New beiginning

Hi Heather and welcome 🙂

What you have wrote seems very real, and it is good that you have taken steps already to prevent it from happening again. From my experience, the more you can do to but blocks in place the better off you will be, such as getting exclusions/blocking software for online betting and joining the self exclusion scheme for bookies. I would also advise giving someone else complete control over your finance (someone you trust), so you can battle your demons.

I find that posting on here helps, and provides a routine for me. I look forward too checking back in to see how you are doing.

Keep strong 🙂

x

Thank you Athena, I think I have put them all in place, the only thing left to do is put a block on my iPad I will be looking around today for a suitable one, I have never had the urge to go to bookies, but should that start I will look into that too.

Thank you for your advice I really am taking everything people say on board x

Hi Heather, good to speak to you in chat & see you found your way to the diary section 🙂

Blowing the veil of secrecy away is vital moving forwards & I know your daughter is supporting you well but it may be worth considering accepting the services of GamCare because to do it properly, she's going to need to say stuff you may not want to hear.

Also, have you had a chance to look @ the friends & family section? This may help the anger you felt @ your husband subside. As compulsive gamblers we become very adept @ blaming others for actions that we know are 'not normal': finding an excuse to gamble, being the hero when things go wrong @ home so that we can 'treat' ourselves with more madness. Your husband may or may not have deserved your harsh words for things gone by but try not to lose sight of the fact you have blown his world apart, again! It may be that as you work on understanding yourself you can better accept why he isn't standing by you @ the moment. It may go the other way & you see that the relationship needed work. Whatever happens, you can't make his mind up for him.

Time to concentrate on you - ODAAT

Thanks odatt, I realise the only person to blame for what I have done is me, I don't blame him although my words may have been different yesterday, I think the only reason I was cross yesterday was the fact that he made a comment of I have no respect for him or his family, when he and his family have been far from respectful to me over the years we have been together I won't go into detail. I agree, I think it is more the realisation now that maybe there is more to sort out in our marriage than just my gambling !

Heather

Hi welcome Heather, well done on making the first move to try and overcome this horrible addiction! I've been on here for two weeks now and like you find the site very helpful. If I didn't have the support and advice I probably would of fallen back into the gambling Cole by now to be honest. It's not easy by any means, but you're clearly wanting to battle it head on. Great your daughter knows and is supporting you. Shame your husband is still angry, but he may come round once he understands the addiction. Good for you for starting your diary, as I know it's not easy. Good luck on your journey c x

Thank you Charley, I have found as each day passes and it's another day I haven't gambled I feel stronger more able to tell people the truth, I want people to know and I want them to know from me, my husband posted a pretty nasty thing on Facebook when he found out which was pretty hurtful, people I had been there for in the past because of their mistakes were quick to slate me and put me down, but hey that is in the past, times like this you learn who you can turn to and it's not always the obvious !

So I continue, today Sunday another day of no gambling under my belt so far, I have this morning part installed blocking software although am waiting for my daughter who has the passcode to my settings so can't instal it fully just yet, there is a betting shop just around the corner which I have passed twice now, I could quite easily have gone in but I found myself looking into the shop and thinking you poor sods don't do it ! I have taken great inspiration from the people on here and am humbled that they take the time to give their advice and support.

Heather x

So sorry to hear that your husband did that. Sadly, he doesn't understand the addiction and to vent his anger that way is truly sad. But like you said You really truly find out who your close friends are, and it isn't always nice to realise that they were neve true friends. But you have who you need by your side and who won't listen to the gossip and support you. There is not one person on this planet who hasn't made a mistake, so how people can judge is beyond me, but sadly people jump in without actually knowing the facts or taking the time to find them out etc. Well you don't need negative people in your life like that, you're already on one of the hardest journeys, so forget them. We are all here to support you! You are doing amazingly, so prove them all wrong and keep at it step by step, day by day and most importantly do it for yourself. Take care C X

Welcome Heather good to have you aboard

Good morning all,

Well I can report another day went past, no gambling, I went for a wonderful evening out with my daughter and her boyfriend, first we went to the fair and won a load of Rubbish, then we went for something to eat, I had a few drinks and the end result I laughed more than I have in a long time. Maybe gambling was depressing me more than I thought. I have been working on a project the last day or two but will update you all one that one when I am further with it, but I will need every single one of you to help on that one, intriguing hey lol

Still not heard from hubby, but then again it has been the weekend and no doubt he has been out drowning his sorrows, I am sure there were plenty of volunteers for that job.

Anyway I will end it there not much else to say, except everyday I have been overwhelmed by the kind supportive people I have met and for that I will eternally grateful

Take care people, stay strong, stay focused at look at tomorrow, it is a better day x

Well done on another day gamble free. Lovely you had a great day with your son and daughter and great you have them to support you. Perhaps your husband may understand one day, but the main thing is you get yourself sorted and happy and those gf days racked up. stay strong! C x

Well done heather - stay strong and keep going 🙂

First day back at work and went well, told my colleagues all the truth, I wanted to do this as I don't want to hide any more, I want to start being me again, still not gambled so all good.

I have also been doing a lot of thinking in my time of and have started a petition

Hi Heather x just been reading your diary and so sorry you've had an awful time. But so pleased for you that you've been gf and stay that way. It does so much more than take your money now your gf your living life again! Keep going hun best wishes Lu x