Day 161
Thanks Mary, I also was on anti-depressants about a year ago. I couldn't really get along with them as I didn't want to paper over the cracks with regards to my addiction, I wanted to get to the bottom of it and beat it that way.
Well another Tory government for 5 years. Not sure how this will pan out for those wanting support from the NHS on gambling addiction. I hope studies and cases like we find on here are raised to the forefront and money is invested.
Doing the 10km run in Manchester tomorrow so nothing exciting planned for tonight. Bit of rest to prepare.
No real gambling thoughts or urges.
Good luck with your run Tears & a massive congratulations on 23 weeks of winning 🙂
Thank ODAAT, never knew it was 23 weeks. Only 3 to half a year...
Day 162
Off to do my run now, having black coffee and water to kick start me and a banana shortly.
No thoughts of gambling throughout yesterday and today. I have some money lying around in my bank too, usually money doesn't last 2 mins in my bank but seem to be able to make this last!
Over the next 3 months I've got concert, wedding, stag do, holiday, wedding, stag do, wedding... so need to save the pennies!
Day 163
Aching a little from yesterdays run, managed to beat my goal of 50 minutues. Found it relatively easy, might have to do a few more and get under 45!
No thoughts of gambling.
Day 164
Wowzers I'm sore! Playing 90 minutes of football after the 10k run was sheer stupidity!
On a count down to my mates stag do and wedding now, getting fit and saving up. Trying to master golf too which is a major frustration! Would like some lessons but moneys too tight to mention!
Weighed myself at the weekend and I was at an all time high! At least it gives me more to lose! Got 7 weeks before I go away. Think 1 stone is a reasonable target to hit if I clean up the diet and do regular exercise.
Today I'm resting though! Got chicken and veg for lunch but pool night tonight so usually c**P food!
Day 165
The sun is peeking out from behind the clouds in Manchester.
Not much to report. No thoughts of gambling. Since my recent confession my mum is looking for help all over the internet for me. I appreciate the effort but I think I've already done as much research as possible. My next step is the doctor to help with anxiety and sleep but I really feel so much better. Just a case of keeping my guard up.
A debt collector just called my work phone about a payday loan, they've not called me for about a year on this debt so don't know why they are calling all of a sudden. I want to avoid CCJ but at the moment my priority is paying my mum back so can't commit to any other outgoings, and they don't class personal loans the same as they class loans with financial bodies.
It's not really stressing me, but the phone calls do. They don't have my new mobile number which is a blessing. And they've not wrote to me at my home address for months. Could be the quite before the storm!
There is £3k-£4k debt with the payday loan people. Probably closer to £2k if you took off the ridiculous interest and charges. Which is a drop in the ocean in comparison but happy to leave until I'm in a better postition, hopefully they don't annoy me too much!
I often go on Consumer Action Group for advice and it really settles the nerves on these Debt Collection guys who actually have very little power to do anything.
Day 166
Off out in Manchester tonight. Got my spending money! Not thinking of gambling to try and get more and inevitably end up borrowing to get by! My nights out recently have been much more enjoyable and a hell of a lot cheaper!
Off work tomorrow and planning on slobbing most of the day, depending on the roughness I may go play a bit of golf.
Still rough from Thursday night...old age!
Absolutely no thoughts of gambling. Loads of other stuff to think about! Largely how I'm going to afford all the nights out and extra curricular stuff I've got planned! Could do with a part time job, might do some searching now!
Also need to improve my golf swing! Now that is harder than anything I have on at the moment, very frustrating!
Day 169
Quickly approaching 6 months!
Golf was a disaster today, so hard! Gonna keep going at it, hopefully afford some lessons soon.
No gambling thoughts or actions, I had a dream I was playing a slot machine and it paid out in pork pies though...
Eh, not sure what the symbolism is behind the pork pies but wanted to add comment of congratulations on how well you are doing and what you have achieved. Well done you 🙂
Do you like pork pies?
Thanks BlueBella....yeah not too sure on the pork pies as I'm not overly keen!
Day 170. 24 weeks and 2 days.
Very anxious feelings today, not ones I can pin point so hopefully they will just pass.
Thinking of selling my playstation to fund some golf lessons and a couple of new clubs. Maybe as when I'm usually selling stuff its for gambling...
Not in a gambling frame of mind which is good. Quite like having golf as a hobby, just typical I would chose the most expensive one!
Day 174
Been off the map for a few days, thankfully not gambling!
Nothing tempting me in, really enjoying the peace of mind, although still anxious at times I'm not making it any worse.
Out tonight so preparing for a 3 day hangover!
Day 176
Up and raring to go for golf.
No gambling at all or weird dreams! I'm not really analyzing it to much these days either. For the first couple of months I wanted to really understand why I had been doing such stupid things. With the help of some books and some of the things the counsellor said, I started to understand better which helped me a lot. Now it just seems normal not to gamble, or want to. I thought everyone gambled but when you open your eyes a little bit, most people hardly do.
I do get a weird pulling feeling when I walk past certain bookies, probably habit after many years of veering that way! My mind is focused enough to pull me away! Even when drunk I'm not feeling any urges, I'm more focused on talking to people and having a good time than looking at the flashing lights!
Not much planned for this BH weekend now, just a bit of golf today and might go for ONE pint with my mate (maybe two!)
Work is getting better too, I would still like a new job but not overly stressed about it. Think I've reached a salary level where the next step I really need some new experience or qualification so having a think about that.
Day 178
Off work sick today, got a cold but hoping it doesn't become a chest infection as coughing a lot now 🙁
No thoughts of gambling again.
Closing in on 6 months gamble free. All my debts are covered so really can look to the future.
I have to realise that debts are only temporary as I often feel depressed by them. But month by month my debt gets less and eventually I will hopefully totally free of debt!
Closing in on 6 months of sanity, Great going,
OAU to a lovely future, taking one day at a time of course lol.
Suzanne xxx
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