My recovery diary - Last bet 18/02/2012 - Forwards and upwards

Hi Wilsy.

Sorry to hear you are back to day one again but hopefully the realisation of hitting rock bottom, will spur you on to get back on track again.

Glad to hear you have installed K9. Have you had someone else put in the password for you? I did - on both my laptop and my mobile and it has been the best deterrant to stop me in my tracks of any gambling thoughts. Hope this serves you well also.

Take care and remain optimistic.

Feb.

Andy

Again well done for posting it really does take great strength and courage I know first hand when gambling hits us hard it's sometimes easie to just carry on than not face our fears , you chose to face them proud of you for that , the blocks Will also really help whilst you get some gamble free days behind you

We always have to keep trying and you are , right behind you as always

Castle2

Day 2

I've decided to come back and face my demons again. This takes great strength because I feel at the moment I could just carry on gambling.

I am broke which is always a good time to get back on track. Since my Break up I have racked up around 6k worth of debt and now I am adamant that I want to clear it off.

I am also optimistic again about my future as quite recently I have enjoyed the company of another lady and her child and feel that I need to address my problems to allow us to make a go of it, otherwise I am no good to her and it will be no good to me if I'm losing money hand over fist.

Going to get the blocks in place and try my hardest to forget what's happened and just accept my losses. All debit will be cleared if I can get my head down now.

Hi Wilsy and well done for finding the courage to come back and start over.

Like you say, get your head down, earn money through work and be a good guy to your new lady friend.

Take care... S.A

Andy

fella I hope the doors have revolved for the last time, welcome back.

I hope you find happiness again

without doubt without further gambling to add to the debt will offer the opportunity.

Recovery is there on offer my friend

My advice embrace it for all it gifts

Duncs stepping forward never back

Day 1 starts again today.

Not sure what will work for me to be honest as my trail of destruction has continued. I haven't been giving it my all and seem to simply want to lose all my money and run up mountains of debt.

Really struggling but I need to start again sometime, now seems the best time.

Going to use this site again to simply begin counting the days but apart from that I'll be taking myself to the doctors again to ask for help.

On this journey on my own as can't tell anyone. The debt is mine to pay and my aim is to pay it off by December/January.

DAY 2

Feel rubbish today, not very good at all and not overly confident about anything any more. Need to stand firm and be tough and ride this hard period as I have been here before and with hard work it will get easier.

Just feel massively on a mission to make things worse but deep down know that's not going to help.

Andy

fella the hangover that our destructive actions gift will I know have addiction whispering in your ear

'what's the point?? nothing will change,carry on,gambling will make you a winner'

Fella I know you know the answer

You have to want it.

I have shared this journey with you since day one

I stand by your side,I would take the pain if I could,but the truth is my friend the only person who can do that is yours truly

You know the drill

Enough said

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Duncan,

I know mate I know finding it difficult but will search for the answer. Back on Day 1 today, really got to want to give up, I do and the voice in my head tells me I don't. I just don't feel committed but must find the strength from somewhere.

Thanks Pal, you have always stood by my side through good and bad times and I really appreciate it. I hope all is very well with you I am sure you are still doing ever so well with not gambling.

Speak soon.

Wilsy,

I read your recent posts earlier today and I feel for you buddy. This is a difficult addiction and keeps coming back for us. I hope you find a way to get back on the recovery path quickly and for good.

Chin up.

Tomso.

Hi everyone, just popping on briefly as I have come to the conclusion now that I will come on here sparingly to read and to let everyone know I am okay.

I am on DAY 20 now without a bet. Am an emotional mess due to personal problems and am hanging tough but it isn't easy.

Had to take out a loan of 7,100 to pay off cards and all debts which I have done. I was lucky and got a 7.4 % APR loan with Nationwide for 30 months at 241 a month, so they'll only make around 700 off me over 2 and a half years, that is if I don't pay any extra as I go along.

I feel happier because all the debt now is in one place and manageable payments of 241 I can manage. Now just got to try and stay positive for the future, which is easier sad than done

Thank you to the usual suspects who look out for me and comment on my diary. I am just trying to do things my way.

Well done Wilsy.

Take care and stay strong.

Feb.

well done wilsy

Andy

Fella always good to hear from you my dear friend,well done for putting your life into a planned order.

As for your own way of doing things,we both know there is no write or wrong way,no book for us to follow.

It is surely the end result that is most important,to gift ourselves

LIFE

You keep doing what works for you.

I salute your efforts,i equally hope your personal situation improves with your continued abstinence.

Warmest wishes

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks Duncan,

Had been doing okay but it has all gone pair shaped again over the last 24 hours, I really have lost control this time.

Day 1 starts again today. I worked out I have 10k's worth of debt this was the damage caused between the split with my ex in February and now.

I've found a GA meeting in Eastbourne near me which is every Thursday, I'm going to go there tomorrow. Might go back to the Doctors to ask if need to go back on anti-depressants which I took myself off a few months ago.

Feel very flat today and will have to drip pay a few cards for a while but I'm sure if I can just hang in there, I'll be feeling much better in a few weeks.

Big burning question, do I still the folks when they get back from France in October or do I deal with this myself. I am too ashamed to tell them I took out a loan and several cards to the tune of 10k!

What to do...