Thank you Holy. I agree here I have to say. I used to love a scratch card l, and sometimes bought a lottery ticket but I’m going to stop all forms of any kind. I think I just need to do it at this point. I would also view buying any of these as going back to day 1, and I refuse to do that again 🙂
But I know this is divided an respect anyone’s decisions
Hi both 🙂 .
There's been many a good debate ( argument ) on here as to the right's and wrong's of such action and although I've not gambled on anything since I stopped I feel it is down to the individual and on what effect's you .
For me personally I'm pretty sure it would be a huge slippery slope and that I'd end up exactly where I left off , a bit like telling an alcoholic that It's ok to have a beer but stay off the shot's :((
Day 20 and my depression has reached all new lows. I haven’t had a depressive relapse like this in years! I am wondering whether it’s because my brain isn’t getting that constant hit of serotonin and high from gambling.
I feel like my antidepressants have stopped working. Work has been stressful this week, and I’m not exactly overjoyed with my home life.
I also wonder if now I haven’t gambled in 3 weeks I’m having to face reality. This is maybe what I’ve been hiding from for 5 years.
I’ve stopped for 3 weeks many times before but I have to admit I haven’t even had one gambling urge the last week or so. I have literally no interest in anything at all.
I really hope this passes as I feel like I’m wading through treacle right now!
Hi liveinhope
i am so sorry for your headspace right now. I have a friend who has severe depression and she has tried to cut back meds many times but she needs her right levels, so while she hates it, she has to stay at the level she is on to function.
i feel low atm but because of my dad being ill and having to care for him. Seems unfair but I have never had depression that I know of. Gambling for me was an escape but the problem is when you finally get back home the financial cost can be huge, which ultimately is an emotional one then as you try to juggle the money again. Try to explain to friends that you will get kitchen done one day and the car will do Another year. The effort to lie, think on your feet and keep a secret is so draining.
i hope you can start to feel the fog clear and so happy no urges for you.
Take care
sarah x
There's no doubt that your brain needs time to adjust to not getting it's instant hit , after all it's withdraw'l that the body's experiencing as it would from many thing's that we give up .
There's other drug's you can take to help ease the withdraw'l symptom's of nicotine , Heroine and such but unfortunately that doesn't really apply in our case unless you can find something to replace that same buzz by doing something that gives you that same feeling in life itself ? .
I never found anything that would give me the same instant hit but my mind and body over time have adjusted to not needing a constant stream of self medication that gambling once gave and for me that was much the same as giving up smoking over 25 years ago .
I think the more time gamble free we have the less the need for those dopamine hit's become , simply because normality return's and we appreciate the simple happy moment's that life gift's us instead of the mechanical ones we've been used to for so long .
Maybe if this is becoming a real issue for you that a visit to your health professional may be in order , if for nothing else just to put your mind at ease or look into alternative medication ? .
Learning to deal with stuff we've buried deep for so many years is so difficult and can be made far worse when we give up our daily support that we took from gambling .
I hope these feeling's ease for you soon but congratulations for the 20 day's so far 🙂
Day 20 and my depression has reached all new lows. I haven’t had a depressive relapse like this in years! I am wondering whether it’s because my brain isn’t getting that constant hit of serotonin and high from gambling.
I feel like my antidepressants have stopped working. Work has been stressful this week, and I’m not exactly overjoyed with my home life.
I also wonder if now I haven’t gambled in 3 weeks I’m having to face reality. This is maybe what I’ve been hiding from for 5 years.
I’ve stopped for 3 weeks many times before but I have to admit I haven’t even had one gambling urge the last week or so. I have literally no interest in anything at all.
I really hope this passes as I feel like I’m wading through treacle right now!
Hello
Good news... It will pass.
Bad news... It will probably return at some point later on...
Worse news - it will probably be come and go like this for a considerable amount of time - welcome to reality my friend ?
