Need serious help! My life is ruined

They have only taken it to the police to be able to claim it back in insurance so they wouldn't be able to accept the money back from me as well. Plus I am only receiving maternity allowance for the next few months. I will struggle to get another job with a criminal record

I'm really worried now! I can't go to prison even if it's for a year, I have a little baby to look after 🙁 what the hell have I done! I really need all of this sorted so I know where I am and can rebuild my life! I have ruined it all

Rach go to see your GP.

You need help, the anxiety your suffering is not good for you and the baby.

It will help to talk.

Good bless Rach please keep us informed. i am worried for you.

You made a mistake Rach. as they say let him with out sin cast the first stone

You did the right thing and admitted your quilt this will go a long way in helping your case.

You mite just get a police caution because its your first offence

I feel so lost! I have a telephone appointment with the mental health team on the 9th of August to be assessed, I asked for sooner but they are busy. I am also due to arrange one to one sessions through here. I can't go on everyday not knowing what punishment I will face, I know I deserve it but it's painful to think I will have to worry all through the birth of my child and when it's here. I can't shake this guilt! I want to run away and not have to face this!

If you stay in recovery ...things WILL get easier...unfortunately that requires alot rubbish to swim through first but in time you will look back on this as the dark days.

Keep on keeping on

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I really need help to fight this! I feel a bit better without gambling for the past week. Just wish I could get the charges and court case over so I can move on and really put it behind me. This baby doesn't deserve to be brought into all this and it needs me to be stable and happy. I can't believe I have got myself into this. People lose so much from the addiction but I haven't heard of many stealing and doing what I have done to keep going! And for nothing! 🙁

Hi all, I've had a bit of an update re my case. My employer has given their statement and the case officer has said as its my first offence and I'm seeking help i may just have a caution but it's up to the crown prosecution service now. Still no sign of the baby but because of this they are holding off contacting me. I really hope this all gets sorted soon so I can live a normal life with my baby and partner. I am also booking in for Counsilling as soon as the baba arrives. I hope you are all doing well x

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Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. I still can't believe what I allowed to happen, it's still like I'm living in a bad nightmare. I'm devastated that I have lost my job, I loved it so much and it was going to be great going back flexible hours part time on a decent wage but I need to try and get over that. I hope the cps are as understanding as my employers have been! I just can't wait for this all to be over. The baby is due a week today so He/she will take my mind of it all for a while. I still have the urge to gamble and do think what if I won big again but I stop myself and go out or tell my partner. No one really gets what it's like though, they can't see what made me do the things I've done. I hope it all works Out ok for you, you must also be going through a tough time 🙁

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Aw I do hope things get back on track for you! A few of my colleagues have been in touch to say they still think a lot of me and when I question why they all say "well you haven't killed anyone Rach" I still feel guilty and morally wrong but I guess they are right. We have done something so ridiculous and led ourselves down a bad path but at least we have realised now and won't allow it to happen again. I'm not sure of your circumstances so can't give any advice but please try and listen to your own advice. We do all make mistakes and it's only now after weeks of suffering I can finally try and see a light at the end of the tunnel. Do you have any family or friends to help you through this?

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That's exactly how I feel. I had everything, my family have always helped me out as have my grandparents, my partner loves me and I have a baby on the way yet I didn't really feel happy and always wanted more? I have always been up and down and never really knew why. I think I found an outlet in gambling and even though I thought it was for the money, to get myself in a good financial position, it couldnt have been as I never done anything with my winnings. It was horrible knowing that all my work colleagues were being told the other week, I was in such a state thinking they will hate me and feeling like I could never face the world again, but I have been told they are all worried about me and want to help. I suppose if it was the other way around I would feel the same towards them. I still can't understand what made me think it was ok to steal and don't think I ever will know what was going on in my head but I won't do it again that's for sure! Are people you've told being supportive? I bet they find it hard to understand mind. I feel ashamed when my family ask questions and I tell them things I've done and lost. Is it likely you will face a prison sentence for your theft? Mine is still possible but I'm starting to be hopeful it won't go as far as I originally thought. In a way it's a good job I'm pregnant as I would have hit the alcohol and that wouldn't have solved anything!

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Have you sought help from any counsellors? Not just for the gambling but for how you're feeling with other parts of your life? That will help your case! I am waiting for the mental health team to get in touch. I do believe gambling makes people do crazy things but I also think there are other underlying issues before hand, I'm hoping they get to the bottom of mine. Glad to hear you have the support, it's hard at first to come clean but then it's such a relief when it's out. I was just reading other forums and it made me think of all the money I had won and what I could have done with it, instead I'm struggling to pay my bills and get prepared for the baby! Such a fool. I won't ever get the thrill like I did from winning jackpots but I do hope I can appreciate things in life more one day. I have no value of money any more! I hope the courts go easy on you and things aren't as bad as you fear. I think we just need to give ourselves a break for a bit, what's done is done, we aren't terrible people we are silly and have made a lot of mistakes. This will make us better people in time.