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i am 38 years old single at the mo and have a son who is my world, been gambling about 18months lost thousands £43000 roughly , its getting silly now , although most of the time i feel like i have not got a problem , but hey £43000 that kinda gives it away that i defently have a problem , online roulette is my main down fall, its too easy such a rush and just numbers on a screen with no physicall cash involved so when you lost you dont really feel like you have , not until there a bill to pay that you cant, im now concentrating on my creit card trying to pay more than the minimun payment on that, but its hard , if i dont stop now i know i will loose my house and my soon will think im a looser , he caught me playing once and just lied to him about playing for money, i would get angry at him if i lost , so so wrong and that is when i realised this addiction is changing my personality , although when he was in bed at night once he called me just as i lost loads and i managed to keep my cool, as i decided its my problem not his and so i am not going to take it out on him. i kinda hate the roulette wheel for what it has took from me my time money ect.. but ill be honest and say i still love to play it , but i cant play this silly game anymore as i just cant afford it just to give one reason, this site is good though for me as with online roulette you are on a lap top for a long period , as with this site writing diary replying ect.. i am still on lap top for a long period so this site as weird as it sounds helps to partly replace part of that bad online gambling habbit , and therefore take away the need abit for me to gamble online , the most i have gone without gambling scince i have started gambling when i wasnt on this site is about 4 weeks , since being on this site i have gone 7 0r 8 days so far, ps just to say i read Sabrinas diary last night [ charleys world ] it was so insparational to read and to be honest even as a man it made me cry , and it has taught me though life is just to short to waste it gambling, Sabrina and your brother Charley and your Dad God bless you all and hope you are all happy where ever you may now be x simon

hi im 36 year old woman who is single, I used to gamble online roulette and roulette mainly in the bookies I have lost over £50,000 I have managed to not gamble for 67 days now. I never want to gamble ever again but I have said that many times before hopely this is the right time.

thanks stop for your comment , its good to know im not alone in loosing stupid amounts of money , although for everyone elses sake i wish i was the only one who had , its weird tonight monday night my son in bed as its his night with his dad then back to his moms tomorrow , im on lap top as i normally would be , and dont get me wrong tonight i have no intention of doing so but i feel like i should be online betting , out of habbit more than anything else i think , so i think it is not only an addiction but a habbit aswell just like we get up in the morning eat breakfast brush our teeth ect... i think for me at least it has become as much of a habbit as that , which might sound crazy but thats how it feels , well i think then habbit needs to be broken first , then addiction , or are they just the same thing i just dont know but either way i have got to stop gambling , as i am an addicted gambler , but i found that hard to type that as to be honest i can probably go for a few weeks easily without gambling but its then after when i start again i blow loads all at once , thats me all or nothing , oh well heres to me breaking my habbit

Cheers mate for commenting on me diary.

I know it will get better but at the moment I see no light at the end of tunnel and won,t for a considerable time. I won,t gamble because feel the same way as when I went about 10 months gamble free

thanks for your post, you hit the nail on the head, with 38 approaching i have it in my head that possibly life can begin (debt and gamble free) at 40.

I currrently owe about 35K on loans & CC's and while very optimistic it is is not totaly out of the question that is could clear most if not all in the next 2 years, obviously can only happen if i stop right now.

have waste so much time and money since i was 15 i think its time to end this.

So hope i can be positive/strong and make a good go at this .

Keep strong

Pat

Hi tryer your way from alone here I have 30k worth of debt started 3 yrs ago and hope to clear debt in next 3 yrs and I will be 50 it's not easy but it's got to stop other wise it just grows . Keep strong hitthefanx

hi everyone thanks to all who have read and commented on my diary, weird, was missing, only a little i might add playing roulette this morning and yesterday , but now been on here for a bit reading commenting ect... it reminds me theres nothing to miss apart from the heartache and financial destruction it brings, and have just reminded myself how i felt after i lost £1000 ,9 days ago over a 4 day period, i felt sick and desperate, and after thinking that, i don't miss that horrible game atall , so onwards and upwards and from now on , that is going to be my first thought when i would like to gamble again , just think to myself how i felt when i lost that £1000 , and that should put an end to wanting to gamble any urges to gamble and me missing not playing roulette. Anyway folkes DAY NINE now almost halfway through , and i honestly do not think i would be able to do this on my own without any support of all you guys and without this site . Keep strong everyone and lets carryon lining our pockets instead of lining the casinos pockets

hey everyone might sound mad but just set fire to a five pound note to make me realise what i have lost ,to make it sink in what i have lost and to make me realise this is all i am doing by gambling just burning my money, and it didnt feel right like i shouldnt of been burning it , well thats right i shouldnt , in the same way i shouldnt be gambling i shouldnt be burning money by gambling , i feel better now. I still feel like i am in a world that i am alien to where in the old world, the world i knew it was an every month, week, or daily online betting period , in this new world of mine however the one i dont know there is no gambling time , no watching numbers going round a wheel no scared of zero , no highs or lows [ feelings that is, not numbers lol ] but eventually i think i will discover, realise, find this world a better place and like it much more

Hi thanks for the message in my diary, I was going to post earlier but I didn't know what to say or talk about, but at least you know I'm reading.

day 10 and it feels good , aswell i think urges are getting less , the only down side is , is its hitting home how much money i have lost

day 11 people and im not going back to day 1 , lets keep it real by no gambling

tryer

Fella I have just read your thread and would like to congratulate you on the way you have embraced recovery, it will serve you well in the future.

It's truly great to see you post on other threads too, this I believe is a great tool also in building the resolve to continue with arresting your addiction.

As you know there is no cure but a change of mentality, a re-training of the brain, a new life choice, one which will gift you not only better financial being but time to enjoy it too.

I related greatly to what you wrote about breaking the 'habit' A wise man once told me it takes 21 days to break a habit and then a lifetimes work to deal with addiction.

Use your new found time to enjoy the simple things,

Most of all be kind to yourself, you are on your way, a journey which will not only have a profound affect on you but of those you hold dear too.

All through making the right choice each day.

Again well done for finding the courage to face up to your shortcomings.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

thanks duncanmac , it helps to know people are listening , Heres to day 12 and it will continue , off to work and to busy today for urges lol

day 13 , and feeling good about it , although my weak thoughts come when i see a roulette table on telly or something as when i see one i just feel like having another go , any thoughts anyone ? as if i can sought this i think i will be safe