New beginnings!

Hey Lucy,

I always read your diary and I always get a pick me up from the smiling Lucy at the end! Yesterday the smile was not as wide as is often the case and yet it should prob have been wider than ever. The urges will come dusty is so right I don't think we will ever be rid of them totally! What we can hope for is increasingly longer periods without one and live day to day life without the thought of having a bet weighing us down! In 80 days I feel fortunate because I've only had a few urges but when the come, they really come! It's difficult to fight them off but you did it! For that your smile should grow wider, your belief should increase ten fold, your recovery continues to gather pace!

Smile wider Lucy you have earnt the right to!

Flagg!

Hi Lucy,

Thankyou very much for your reply on my diary a few nights ago and sorry I haven't replied until now. Well done on your current progress and I am delighted to see you remain gamble free. You have been clearly committed to your diary and your recovery.

I noticed from a previous post you mentioned that you have struggled recently to post on your diary. I am struggling with this also. I feel as if I have nothing more to say. I have also not been as active on other diaries as I used to be and don't seem as involved as I used to be. The truth is I still read diaries at least twice every day so I can't put my finger on my lack of involvment. Anyway, don't worry about this I think it is just a faze most people go through.

I take great pleasure reading a diary like yours where the user has came to the site after me and you can follow the progress right from the start.

I wish you well.

Tomso.

Morning Lucy!

Hope things still good on the Lucy front?

Thank you for the posts on mine.........Always say something worthwhile!!

Even if its a grin instead of a smile...Keep going!

Sue....day 13

xxxxx

Hi lucy just noticed you havnt posted since monday so hope alls well and you dont stay away to long mate

Good evening

Just a quick update

Smiling Lucy is getting back to her happy self

Been a rough week with anger taking its time to abate but today feeling pretty good again 🙂

Didn't like this feeling and couldn't work out what was keeping it going , didn't gamble so should have been happy , house all mine again so again should have been happy but just kept feeling this rage !

Another learning curve that I need to let things go , a friend says try not to analyse too much and I think I need to take notice and not dwell too long but just shrug the shoulders , smile , look at the many positives and there are many now I am bet free and move on to the next chapter

Today I'm back with a wide smile , looking forward to a night out tomorrow , loving being on my own , loving the support from my friends including this forum and looking forward to my 6 week break in a couple , I need it lol lol another trip up to the lakes and maybe something else if the monies ok

I will post on others tomorrow as I am about to look a bit more normal with a good haircut !

Keep strong

Smiling Lucy xxxxx

Hi Lucy,

I'm sorry 2 read u went thru an angry stage, well done 4 not gambling. U r doing brilliant. I hope u enjoy ur nite out. It's good to read u r smiling again 🙂

Keep inspiring Lucy, stay strong xxxx

Glad your back Lucy and happy again. Thought you left us all to immerse yourself in Wimbledon. Glad you never. Take care, Steve.

Hi Lucy,

Thanks for your message. I hope that you have a great day.

Take care

Dave 🙂

Good Morning World

Well , i am feeling pretty good after such a miserable week!

Lot's of positive thoughts/ feelings are back and i know i want to continue on my bet free journey as long as i can, still just take it a day at a time but now be able to look a little further ahead in planning some good stuff now i'm not gambling 😉

I realised being away from this site even though i have been reading diaries is no good for me, it just takes me longer to pick myself up when i get a down day and i now know how much it helps to put down how i feel not just for each day but also to reflect when i need too!

I'm very proud of what i am accomplishing and every day i remain bet free is another day closer to finding my happiness!

Keep Strong all and have a great bet free day /weekend

Smiling Lucy xxx

Wayyyy Hayyyyy Smileing Lucy is back, 🙂

Not that i dont like miserable lucy, its you its who you are, I think its par for the course, up days, down days, thoughtful days, at least each day for me now i can feel these days when i gambled i was numb from the waist up, I was dying inside, now i can experience all the high and low emotions that go with it and start to find some middle ground.

Have a fantastic bet free fun filled weekend.

