Need serious help! My life is ruined

Wow im so sorry for what you are going through...but there IS hope. There really is. Your ultimate priority is your wee precious baby who is absolutely depending on you to be safe and healthy. You can make this child proud but you must read as much as possible on here...you must in time...go to GA..get counselling and dont push your family away. Your family and partner love you. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES...all of us. This can be the start of your journey away from GAMBLING HELL!!!

Again i cant imagine what your mental state is like right now...but please fight fight fight for your little one and there is light at the end of the tunnel

Hi,

Welcome to GC...firstly breathe. Nothing you can change now so it's not worth the extra anxiety for you & lil baby. You need to look after you both and that starts with you taking care of yourself.

Gambling is nasty nasty addiction. It hooks millions and you're not alone. It's really hard to read about your pain but please believe that not all is lost.
First things first. You need to put blocks in place. K9 software is for free. There are many other ways as Self Exclusions, handing over the finances or cutting your cards up.
Please contact GC because they offer great help and support. You can get free counselling sessions which many (including me) found very useful...also there are GA rooms with like minded people who can offer you great source of knowledge and support in dealing with this addiction.
Be honest with yourself and people around you. Accept the support and help offered because no way you can do it on your own.

As i said, stay calm and breathe. Not all is lost. You're very young and can get your life back on track. For now just concentrate on you and your wellbeing.

I'm sorry I'm not good with advice but please read around, contact GC and keep posting.

You can and you will get to better place, just keep making the right choice each and every day. You can do it ☺..you're worth better and calmer life.

Look after yourself

Sandra

Hey rach. .welcome to a safe place were we all understand every feeling you are going through....like you I fell into my addiction with the same site ...the slot games had me hooked before I could see what was happening....so ...first things first...I set up parental blocks on my broadband...simple and free...ring the helpline love they will guide you through practical steps and will also offer support to your partner it's good that you have there support....take one day at a time love....be open and honest with family...it's not easy...but it can be done...try to concentrate on you and your baby...I can't comment on the issue of your court case because I don't know the details...all you can do love is take each day at a time ....take care my love...x

Hi rach87 ...how are you? Hope your hanging tough

Hi all, sorry I have not been in a good place these past two days, my head is all over the place. I am worried about my future and my baby and what mess I have caused for it. If I go to prison I will end up loosing my child and I can't deal with that 🙁 I feel as though I don't know who I am anymore. I lied to everyone I betrayed my employer who gave me everything I wanted. I worked up to a good wage and blew it! I'll never get a job in finance again which I understand but now I don't think I'll get a job anywhere with a criminal record. How can I go from being normal and happy one year to the next facing all this? I have the number to call for one to one sessions but I don't know if these will help Me? Gambling is the devil! How do we fall into the trap? I could have lived a nice life. I could have even paid what I stole back but I kept playing! I hate myself for what I have done. I can't see how I can fix any of this even with counselling 🙁

Also thank you all for being so nice. I keep telling people I don't deserve it! I have been an awful person and hurt those closest to me! Everyone has only ever tried to help me but my greed took over, I didn't even take the money so why did I do it? None of it makes sense to me? I'm so lost when this should be the happiest time of my life! I can't even go out of the house in fear I will see someone I worked with. My mum is disappointed and worried for me. I will do all I can for the baby but I want to be back to how I used to be but the guilt and worry is killing me!

Hi Rach87.

I am in trouble with the law as well becuase of my addiction.

there are some practical steps you can take to help your case.

Seek legal advice. (very important you do so quickly) fully co-operate with the police tell them about your addiction.

Seek professional help for your addiction make sure its all documented.

the judge will ask for reports on your case.if your seeking help this will help you.

Heres the big one try to pay back as much as you can as soon as you can.

if a judge sees your showing remorse it will really help your case.

if this is your first offence you stand a chance of getting probation.

But you must show good faith in his eyes that you intend to pay back the sums taken.

