My New Life - 22nd Oct 2017

Day 46

I’ve had some pretty strong urges recently to bet on The Ashes.

But I’m holding firm as I approach the half century mark.

The blocks are firmly in place and I have this forum to turn to in times of trouble.

Another day gamble free as I hit the sack. Ready for tomorrow. Bring it on.

Day 47

A cold and snow covered morning to wake up to....

It really is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas 🙂

I’ve just been watching on GMB about the fact that people ‘binge eat’ during the month of December. Using the excuse that it is the festive period and we give ourselves a month of binge eating.

Whilst I don’t think I do that, I’m definitely eating a lot more these days, possibly because I’m happier (I never had much of an appetite in the midst of gambling) and also because I’m trying to replace the, often time consuming, activity of gambling.

So I’m definitely slacking in terms of watching what I am eating. I need to address this as I’ve always been quite proud of my physique.

Although I guess it’s better to be a putting a few pounds on in weight rather than a few pounds on in gambling....

Moorey

Day 48

The urges still remain, particularly on a Saturday. Went to watch my team play today and EVERYBODY, and I mean EVERYBODY around me seemed to have their phones out on betting sites, checking the scores. My mate kept checking his phone and was growing in excitement as his bet got closer to winning. In the end he was one goal short of winning £300. But the excitement he seemed to be getting from it sounded great, I must admit. I envied him.

Could I afford £5-£10 a week on gambling? Definitely. I spend more money than that on things I don't end up needing.

Would it stop at £5-£10 a week? Clearly not. As has been proven over the years. I go in with the best of intentions but somehow get drawn into chasing losses. Why that is, I'll never know.

I never used to be like that. But I am now.

That's why I CANNOT gamble.

It's been refreshing to look at my bank statements from the last couple of months and not see any crazy activity going on. That's the best feeling EVER! Yes, it's been tough. But it's also rewarding to go to bed at the end of the day and know that you've taken yourself another day further away from your last bet/spin.

Christmas is looking more positive for me this year. That's all I could have asked for myself in the short term.

Moorey

Keep at it moorey, you're doing great. Maybe take a look at Matts diary today if you're in need of a bit of inspiration.
I'm sure he won't mind me saying that he's having a great time and it's mainly thanks to him being determined to turn his life around and kick the gambling into touch. I'm confident that you too can do this. x

Day 50

A milestone that I never thought I’d make. I’ve got here, simply by working on a day by day, sometimes hour by hour basis.

It feels good to have 50 days worth of being gamble free behind me.

So long as I stick to what I’m doing, it’s going to be flippin good Christmas.

It can be done, folks!... If I can do it, then anybody can. Believe me.

I’m off work today because my workplace has shut because of the adverse weather. So I will put my day off to good use by going for a long walk in the snow. Some much needed exercise.

Moorey

Hi Moorey

Huge congratulations on 50 days GF, a great achievement.

Keep it up and keep batting those urges away, it is working well.

Muststop123

Well done on 50 days gf, great achievment, keep doing what your doing as it seems to be working well for you, urges will come and go so always be on your guard...... keep up the good work your doing great.

Thanks Chartom3, yes they do come and go, annoyingly.

Just when I think I’m getting the better of it, they pop up to test my resolve. However, I realise that they are just temporary and I immediately try and find something else to distract my mind from those urges. They mainly crop up at the weekend when there’s lots of sport and I’m surrounded by my friends.

Strangely, I have NO urges whatsoever to play slots and casino type games. I say ‘strangely’ because it’s always those that end up crippling me financially. I never placed any large sports bets. I felt as though the only way to a quick win was to reluctantly hit roulette. I felt like I had to! Bizarre, isn’t it?

Anyway, tonight I’m watching the telly with a glass of red wine.

The simple pleasures 🙂

Moorey

Glory be to Moorey finding his true self

Christmas tree n gamble free with santa and an elf

Snow covered walks with his dog - really cool

No more madness - no more the fool

Yihaaa Woohoo -- 50 days since you last gambled.

Well done Moorey. Well on your way towards a second month GF. Just keep doing what you're doing, its working.