Life twists and turns - when it twists we had this thing called gambling which we could activate to escape the associated uneasiness and unsettling feeling - without it we just have to ride it out - annoying but you will learn how to do this over time and become more proficient at dealing with it as time progresses - as Alan said to me, it's like learning a new language - as you become more proficient with it the whole process becomes easier to manage (or words to that effect)
That malaise you speak of - I wonder if it has something to do with your mind finally drawing a line under the money lost and accepting that it's gone - by not gambling for 3 weeks you've sent a signal to your brain that it has to accept that gambling is over and you are not going to be lured in anymore by the possibility of a big win that will put you on cloud 9 and solve all your financial woes... The brain doesn't like what it's hearing... This means that the financial problems remain and aren't going away any time soon... Brain not happy... ?
However take it from me that this is all part of the process and actually a positive sign of a good recovery. I came on here all guns blazing saying i hit rock bottom and was done with gambling - really I was just bottomed out financially and had huge debts... The real rock bottom came about 3 weeks later (funny that) when I actually came to terms with the fallout associated with my actions and the mountain I now had to now climb to just get back on an even footing...
I wasn't accustomed to climbing... burying my head in the sand was my speciality... It was all new and alien to me.
What else can you do but get climbing.
Guess what - you don't know what is waiting for you at the top - at that summit - because it's something you've never experienced before - they say it could be something like peace, serenity and tranquility... Well let me know what it is when you get there.
All you have to do is keep climbing. There will be times when money is tight, an unexpected bills comes in, unforeseen expenditures, having to forgo a purchase that you would have liked to make... All these occurrances will be reminders of the acceptance that gambling has stopped being fun as is now causing you heartache... Don't let these frail efforts from your brain knock you off your mountain... This is a new reality you are creating for yourself and all you have to do is keep climbing.
It is overwhelming to consider your whole future journey in one go - so break it down into stages, week at a time - day at a time - even an hour at a time (I had to do this until at least day 60) - whatever it takes to get through the early stages... I promise you it will get easier if you keep climbing. You will discover many new and exciting things in your life that have nothing to do with money or artificial highs if you just stay on this path and embrace this new reality you're creating for yourself - try not to see it as a chain around your neck - youre liberating yourself from the clutches of being governed by gambling addiction... That malaise your feeling is your body and mind feeling completely at sea as a result but you just set your course and keep going... They will just have to get used to it ?
I believe in you. You can do this. You can create a better life for yourself. I have subscribed to your diary. Keep in touch ✊
Morning liveinhope
just reading your thread back I called you the wrong name in one reply. Sorry lovely. It just goes to show I am on here a lot. Reading and replying where I can.
I wanted to to check in with you. While you are keeping this a secret. Your choice and I respect and understand why you would want to. Do your family ask why you need help financially? I ask because I am currently financing A lot of debt. My mum will occasionally say. When you getting a new kitchen? I keep making excuses of course but the truth is it’s just not there. Me and my partner work full time and if we weren’t paying loads off of finance we would have money to update the house or cars or our holidays would be abroad and not self catering in Devon. Don’t get me wrong I love my hols. But I do get quizzed. Mum and dad knew I gambled years ago but when I confessed. No choice no credit and defaulting on things. Mum had my money and I got clear. Paid off all debt so they think now I am cured. Can’t bring myself to say again I am in a mess. My partner knows and he has been so lovely. Almost too nice but I gave him access to all debt. He can log in to all my accounts at any time. Did not stop my relapse a week ago and I deliberately picked a card he rarely checks but still he could find out and I would have to confess and feel terrible guilt for the stress he suffers.
the roller coaster is crazy and I want to get to a point where I can spend some money and see the actual benefits financially. However what I have to accept by taking control and making a concerted effort and talking on here and reading and writing my mental health has to be the first thing to get well. The financial will come later with my credit score going up and money for real things nd not virtual reality which is gambling.
no poor casino owners. Bookies keep going while the high street dies, gambling sites by the thousands. They all make money because they always win.
i am being paid on Monday. I want to pay as much off debt as I can cope with and leave myself a pittance. I can live on a pittance. It’s no fun but the damage is not increasing. I also thought last night I am going to start reducing my credit limit on credit cards as soon as I can. While it won’t help my credit score in short term in long term it will reduce my access and if I can get a card clear I want to cancel it.
reducing my access will allow me some control on this crazy fairground ride.
I hope you stay well.
take care xx
Day 20 and my depression has reached all new lows. I haven’t had a depressive relapse like this in years! I am wondering whether it’s because my brain isn’t getting that constant hit of serotonin and high from gambling.
