NEW DAWN , NEW DAY , FEELING GOOD !

Ffs !
I'm getting as dappey as you ...
Posted to you on my diary...
And that's without a drink : )

Alright Harold.
I'm just off out so I thought I would swing by and drop some luv. And thank you for your post the other day.
And of course check in with my good buddy.
Thanks again for all the support
Most of all the belly laughs
Deano x

Hi Alan,

Hope everything is okay with you...did the results of that diabetes blood test come back okay? I get the reveal on my six-monthly test on Monday, and I'm hoping to go medication free. Hope things worked out with those kids you were looking after too, but as you mentioned, it ain't always a bed of roses, but not gambling puts us in a much better position to handle those speed bumps.

Cheers

Ryan

Hi Alan, could relate alot to your recent post. Sorry to hear things are not too great at the moment.

Just actually posted something similar about how life can s**t be s**t as times and gambling only makes it harder to deal with. Also, how I passed alot of old gambling haunts this week - must be the time of the year. Probably because in past we'd be conscious of money needed for Christmas so in December the gambling would ramp up trying to win 'Xmas for free'. Instead of just keeping that money aside. Also, Christmas would give us an excuse to sneak away for some gambling time - guising it up as needing to go buy the wife's presents etc. That wasn't our main priority lets be honest.

There's a guy I work with who I have felt for a long time has a problem. The last few years I've got closer to him because of the 'betting chat'. In the last 7 months I've backed off from that alot. Anyway he said something the other day which really hit home and ties in with the above. Something along the lines of 'I've been on a bad run recently - lost a fortune. Could really be doing with a big win before Christmas but I know its not coming'

Kinda sums it up really.

Happy Christmas Harold, have a lovely time and enjoy your break from work.

Twinks xx

Merry xmas and hope all is well x

Evening my friend, thought I should pop by and say hello it's been a while.

Thanks for you for your timely post a few weeks ago it gave me the boost I was looking for. I've snapped out of my self pitying mood and am really looking forward to Christmas. My lads asked me to come round on Christmas morning and make some pancakes for breakfast and open his presents well he'll be opening the presents lol. I'm off to my brothers for dinner and he will be joining me in the evening.

I'm delighted to see you will be able to spend Christmas with the kids something all of you deserve. I have great admiration for people like you and your Mrs who help these kids out and show them that there are good tines to be had. I'm sure you the Mrs and your kids will have a great time and your new little family will be spoilt with the spoils that a non gambling life brings.

I know it doesn't need to be said but thanks again for all your support you made last Christmas bearable but this year I plan to make it memorable.

KTF your buddy Martin

Best wishes to you and yours dear Alan Al 😉

Have a good break and enjoy the good things inmevery day!

Keep looking after yourself

S x

Merry Xmas!

ALAN 135 wrote:

Been a while ain't it ? :)) Thanks everyone for all your kind comments and concern , it's very much appreciated .

So It's been a bit of a week or so ! , We no know we'll be having the kids for xmas ( personally I'd rather it be turkey ) but their not going back to their parents and as we thought the two youngest will be going for adoption but the eldest who has slight learning difficulties will be placed for long term fostercare , there's pro's and cons with all of it really but it's still a bit dificult for me to get my head around if I'm honest so I've no idea how the kids are feeling ? , It also means the eldest will continue to have contact with his parents but the two youngest once adopted will no longer see their parents and the only solace I can take from it is that the social services have prospective adoptive parents in mind that are very interested in taking the two youngest together but that's probably a couple of months away at the moment . Also had a bit of aweek with the kids who both ended up in A&E on seperate day's after having fit's , we thought it may have been the trauma of being told about the future plans by the social worker but they actually took the news quite well and the episodes were all down to a virus with high temperature . The kids parent's aren't helping matters either , at contact the other night they tried to give the eldest an old mobile phone which is against the rules of contact and was spotted by the lady supervising the visit , who told them he wasn't allowed it , my partn er then drove home and found out by the other brother that the eldest had been given it again by his mother and she'd put the tracker on to find out where they were living , it's all been reported just in case they try anything but the middle one has his birthday next week and everyone's concerned that his family will turn up and try something ?.

