New diary

Hey Graham

I am glad you have started a new diary. I know you read alot there and give advise to others on here and SH.

I am privileged and feel proud to know you, call you my friend and be called yours.

Love and Hugs

Charly xx

P.S. Maybe you want to delete the duplicate new diary, lol

FIrst you have none, now you have 2.

Now deleted! And there`s me about to start an IT course at home, lol. Thanks for your lovely words Charly. You have done so well, not only with the gambling but your amazing strength in dealing with your recent illness. Prayers do come true.

I am excited that at the weekend I am playing a gig, first one in years. From the 60`s ( very young then ) I played in bands, pretty much quitting in the 90`s.

I`m playing at my local pub so should be a good laugh.

Talking of my local pub. They have had the fruit machine taken out. It wasn`t taking enough money to be viable. Now I am not sure that would have been the case some years ago when I was in action!

Hust to explain the deletions. My wi fi is acting up and I managed to post the same thing a number of times. Roll on IT course, lol!

Hi Graham! So good to see you starting a new diary, and 4 years into recovery is such an amazing example to us all! So many people (including me) are lucky to call you friend!

Hope all is going well for you!

Love, Anna

That`s so nice of you Anna. Looks as though you are doing well yourself, we havn`t spoke for ages. Ty for saying Hi.

I wonder how long I spent being " the fool on the stool ". I am pretty sure that 2 hours at a time was nothing. Couldn`t walk past a machine in a pub without playing it. Winning was only about being able to play longer. I can still picture myself walking up to the arcade cash desk with yet another ten or twenty pound in my hand. It does seem quite a distant thought now and I am pleased for it.

One big help was to change my thinking regarding money. I often joke that I am know a CS, compulsive saver. Certainly healthier than a CG! Maybe it`s common but I do feel gamblers see money as something to feed the habit. Spend £100 betting and thinking nothing of it but buying say a small present for a loved one can cause resentment because that`s " gambling tokens " being lost. Sick thinking. Yes.

I don`t feel like talking about my rock bottom right now, maybe I will later on but it took self loathing, fear and , yes, thoughts of sucicide before I started my journey to being gambling free.

I became totally committed just over 3 years ago, I am in my 4 th year of total abstainance. I discovered, by chance, Safe Harbor, a self help gambling web site. From there I found Gamcare.

Staying connected to other people with a gambling problem or indeed recovering has been so helpful for me.

They say that if you want to keep your recovery you have to give it away. So if in any way I can support others that also gives me strength if that makes any sense.

Hope everyone has a gamble free day.

Love Graham

Hi Graham

lol, like that idea, thanks for posting and reading my diary, im so grateful for all the help and support im getting. You have done so well in your recovery and staying free of gambling.

Take care mate and thanks again. ands

Well for the first time in nearly 30 years I didn`t smoke a cigarette all day! I really was a very heavy smoker and it was starting to cause concern to me. All I can say is I couldn`t have done it without the e-cigarette.

Well the gig was great! In the main a mix of blues and jazz and I so enjoyed it. When I am in my local I often tell stories of my gigging days but no one had actually heard me play before and I have sensed that perhaps some thought I was bull s..........! Looks as this is going to be a regular monthly event. Something very much to look forward to. Very tired today.

20 or so years ago I might have played 5 gigs a week and done a full time job. Couldn`t do it now!

I was just thinking. I have been scanning some of the diaries here today. What really comes across is the tremendous support that folk are offering each other. I think that is a major part of recovery. There are a good number here who really deserve to be proud of themselves. I hope that doesn`t sound patronising. I do have a bit of a problem and have discussed this in chat.

As you know I do have a fair old chunk of clean time. I am sensitive to the fact that I hope people don`t think I am being flash about it. I do have few urges now that`s true and I really don`t want to gamble.

Sometimes I wonder if I was a CG? Well I took the GA test and that surely states that I was. I guess playing fruit machines for hours on end and most days is not normal. Well that was my behaviour for 20 years.

I have been asked more than once that if I havn`t gambled for so long and I have resolve not to why do I bother coming here?

I think that is the key to my recovery. The fact that I do come here as well as SH has taught me much and hopefully is a bed rock to my recovery.

I don`t know much but what I do know is that unhealthy gambling leads to misery.

Hope you all have a gamble free week end.

Hi Graham

Good to see you here and posting a diary.

I haven't been to asafe harbot for a while but please to say I am now 18 months in recovery and having the peaceful life I always wanted but never believed I would achieve 🙂

Pleae give my best to Alice if you are in touch.

Thinking of you

love

W xxx

Well done.

Have Alice on Msn right now. Will pass it on.

Have done so and she also passes on good wishes.

Graham,

Thanks for posting on my diary, but I think you meant to be on fredas.

Good job you are taking that IT course.

DT