I feel like my antidepressants have stopped working. Work has been stressful this week, and I’m not exactly overjoyed with my home life.
I also wonder if now I haven’t gambled in 3 weeks I’m having to face reality. This is maybe what I’ve been hiding from for 5 years.
I’ve stopped for 3 weeks many times before but I have to admit I haven’t even had one gambling urge the last week or so. I have literally no interest in anything at all.
I really hope this passes as I feel like I’m wading through treacle right now!
Hello
Good news... It will pass.
Bad news... It will probably return at some point later on...
Worse news - it will probably be come and go like this for a considerable amount of time - welcome to reality my friend ?
Life twists and turns - when it twists we had this thing called gambling which we could activate to escape the associated uneasiness and unsettling feeling - without it we just have to ride it out - annoying but you will learn how to do this over time and become more proficient at dealing with it as time progresses - as Alan said to me, it's like learning a new language - as you become more proficient with it the whole process becomes easier to manage (or words to that effect)
That malaise you speak of - I wonder if it has something to do with your mind finally drawing a line under the money lost and accepting that it's gone - by not gambling for 3 weeks you've sent a signal to your brain that it has to accept that gambling is over and you are not going to be lured in anymore by the possibility of a big win that will put you on cloud 9 and solve all your financial woes... The brain doesn't like what it's hearing... This means that the financial problems remain and aren't going away any time soon... Brain not happy... ?
However take it from me that this is all part of the process and actually a positive sign of a good recovery. I came on here all guns blazing saying i hit rock bottom and was done with gambling - really I was just bottomed out financially and had huge debts... The real rock bottom came about 3 weeks later (funny that) when I actually came to terms with the fallout associated with my actions and the mountain I now had to now climb to just get back on an even footing...
I wasn't accustomed to climbing... burying my head in the sand was my speciality... It was all new and alien to me.
What else can you do but get climbing.
Guess what - you don't know what is waiting for you at the top - at that summit - because it's something you've never experienced before - they say it could be something like peace, serenity and tranquility... Well let me know what it is when you get there.
All you have to do is keep climbing. There will be times when money is tight, an unexpected bills comes in, unforeseen expenditures, having to forgo a purchase that you would have liked to make... All these occurrances will be reminders of the acceptance that gambling has stopped being fun as is now causing you heartache... Don't let these frail efforts from your brain knock you off your mountain... This is a new reality you are creating for yourself and all you have to do is keep climbing.
It is overwhelming to consider your whole future journey in one go - so break it down into stages, week at a time - day at a time - even an hour at a time (I had to do this until at least day 60) - whatever it takes to get through the early stages... I promise you it will get easier if you keep climbing. You will discover many new and exciting things in your life that have nothing to do with money or artificial highs if you just stay on this path and embrace this new reality you're creating for yourself - try not to see it as a chain around your neck - youre liberating yourself from the clutches of being governed by gambling addiction... That malaise your feeling is your body and mind feeling completely at sea as a result but you just set your course and keep going... They will just have to get used to it ?
Thank you so much Signalman
your advice is spot on. I think it’s just because I used it as such an escape now i don’t have that escape I’m dealing with all the underlying issues with no buffer. I think this is where my counselling will help, I’m still waiting for it to be set up. Work has been super stressful too so I think that’s been making me feel worse. I appreciate your kind words and I am also always here to help anyone I can and talk when needed, so just say the word if you ever need some support. I’m much better at giving advice than taking my own advice ? ?
Morning liveinhope
just reading your thread back I called you the wrong name in one reply. Sorry lovely. It just goes to show I am on here a lot. Reading and replying where I can.