Really busy in the shop with the lead up to xmas and not been well myself this week which didn't help things , I don't do ilness well and turn into a right miserable Sh.1t when I am , hence the reason I didn't post last week ( it doesn't take much to upset me ) 🙁 and been a bit down if I'm honest , I think it's been all the uncertanty over the kids not feeling so hot and also have my blood tests again tommorow for my Diabetes which is no biggy but always gets me worried .

That all being said , there's always things worth laughing at , Deano's confession of running on a "pink " running machine , his wife's he say's but I'm not so sure ? combine that with the new photo on his thread and I do have my concern's ! , I worked in the clothing trade for a few years and all the models that posed that way seemed to shall we say " Lean't the other way " but "hey ho " if your'e here to come clean about your gambling then maybe getr it all out there eh? :)) and while I'm on the subject of photo's it seems Twink's has been at it too with a photo that when it first popped up from the page at me the other day , I first thought was something out of an Anne Summers catalogue ? it was only after reeling back in shock I realised it was in fact "Zippy " from Rainbow ( thankfully ) :)) , looking forward to what Loxxie's gonna post now ????.

In the garage this morning for a couple of Costa's and was given two peel off scratchcards with them , which both won and allowed me 2 free coffee's :)) , then the lady at the cash desk said as I had been so luck in winning 2 free ones perhaps I should " Go and buy some lottery tickets as it must be my day " ? ....................................... a bit of nervous laughter later and I was on my way with my warming drink :)) . Managed to get some shopping done this afternoon at a local retail outlet that houses the Casino I did much of my damage at, although I am self excluded so no chance again even if the urge struck . I bought a gift voucher for my partners son and his girlfriend for a meal out and as I was paying the girl said " I must just tell you that the voucher can't be used in the Casino " ? " Oh Bugg..er " I thought , Do you reckon someone been talking ? LoL !!.

Apologies to anyone that I may have missed with a milestone Number , a busy week and I'll try and get back to you soon :))

I've worked out this week that life is not always brilliant even if you don't gamble anymore but I also realise how much worse it would be had I still been gambling , I'm here 450 odd day's gamble free supporting my partner where needed and able to help out where needed , buying presents with money earnt and not having to take out more loans or Credit cards to do it ,life's not always a bed of roses but I'm in a much better place mentaly to deal with the cr.aap it throws at us instead of running to gambling to hold my hand and I'm once again looking forward to xmas and spending precious time with those I love :)).

Stay safe people and keep making the right decisions not to gamble :))

Talk to you soon and love to all .

My name is Alan and I'm a recovering Compulsive Gambler xx

Hi Alan

been a while since your last update. everything ok? christmas? new year?

Happy new year my old mucka.
I take it the little one's have kept you busy over Christmas?
Habe a great one
Speak soon x

Thanks for all your kind messages Deano , Tri, Hs, Martin , Loxxie , Anon , Rach , LB , Ryan and Tommy and sorry I haven't got back to you all before now , hope you all had a great " Crimbo " and wishing you all lots of love and Happiness in the new year :)) !.

Dear diary , It's been a couple of weeks since my last post and that's just down to me feeling a little strange of late , couldn't put my finger on it if I'm honest but the thing I wished for most when I had my last bet over 480 day's ago and joined this forum was " To get my life back " and be " Normal again " whatever that was supposed to mean ? and it's taken me a while to realise that I've been granted my wish :)).

The gambling is non exisitant and all thought's of said gambling happen far to infrequently to worry about , their more like fleeting moments of recollection of something " I used to do " which makes me feel almost fraudulent at times when I'm on here these day's reading of the daily struggles of a lot of my Gamcare family , that being said it wasn't always like that and I'm only too aware of how those urges can strike without warning and for no reason at all some day's . My life these day's is for all intense and purposes "Normal again" and "gamble free " , which although a fantastic feeling also brings the up's and down's of a " Normal life " but for a life which I'm no longer self medicating by visiting my long term " Doctor or " Therapist " who still resides at most high street bookmakers and who in my gambling day's of old would have eased the pain of those up's and down's albeit temporary ! .

