!! I didn't try and open a new account so I think progress has been made. Day 1 gamble free

3 Days gamble free. I'll keep posting as it helps me.

12 days and still doing well. Managed to refrain from any gambling and found myself prioritising what I should be in life rather than following another stupid 3 figure bet.

19 days and still going well. Replaced the gambling with more exercise and time with the family.

Still doing well. One thing I keep reminding myself is that I am the only one that can keep it up. Throughout this struggle I have come to the realisation that despite all the support structures, counselling etc the only way to fully take control is to accept the problem and take away key components of that "triangle". You as an individual must be willing to stop as otherwise you will always find ways to gamble. If anyone is still reading my diary you will see that there were periods where I was kidding myself I had stopped for good only to find ways to keep betting. Try to keep strong and fill these urges which positive events and hobbies, normality will hopefully return eventually and people who love you will recognise the real person reappearing after a long period.

Hi ND1....you are doing great...just wanted to let you know someone is reading along 🙂

1 month gone and had my cc statement through today. Actually satisfaction that the last entry on there for gambling was 14/11/2016. The amounts are scary as I've never really thought about totalling it up. Over £5,000 on the November statement alone just in betting transactions. Not all losses but still the level of gambling stakes is frightening. It would have even been more on the October statement. I'm proud that the statement is empty for December.

Still doing ok. Had urges over Christmas and tried to look at old accounts to see if I could log in and deposit. Luckily I did refrain and didn't have a bet. I am happy to say 1 and a half months without a bet and still counting,

Almost two months since my last bet. Still get urges to bet from time to time but managing to control it. Hopefully 2017 remains gamble free.

Another weekend ticked off. This was the first weekend in ages that I watched a bit of cricket and darts and didn't even consider a bet. Odd...I actually watched to enjoy the sport rather thinking what to bet on and when!!! I suppose this would be the thought process of anyone who wasn't a CG. I'm still really positive on my achievements over the last 2 months as I could have got myself into another massive hole.

Still doing well. The urges still hit me from time to time especially when I get bored or am home alone. I'm glad I have been able to refrain especially after my historical relapses in 2016 where I estimate I blew around £4K. Looking back now I wonder how I could be so irresponsible. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I've hit the four month mark which is a really good achievement. I still have urges and last weekend it was really difficult and I thought about having a bet but refrained. Cheltenham this week and I haven't been tempted. Even watched a few races and didn't even think about gambling which I was pleased about. Stay strong - 4 months and counting.

Good work. Keep going. Keep being the you that you want to be.

I've got back into it again for some reason. The last 2 weekends I have been pumping £1,000's onto sports betting. Time to start again