I wanted to to check in with you. While you are keeping this a secret. Your choice and I respect and understand why you would want to. Do your family ask why you need help financially? I ask because I am currently financing A lot of debt. My mum will occasionally say. When you getting a new kitchen? I keep making excuses of course but the truth is it’s just not there. Me and my partner work full time and if we weren’t paying loads off of finance we would have money to update the house or cars or our holidays would be abroad and not self catering in Devon. Don’t get me wrong I love my hols. But I do get quizzed. Mum and dad knew I gambled years ago but when I confessed. No choice no credit and defaulting on things. Mum had my money and I got clear. Paid off all debt so they think now I am cured. Can’t bring myself to say again I am in a mess. My partner knows and he has been so lovely. Almost too nice but I gave him access to all debt. He can log in to all my accounts at any time. Did not stop my relapse a week ago and I deliberately picked a card he rarely checks but still he could find out and I would have to confess and feel terrible guilt for the stress he suffers.
the roller coaster is crazy and I want to get to a point where I can spend some money and see the actual benefits financially. However what I have to accept by taking control and making a concerted effort and talking on here and reading and writing my mental health has to be the first thing to get well. The financial will come later with my credit score going up and money for real things nd not virtual reality which is gambling.
no poor casino owners. Bookies keep going while the high street dies, gambling sites by the thousands. They all make money because they always win.
i am being paid on Monday. I want to pay as much off debt as I can cope with and leave myself a pittance. I can live on a pittance. It’s no fun but the damage is not increasing. I also thought last night I am going to start reducing my credit limit on credit cards as soon as I can. While it won’t help my credit score in short term in long term it will reduce my access and if I can get a card clear I want to cancel it.
reducing my access will allow me some control on this crazy fairground ride.
I hope you stay well.
take care xx
Thank you so much for your message Sarah. I know you haven’t been here long but your support for others is amazing. I think along with helping yourself, you will help so many other people along your journey.
I drank rather too much last night so feel pretty worse for wear today! But no urges yet. I still feel very up and down, but I have a lot going on so I know that is a normal reaction to situations regardless, so throw gambling withdrawal into the mix and it has created this!
How are you feeling? How has the weekend treated you?
I had to pay a whacking amount out on my car yesterday! But at least now I have a good mended car instead of throwing that money to some bookies!
so many people say and it’s so true that we hate to spend money on vital things in life, but wouldn’t think twice about throwing £xxx down the drain gambling. And it is just figures on a screen, if I held the cash in my hands I would never spend it!
Im always here for a chat Sarah if you need support, or a general chit chat xx
PS in terms of not telling people it’s always the excuse of having to pay for this and that. I only really found myself in real trouble this year to the point people were noticing. I put it down to having to pay more rent as we moved to a bigger house etc etc. My parents said they were concerned but they have enough going on themselves at the moment without the worry of me. Im determined to turn myself around this time and rectify things so hopefully I won’t have to tell them
So today has been a slightly better day. I still don’t feel myself but that total feeling of despair, flatness, and anxiety is easing.
I believe other factors going on are what made me feel so bad. Also I know that if I usually had a bad week at work I would gamble to take my mind off of the stresses. It’s all about replacing gambling with other activities.
This weekend I took my kids to a party and I took a walk outside in the beautiful fields near my house. I always feel strongly at one and calm outdoors around nature with the sun shining.
I am still penniless from my last relapse nearly a month ago, but a week tomorrow is payday. Something feels different. I almost want to hold onto every penny as tight as I can and start budgeting like a mad woman!
I have decided and come to the realistic realisation that my debts are going to take me years upon years to clear. There will be no quick fix, but if I can just see my credit rating improve slowly I will be happy. I am also going to buy myself a little treat each month whilst I’m not gambling to reward myself, and then a treat for the kiddies too as they always deserve it.
Before I wanted everything now. A mortgage, a nice car, expensive things for the kids. I thought gambling would get it all quickly. Now I know it’s set me back years but guess what my kids are healthy and happy and want for nothing anyway. I don’t need a flashy car and in the future I know I will have the opportunity to upgrade . I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and love surrounding me. I am already the richest person I could be.
It wasn’t that I was a materialistic person that much before , I think it was all unrealistic aims that I thought would make me happier.
Perhaps it was fate for me to get this addiction just to teach me the true meaning of life and what it is to be really an truly happy. I am trying to look at it like that. A very hard and poignant lesson in life, but one that will shape me forever and make me a better person.
So today has been a slightly better day. I still don’t feel myself but that total feeling of despair, flatness, and anxiety is easing.
I believe other factors going on are what made me feel so bad. Also I know that if I usually had a bad week at work I would gamble to take my mind off of the stresses. It’s all about replacing gambling with other activities.