Thanks Stephen, sjwsjw 🙂

Feels strange being over 50 days gamble free.

My previous best was 34 days. So I'm in uncharted territory. But it feels good. Slowly but surely my thoughts about gambling are decreasing. I remember not long ago, waking up in the morning and rushing straight to my phone to check the odds of sporting events. If there wasn't any football or cricket on that day, I would find something else to bet on.... a Brazilian volleyball match or a junior tennis match etc. Anything that would have me watching for the scores to see if I would win myself some money.

I'm glad I'm not there 'at the moment'. I won't say 'anymore' because that would imply that I'm cured and never going back there. I would be stupid to think that. I simply can't take anything for granted. In the grand scheme of things, 51 days is still early days.

But for now, I'm heading to bed after successfully negotiating another gamble free day. That was my only objective today in terms of my recovery and I've passed that test 🙂

Hi moorey just had a read of your diary and wanted to say congratulations on 50 days (well 52 now!!)

You sound very determined in your posts and keeping positive, what do you think has made the difference and helped you stay gf? For me it has been handing over financials and showing my partner every access to my accounts. I thought I would be fighting this all the way before I did it but in fact its been a massive relief.

Also being grateful to get to the end of each day gamble free which is a great feeling really.

Keep going Moorey let's make it a great Christmas this year without the stress of lies and worry!! Its so not worth it.

4D wrote: Hi moorey just had a read of your diary and wanted to say congratulations on 50 days (well 52 now!!) You sound very determined in your posts and keeping positive, what do you think has made the difference and helped you stay gf? For me it has been handing over financials and showing my partner every access to my accounts. I thought I would be fighting this all the way before I did it but in fact its been a massive relief. Also being grateful to get to the end of each day gamble free which is a great feeling really. Keep going Moorey let's make it a great Christmas this year without the stress of lies and worry!! Its so not worth it.

I’m not quite sure what the difference has been this time. I’m still very much in control of my own finances, which I understand is a big risk, but I think the penny is beginning to drop on what gambling really is all about. I’m educating myself more about ‘gambling’ as a subject and reading lots of material about it.

I’m also making sure I fill my days with things, even if they cost. My argument being that I’d be spending 2 or 3 times that gambling, so why not put the money to better use to make my life a happier and more fulfilling one. It’s become more and more apparant that most of my gambling was done through sheer boredom which is my fault. I’ve neglected a lot of things which has made me want to gamble in the past.

Personally, I don’t think it’s healthy to stop gambling and to try and save every penny in the process to claw things back. I’ve tried that method and it just frustrates you to the point of wanting to gamble again to add a bit of purpose and excitement to your life.

(So long as you don’t go ‘too’ overboard with the spending, of course!).

So I’d say the biggest difference I’ve made is to relax more during my recovery, and not be too hard on myself. My recovery doesn’t have to be about saving every penny. It’s about enjoying life.

Yesterday I bought a few beers and a smart shirt to go out at the weekend. I wouldn’t have done that whilst I was gambling. I’d have spent the same money (and the rest!) on gambling.

Comgratulations on your 98 days too 4D. Not long to go now until the century.

Day 53

Not much to say other than it’s been another gamble free day.

As expected, urges have been less frequent during the week. I find myself not really thinking about gambling too much. In fact the main reason I sometimes remember to come onto this site is because it’s already there as I open up ‘safari’ on my iPhone. Otherwise, I think I’d forget sometimes.

Weekends tend to be a lot tougher, but I’m totally spurred on by my goal to reach Christmas and New year gamble free.

Once I’ve hit those goals (hopefully!) I’ll need to reassess and set new targets because it would be so easy to get there and think it’s ‘mission accomplished’.

Moorey

Day 56

Another week draws to a close. Urges this weekend were minimul.

Not much else to report.

I still can’t believe I’m up to 56 days. It may not seem a lot to some people, but for me, it’s huge.

On Wednesday I get paid which will be my 3rd pay day without gambling.

Things starting to look much better than it was 56 days ago.

I’m all set for a great Christmas if I can stay gamble free until then.

Moorey