My story and journey forward 190416

Thanks Alan, spot on as usual 😉

Feeling alot better now. My wife and I go to a SANDS support group each month which was on wednesday evening - think that helped too!

Also heading to Yorkshire this weekend for an anniversary getaway so looking forward to that. Expecially since I set aside some money to treat us - and won't be grudging spending it like I would have in gambling days!!

180 days gamble free tomorrow, roughly 1/2 a year. I never would have thought I could do it as longest period wasn't even a month for the past 13 years. Each day I become more convinced I will never gamble again - life is so much more simple without it.

Onwards and upwards. Have a great weekend folks...

Day 188. Creeping closer to 200 mark, although I do focus less and less on the number of days as time goes on.

Had a busy few days, out with different groups of friends enjoying life again without grudging money spent on social things.

Yeserday and today got a stinking dose of man flu - so feeling a bit sorry for myself (typical man ha ha). Had so much on the last couple of weeks looking forward to a lazy day trying to get better before another busy week at work.

Been spending a bit more money recently on social life (paying for meals/trips etc for mrs and I) - but still making committed payments to debt - just means not saving as much as I did in first few months but will have a quiet November getting ready for the festive season and starting to budget for that. Something I wouldn't have done in the past - or I might have but it would have all went out the window with an early December gambling spree that would see the credit card inevitably getting battered that would eat into start of next year paying back quite a bit.

Big football day today, just gonna enjoy watching games for what they are - no stressing about first goalscorer/correct score bets etc!

Onwards and upwards.

Still feeling s**t today with man flu - but hey ho that's life!

Spent quite a bit of time this morning reading back through my diary in the early days of recover ie.first 50. That's what great about this forum - you can go back in time now and again to appreciate how far you've come and also to remind yourself of what you don't want to go back to!!

Hi Tommy, another one here who has been neglecting the forum so firstly a massive well done on the 10k & WOW to how much money raised 🙂

Boo to down days, the bad foot & the man flu 🙁 Thank goodness there's no gambling headache on top of all that!

I would say, don't stress the savings. Maybe ask your wife what she would prefer...The man she has now or a fatter bank balance? As CG's we tend to get very wrapped up in money matters (I too did the finances that changed as many times a month as I could gamble & never for the better) that people without our mindset can't make sense of. Maybe worth letting the missus get involved in the festivity budgeting...You may find she has different priorities.

Glad to hear the counselling is working out for you & well done for smashing through your 1st six months!

Hope you get well soon - Kelly

Thanks Kelly

Your post has Iifted my spirits after a difficult day. I really struggled with thoughts of online gambling today....

My mind went to places it hasn't in a long time. But glad to say I didn't gamble. But I did think about it.

Instead I used Netline Chat and decided to reinstall K9 Software on this new computer so I cannot even browse certain websites.

Not sure why I felt like that this morning - maybe the Flu and being stuck at home for 4 days solid.

Anyway I didn't give into demons so I have to take positives from that and learn something. I turned it around.

Thanks for the budget advice- much appreciated!

Feeling better now physically and mentalIy.

Happy Belated Birthday Birthday Buddy 🙂

Well done for pushing through the dark thoughts today, you are absolutely right to take the positives from it...The thoughts can't hurt us, so just use them to remember how far you've come & ensure that you don't let them talk you into that 1st bet, it's the only one you have to avoid! Losing access to a few sites is a small price to pay for your sanity!

Good to hear you are feeling better on both fronts 🙂

Thanks again Kelly!

Yes, installing the K9 software again was a wise move. Showed me that I need to have the guards up always! Since my negative episode on Wednesday morning I've got my positive midset back and I'm focussing on other things again - productive thoughts.

Looking forward to a chilled weekend - meeting my 2 best friends tomorrow who I haven't seen in a while so looking forward to catch up and a few beers watching football!

193 days gamble free today, next Friday will be 200. I'm actually living again. When I was gambling my mind was a blur, time went so slow and I didn't really enjoy much in life. That has changed.

Onwards and upwards.

Hi Tommy and thanks for the post , yeah it does get a bit deep and questioning at times when we start delving , I deffo think there's something to it otherwise why are we so different from those that don't have that addictive personality ? .

Think I best leave it to the boffins to work out TBH , I don't do a lot of delving but it just came to mind the other night must have been locked away deep somewhere dark :)).

Take care Tommy and thanks again , AL

200th consecutive day gamble free today. Wow feels good to say that!

For the past 13 years or so gambling has been a constant in my life, whether it be a couple of quid accumulator on football or wagering huge amounts of money on online slots etc. Just over 6 months ago gambling had it's teeth well and truly sunk into me - I found it hard to take any pleasure in anything, my motivation was low, and I wasn't sleeping well at all. I was plastering on a smile and keeping the wheels turning but inside all I could think about was online slots - I was a mess and my mind was frazzled.

I was ready to stop, and although I still have some urges I regularly say to myself even if I wanted to 'I cannot gamble and I don't want to gamble'. Life can be cruel, it's s**t at times but gambling doesn't make that stuff go away, it only makes it harder to deal with.

I'm starting to learn to live my life without it and it's alot better than what I left behind.

Good luck to all those at the start of this month who have decided to give the gamble free life a go - it's not easy, you have to work at it but do whatever it takes - GA, counselling, chatroom, forum etc - in time you will see the benefit!

Onwards and upwards...

Congratulations on the double century keep it up and things will continue to improve like they are doing ATM.

KTF

Well done. Keep up the good work!!!

Thanks Oldham & Bal, same to you guys!

Bit late to the party Tommy Sorry , but huge congratulations on the double century mate , it takes some guts and determination to get there but so worth it :)).

All the best buddy and enjoy your day :))

Respect

Alan

Thanks Alan, much appreciated.

Just spent an hour watching this documentary by Alexis Conran (Real Hustle, Masterchef) where he explores gambling addiction, an affliction that ruined his estranged father, and seeks to understand how and why this compulsion destroys people's lives.

If you haven't seen it - worth a watch - stick with it - it's powerful stuff that includes stories from people we can all relate to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W2HqF4x8Bc

Cheers tommy ! I'll have alook after work tonight :))