Gambling never actually solved anything for me , it distracted me , gave me some alone time to shut the problem out but it was never the " Magic wand " that made everything better that I spent so many years giving it credit for , it was just a Devil that promised so much but that delivered so little and alway's whispering in my ear that " Tommorow would be my Day " but thankfully I've woken to the fact that " Tommorow " with addiction will always be " Groundhog day " !! .

So what about about now dear diary ? Well , now I choose to face the " Normal daily problems " that come at me , the up's and down's of " Normal life " head on ! , someday's they still scare the Sheeeite ! outta me but I'm not after a quick half hour consutation with Dr addiction to calm my fears anymore , instead preferring to deal with things as they happen , accepting that I can't control everything life chucks at me but that sometimes I have to find compromise and more so that I have to accept that compromise .

The whole Fosterkid issue that has been at the front of my mind for sometime is one such compromise , the court's desicion to split them up has not sat well with me but I have to accept that in a sometimes unjust world it will be the only way forward given the circumstances , my partner and I can only do what we can do to make the stay with us enjoyable until the time comes for them to move on to long term adoptive parents , theyv'e all had a great Xmas and been spoilt rotten , so hopefully some good memories will have been implanted for them carry through life in the future :)) .

2017 will bring much change for myself as well , with the latest news on my Hip operation now taking place in Febuary , which will hopefully have me running around like a spring chicken by July when I will become a Grandad or PoP's for real, courtesy of my darling Daughter , when she first told me I thought " Jeez " now I am getting bleedin old but I'm absolutely made up , especially for her and my son in law , My daughter has suffered since she was 15 with a condition that could have meant she was unable to have children , so this news is all the more wonderfull for that fact alone , she and her husband are currently in the Brecon beacons having a new years break in a cottage , so I've warned her not to do anything too stupid ! .

This new years eve feels a little different from all the others , as I'm sat here typing my partner's not feeling so well , sore throat for a couple of day's ( woman flu ) , so a quiet night it will be . My son's upstairs working on a dissertation of 5000 words which has to be in by Jan 10th , so for a 21 yr old not having been out all over xmas or this New yrs Eve I take my hat off to him , as that's dedication :)) but they'll be other New years Eve's for us to enjoy I'm sure as there's always a future out there waiting for us if we want it , 480 day's of being gamble free have allowed me to not change my future but have enabled me to shape it more in my favour , in such a short time thing's have altered course and I truly feel taken a completely different path than the one I thought I'd been destined for and I feel truly blessed to have been gifted a second chance .

To anyone who rerads this who is perhaps just starting out on this forum in search of a way out of the cycle of destruction we all aim to be free of , I'd just like to say say that " To want Change , you have to make Change " , " Everythings possible " !!!!!!.

To all the " Gamcare Posse " Old and New , I wish you a very "Happy new year" in 2017 .

My name is Alan and I'm a "Compulsive Gambler " 480 day's Gamble free !! xx

Evening grandad
I'm pleased to see that life is on the up for yourself. And gratz on the news a new addition is on the way.

Just a pop in to say happy new year. Well nearly
See you next year
Kisses

Hey ....congrats of the granddad news.....the best job in the world....you can hand them back lol...
And you'll be a top class one in sure
Glad to hear the winkles had a good time and I feel the same as you about the whole court system....but we can't fix everything my friend.....all we can do is the best we can during the time were involved directly with a situation.....and from what I see....you and yours have done that with all the love in the world....anyhow.....life's a bit quieter for me now.....so I shall be keeping a beady eye on all my favourite big brothers.....
Bit of diy planned and a couple days in edinburgh .....but apart from that.....it's all back to normal....simple life....love it x

Just a very quick pop in to say hello and congratulations about the grandbaby. What great news and such a lovely way to start the new year. You'll need those new hips to crawl around on the floor with the bubba. Hopefully you'll pop in before the op, but if not good luck....I'm sure it will all go well. Take care. LB x

Hi, congrats to you and your family on the baby news and to say that you are missed on here x