You can and will recover from this it will take time.

Even if they do take your child. the father or your child ot your parents siblings would be given priority for being the childs primery carer

But its always the policy to try to keep mom and baby together.

I really do wish you well I know only to well what your going through its hell but it will end.

and you have a new life to look forward to.

Rach87 councelling is not going to fix this problem but I am sure it will at least help you to deal with it. You can't do this alone... get all the support and advice you can. I am so sorry you are in this position. One step, one day, one minute at a time if you have to.

All the best

Cathyx

Thank you.

Marko, my company are supportive of me they only went to the police to be able to claim the money back via their insurance. I don't know if this will still be the case as its only been registered with the station at the moment. I have called a solicitor and he will deal with me once the police get in touch. I am very remorseful and I didn't use any of the money on a lavish lifestyle I used it to pay bills and gamble! Writing this makes me feel sick, how could I have done this? I know I can't change it but it's the biggest regret of my life! I can't Imagine what the judge is going to say, they Won't take any sympathy with me with child or not. I can't go to prison over this! I would lose it. How long does all this go on for? I thought I would have heard something straight away but it's been weeks and nothing yet? Hope everything works out OK as it can for you. What have we done 🙁

Hi Rach87... I've just joined this website / Forum last night but already it's having a positive effect on me, use it to help you too. TRUST ME when I say, we ALL make mistakes in life. The reason you're so confused with why you did this is simple.. You have a problem, an addiction. Just the way I do too. I'm also lost but this morning I woke up & though "Right, NO MORE" .. I'm taking the necessary actions to fight this. Remember one thing, life is to be enjoyed & cherished. You have a little one on the way & your family by your side. FIGHT THIS! Good luck with everything.

Jason

Thank you Jason! I am happy to hear you are going to fight this too!

I know a lot of people make mistakes but I have made a huge one which I can't take back. Nothing I can do will get my good job back or stop this guilt and fear. It's mad as the more upset I get and depressed the more I want to gamble. It's hard sat at home all day with nothing. I keep going over what I had and why I felt the need to gamble it's all away and there are no answers. I am so confused it's all too much. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare.

I don't know of anyone who's done a thing as bad as I have....

There's always someone in a worse position, that's for sure. As someone just said on my post, I'm young & if I stop now my life could be AMAZING! So could yours too! Imagine a life without all these stresses surrounding you.. How great would that be. Things can only get better for now, face what is to come, accept you've messed up & move on. It's the only thing you can do, otherwise what, sit around & feel sorry for yourself? Where will that get you? No where. I'm 20k + in debt, lied to family & partner... It's the addiction. You're just about to bring a little miracle into the world, use that as your strength to stop! With this experience you could use it in a positive way & become the best mum in the world! We all have a choice in our OWN life's, we've just let something dark consume our life at the minute. Let's be happy & make others happy. What's the saying, "what doesn't break you in life will only make you stronger" .. In our case, this saying is VERY TRUE! One day at a time, make the right actions & remember, smile no matter how bad things seem.

Aww thank you Jay, I really want to be happy and be the best mum I can be but at the moment im no good to anyone! I feel sick daily with what has happened and I can't shake it, I try and think positive but it doesn't work. I need to know what is going to happen to me and if I will go to prison that's hanging over me now. I can't be a very nice person to have done all of this. I have Lied to so many and betrayed them. My partner will now have to find more work to keep us going in our home and I don't think he can deal with that either. I can't see any good coming out of this. I know I'm being negative but I can't think any other way at the moment 🙁

We have to take resonsibiliy for what we have done Rach.

I was once a decent hardworking honest guy.

Gambling reduced me to stealing from my own daughter in my deluded mind i was only borrowing it.

but rach you have to think of yours and the babys health now.

Try to put this blip in your life behind you or it will destroy you. as it has me.

I really hope you hear no more from the police.

God bless Rach you can and will recover from this