My new life

Hello again poblwc i myself have screwed up multiple times after being so confident on here. I took myaelf away feom the site thinking i didnt need it and look whats happened to me. I feel ashamed hate myself infact right now i would rather not be here, even though i still thank my blessings to be alive and well in body, my soul is damaged so much from this gambling addiction i suffer with. Where do i turn to what do i do. The answers all lie within myself i need to do more searching 🙁

Well I’m still here trying to stop gambling. I’ve told my friend who has put a passcode on my iphone and blocked safari and apps and i have installed betfilter. I have also installed Gamban for my Mac which is brilliant (much better than gamblock which had pop ups every tine). At £9.99 a year this is better than opening a savings account!! As i never was able to save

Back here again - gamble free for 20 days today the difference now is I have told my friend who has put a code on my iphone so I cannot access any apps so I cannot gamble. I have also installed Gamban on my computer and joined Gamstop . It is a struggle every night (these are the worst) this is when I want to snuggle up in bed and gamble but I can’t. I have to stop for my sake otherwise it will be the end of me

26 days today feeling really good. When I walk into work these days I feel happier. Usually after gambling the night before the next day is awful as the guilt sets in and I sit in work worrying!! I start my new job in two weeks. I have worked hard through the application process and interview to get this job so I am not going to spoil it now by gambling

I completely get what you say about going into work having not gambled recently.

It really does make a difference. Well done on 27 days, not long before one whole month.

NT

Congratulations on the 27 days and the new job dude!

It's awesome to hear you feeling more happier in your self. I remember that feeling last time I quit and it's just awesome isn't it. What reason do we have to go back when we feel like that hey? Stay 24 ahead of me buddy!

Scot

Thanks Scot it means a lot to me that someone has taken the time to write here. It is difficult every day but the blocks help otherwise I would have given in I know. I’m beginning to pay back bills now which is a good feeling. You are doing well take the weekend in small steps now Friday night Saturday morning etc by Sunday you will feel proud of yourself- I do and when I go into work the following week its a fantastic feeling that I haven’t wasted the weekend gambling!!

31 days today a whole month yipee really happy with myself its been difficult but it proves if i set my mind to it i can do it. No more giving money to these gambling companies- my money is my money from now on!!!

I’ve contacted the bank they have cancelled both bank cards. I can access money from my husbands bank card as he hardly uses it BUT i will not use it gamble as i did this once !! Never again as the bank phoned him and asked about suspicious gambling activity on his card. It had to be cancelled! NOT going through that again!!!! I am back to square 1 I’m afraid as i was able to use husbands phone but now i have no access to bank card I cannot gamble. I have no other bank cards either.

Once the FUN stops STOP!!!!!!!

Hi Poblwc, how are you feeling today? Have you started your new job yet? I read in an eralier post in your diary that you were starting a new job soon.

With regards to your addiction, it sounds like you now don't have access to your cards, which may be a good thing. It takes away some of the temptation.

Keep updating your diary. I'm looking forward to seeing how you get on.

Thanks Martin for looking at my diary. Not bad this weekend i’ve been away with friends until last night. They have no idea of my gambling. I find it hard. I’ve made so many new beginnings I’ve forgotten how many!!! Its desperate measures now. I have a joint account with my husband. He is a farmer and hardly uses his bank card so i can use his bank card to get money out so this is the way it has to be. We also have a business card . I used this once to gamble - never again as the bank phoned him to ask what the transaction was . Luckily he missed the phone call. They then automatically phone me as the partner and I confirmed it was me.they were fine with this , however, i will not put myself through that embarrassment again. I will pop in and out of my diary every now and again. I was in Liverpool shopping yesterday and i made a point of looking out for casinos on the high street and was shocked how many there were all claiming fantastic payouts! Luckily this is not a problem for me as i live in a very rural area and there are hardly any betting shops or amusements.

Well i’m back gambled again end of last month however it was on a site that should have been covered by Gamstop. I sent an email to this effect to the ‘said’ company and today they have refunded me !!! Very very lucky and this has been a wake up call. It was through Paypal as i have no bank cards . I need to be careful now . Been using my husbands phone but will block that now so will not have access to any gambling sites at all . #oneluckygirl#

Day 9 and for some reason feeling much more confident than any time before. I have really pulled out all the stops- Gamstop, restricted iphone, Gamban, cancelled bank cards and determination!! Just saying i was going to stop wasn’t going to work for me - blocks had to be put in place but not just for now but FOREVER !

Day 12 i am feeling much more positive. I have started a new job three weeks ago. People in my previous job were very negative and i think part of this was a trigger to my gambling . I would lie in bed and the gambling would take me away from that. Now its totally different my new colleagues are lovely.