Blondie xxx

Morning Lucy, forgive me if this post goes astray somewhat. I'm having to key as I get showered, it's not easy to do this as you can imagine with soft, soapy bubbles slowly cascading down my firm, tanned, muscular torso, to gather, invitingly, deep within my throbbing and hot (fly bite) groin.

I'll try to keep typing now, now shaven (all over) I gel my dark italion looking hair back (but where can i hang my towel? then looking down i think 'wow! That's lucky.)and apply some sensual cologne to my smooth skinned body. I'm off for a swim, so I'm fumbling forcefully in open draws searching for my trunks as my fingers work frantically to keep writing to you as I stand naked with soft carpet below my feet. I pull out my trunks and stretch their tight latex before I realise my mistake. These are the ones with the zip at the front, a gift of someone who I never got to find out her name. They were no good for swimming, the zip was useless, broken and burst in my excitement or was it hers?

I know sometimes giving up gambling and ending a dodgy relationship can be challenging and frustrating, I'll agree with you on that but I can't agree that I put too much imagery into my posts. If anything they're quite tame and unimaginative I feel. one of my problems is that I need to express myself more, I'm working on this but at times it's just so hard. Well I'd better go, sorry I didn't have the time to say much but as you know I'm rushing out. Glad you're back on top form with a smile on your face, keep control of your urges. Ciao baby, Stegliano Stallionio

o*g...Off to get cold shower after reading sterogordons (?) post!

Actually gone check his diary to see if there is anymore...lol

Anyway glad to see a smiling Lucy instead of just a grinning one!

You have been such a support to me since I joined, thankyou.

Even in my short time on here I really think it depends on your mood as to how you write on your diary and reply to others posts. Sometimes I can waffle on for ages and other times I find it hard to string 2 words together.....Obviously having good day today lol

Keep smiling Lucy!

Sue....day 14 xxxxx

Yo,

Imagine my delight to see the Lucy back to her old self.

That smile is sooooooo infectous.

Not long to go now, 6 week break you luck B*****r .

Was going to train as a teacher but not clever enough , did train though as a nursery nurse , not that you had 6 weeks hols as a live in nanny.

Anyway I digress , hope you are having a stupendous weekend, both of us counting our blessing and rightly so.

Keep smiling ,

Dusty xxxxxxxxx

Hiya Lucy,

Thankyou for your lovely reply on my diary.

I gather you are a teacher by profession. My wife is also a teacher and although the holidays are great and there is no real grounds for complaint I have to say how rubbish it is for us with regards to her maternity leave/pay. Our baby was born on the first day of the school holidays, therefore, maternity leave/pay starts from that date. Is it just me or is this harsh. Every other teacher is on holiday with full pay and my wife loses out on this. Maybe I am being greedy but I thought her maternity should begin after the holidays.

Anyway, enough about me and my early morning rants. It is great to read that you are doing well and the English school holidays must be approaching soon, which is great. I have never been to the Lake District but I imagine it is very nice and peaceful there. When the time comes I hope you enjoy a lovely time.

Tomso.

Hey Lucy,

I will come on to the important stuff in a mo lol but I got halfway through Ste's post before I realised what on earth was going on. It's funny also that I was drawn to it and couldn't stop reading, as a man I should have stopped as soon as I saw Shower lol! I would certainly say I went a shade of something prob more like pink red or green though.

Anyway, great to see Lucy returning to herself. So often recently I find people having a period of downtime and I can relate so much to it. I have mentioned it a lot lately but there is some GA literature about their being no short cuts to recovery and reading this is so helpful. It just makes you understand that it is perfectly normal to have these difficult times but providing we remain bet free ultimately our lives improve.

I would also agree about posting and returning to the diary I am not saying 100% of people in recovery but I would say a large percentage go back to gambling if they don't keep their eye in so to speak with either a meeting or their diary. The addiction is extremely powerful and it will remain ever important for us to be on guard and get support.

Like I said it's wonderful to see Smiling Lucy back but just remember next time you have a difficult few days you are already in the right place 🙂

Hope you have a great sunday!

Flagg