This weekend I took my kids to a party and I took a walk outside in the beautiful fields near my house. I always feel strongly at one and calm outdoors around nature with the sun shining.
I am still penniless from my last relapse nearly a month ago, but a week tomorrow is payday. Something feels different. I almost want to hold onto every penny as tight as I can and start budgeting like a mad woman!
I have decided and come to the realistic realisation that my debts are going to take me years upon years to clear. There will be no quick fix, but if I can just see my credit rating improve slowly I will be happy. I am also going to buy myself a little treat each month whilst I’m not gambling to reward myself, and then a treat for the kiddies too as they always deserve it.
Before I wanted everything now. A mortgage, a nice car, expensive things for the kids. I thought gambling would get it all quickly. Now I know it’s set me back years but guess what my kids are healthy and happy and want for nothing anyway. I don’t need a flashy car and in the future I know I will have the opportunity to upgrade . I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and love surrounding me. I am already the richest person I could be.
It wasn’t that I was a materialistic person that much before , I think it was all unrealistic aims that I thought would make me happier.
Perhaps it was fate for me to get this addiction just to teach me the true meaning of life and what it is to be really an truly happy. I am trying to look at it like that. A very hard and poignant lesson in life, but one that will shape me forever and make me a better person.
Mate I get all of this.i go for that walk in the fields too.ive also got a few years to clear debt and realise it will never get better if I ever gamble.So me too decided to stop , I value what little money I have knowing one day it will get better.
Gamble and that day will never come.Good post
Perhaps it was fate for me to get this addiction just to teach me the true meaning of life and what it is to be really an truly happy. I am trying to look at it like that. A very hard and poignant lesson in life, but one that will shape me forever and make me a better person.
If you're thinking like this and not thinking about that next bet then you could indeed be on to a winner here (apols - terrible pun, but you get the sentiment!)
Keep up the good work and keep on this path! ??
So today has been a slightly better day. I still don’t feel myself but that total feeling of despair, flatness, and anxiety is easing.
I believe other factors going on are what made me feel so bad. Also I know that if I usually had a bad week at work I would gamble to take my mind off of the stresses. It’s all about replacing gambling with other activities.
This weekend I took my kids to a party and I took a walk outside in the beautiful fields near my house. I always feel strongly at one and calm outdoors around nature with the sun shining.
I am still penniless from my last relapse nearly a month ago, but a week tomorrow is payday. Something feels different. I almost want to hold onto every penny as tight as I can and start budgeting like a mad woman!
I have decided and come to the realistic realisation that my debts are going to take me years upon years to clear. There will be no quick fix, but if I can just see my credit rating improve slowly I will be happy. I am also going to buy myself a little treat each month whilst I’m not gambling to reward myself, and then a treat for the kiddies too as they always deserve it.
Before I wanted everything now. A mortgage, a nice car, expensive things for the kids. I thought gambling would get it all quickly. Now I know it’s set me back years but guess what my kids are healthy and happy and want for nothing anyway. I don’t need a flashy car and in the future I know I will have the opportunity to upgrade . I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and love surrounding me. I am already the richest person I could be.
It wasn’t that I was a materialistic person that much before , I think it was all unrealistic aims that I thought would make me happier.
Perhaps it was fate for me to get this addiction just to teach me the true meaning of life and what it is to be really an truly happy. I am trying to look at it like that. A very hard and poignant lesson in life, but one that will shape me forever and make me a better person.
Mate I get all of this.i go for that walk in the fields too.ive also got a few years to clear debt and realise it will never get better if I ever gamble.So me too decided to stop , I value what little money I have knowing one day it will get better.
Gamble and that day will never come.Good post
Thanks Holy
I am so wary and still scared of myself if I’m honest, and if my mind will switch when I get payed. But I’m hoping that it won’t, and I have all the blocks in place I couldn’t even if I wanted to! Since I’ve stopped gambling my car has gone wrong in every which way possible! I think it’s a test to see if I wanna cave in an gamble to get the money back. Well I’m not! I’m gonna suck it up pay out and move on!
well done to you for how far you’ve come, keep going and stay strong ?
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